Takes

Aaron Rodgers would rather play for Mike McCarthy in Dallas right now

Aaron Rodgers right now... he would rather I think play for Mike McCarthy right now than Matt LaFleur. Yes who can say what you want about Mike McCarthy, but he never acquired a good quarterback to play behind them... Rodgers always good in Jerry world. So maybe he goes down to Dallas.

Tom Brady will be the starting quarterback for the Chargers in 2020

So you can see pretty easily by those three facts that Tom Brady is going to be the quarterback for the Los Angeles Chargers next year.

Tom Brady could return to the 49ers just to 'cuck' Jimmy Garoppolo again

I was going to say how funny it would be if he just went to San Francisco and was like, I want to finish my hometown team. Jimmy, you're out. Just cucks Jimmy again.

The Celtics' internal tension will lead to 20 championships

This tension that they have right now is going to really, it's going to bring the team together as one. They're going to unite. Kyrie's going to be a leader. Then he's going to resign and he's going to stay a Celtic until he actually dies until he's 70 years old and he's going to have 20 championships.

The Celtics should trade whatever it takes to get Anthony Davis in his prime

If you can get a player like Anthony Davis in his prime, you do whatever it takes to get him. It's the exact same thing as the Khalil Mack situation. I don't want them to blow the whole thing up, but the reality is that they are most likely going to try and blow the whole thing up.

The Cleveland Cavaliers should hire J.R. Smith as a player-coach

I am in full support of player coach J.R. Smith. J.R. Smith, player coach. Get it trending. Do it. Petty War. NBA Twitter, you got this.

John Calipari will be the next coach of the Phoenix Suns

Now that they fired their coach and there's trouble in paradise, you think of what I'm thinking? Coach Cal. Brandon Knight, Eric Bledsoe, Devin Booker, Tyler Ulis... All went to Kentucky.

Jim 'Bones' Mackay was Phil Mickelson's personal bookie

Phil Mickelson and his caddy, Bones... they are splitting up. I mean, we all know why, right? Two reasons. One, Phil didn't go to the U.S. Open... and two, Bones was probably Phil's bookie, and Phil probably can't gamble anymore.

Russell Wilson should become a pharmacist to write Adderall prescriptions for the Seahawks defense

What if Russell goes back to school in the off-season? Here's what you do, Russ. Go to school, become a pharmacist. And then just write unlimited [Adderall] prescriptions.

Derek Jeter is jealous of A-Rod's business success with A-Rod Corp

I think that's the bottom of it, is that Derek Jeter is jealous of all of the business success A-Rod Corp has had... They sold like 50 golf shirts. He had lunch with his little girls the other day. Meanwhile, Derek Jeter can't buy the Marlins.