Takes

Acknowledging and rooting for a 'simp' is actually an alpha move.

I feel like it's almost more of an alpha move to be able to acknowledge that you root on a simp. It's like when a coach puts in an equipment manager for one touchdown run at the end of the year. That coach is an alpha by showing what a good person they are.

The 'Hot in the Streets' trend is saying you want an attractive person to kill you

My hot in the streets is saying that you want an attractive person to kill you. That's like real hot on Twitter these days... just if you think somebody's exceptionally attractive, say, oh man, I want this girl to shoot me in the head. It's a nice way of saying that she's so attractive that she could do whatever she wants to.

The Nicki Minaj and Cardi B beef will never actually end

I don't think it's going to end though. Give it like two months, the same cycle, spout off. [Nicki Minaj] has a radio show, so she needs shit to talk about.

The Pardon My Take crew is officially 'Team Cardi B'

We are team Cardi B through and through. They call us the Cardi three. Me, Hank, and Big Cat.

Coachella is just Burning Man for millennial social media kids

It's burning man for millennial social media kids because... I look on Instagram and it's like all these very attractive young ladies like, oh, can't wait for Coachella. And I'm just thinking, you're not a music festival person. You're not going to go tent for three days and live in shit.

Album releases should go back to Tuesdays

Whatever happened in the good old days where you could, like, everybody released their albums on Tuesday. You could prepare yourself mentally, financially, save up enough money where you could go to Best Buy and buy the album on Tuesday. It was a handshake agreement, and it was much better.

Someone is going to die from the table-jumping trend

No, somebody's already died. We just have—they just didn't look about it. They deleted the video. So it never got out. [Later] But we all know someone's going to die.

Coachella is just Burning Man for millennial social media kids

Coachella... It's gotten overrun, like completely blown out by mainstream people. It's burning man for millennial social media kids... where all the teens wear stupid sunglasses and feathers in their hair.

The 'Suh Dude' trend is worthy of respect because of its commitment to laziness

Anytime you're too lazy to pronounce the third letter of a word that has three letters in it, that is worthy of a little bit of respect for trying that hard to be so lazy. ... To pronounce and actually speak English to another person is a total try hard move.

The 'suh dude' trend will last until the end of the school year

I got to say at least until the end of the school year because it's already second semester and usually that won't wear off until the end.