Takes

The Lakers are winners of the NBA trade deadline for landing Mark Williams and Luka Doncic

Winner Lakers. Luka also Mark Williams... they did need a big, that feels like a pretty good trade for them... they traded Dalton Knecht and a pick to the Charlotte Hornets, which that was basically a free roll. 'Cause they should have been in the Luka trade.

The Cavaliers are big winners of the trade deadline for acquiring De'Andre Hunter

Winner. I thought the Cavs getting De'Andre Hunter was big. Huge. Cavs are going for it. They needed that.

The Bulls are the big losers of the trade deadline because they are the dumbest organization

The bulls are a big loser because they didn't do anything that they should have done besides trade Zach LaVine... they didn't trade [Nikola] Vucevic. They didn't trade Coby White who seven teams were interested. And it's like, they're just the dumbest organization in [Arturas Karnisovas's] dumbest.

The NBA trade deadline is rigged for the Lakers

Pretty much the, the big picture trade deadline is the, the, it's rigged for the Lakers.

The Eagles are the better overall team compared to the Chiefs

I think the Eagles are the better team. I'm so, so afraid of Patrick Mahomes and the history that they're going for. I do think though the Eagles defense is the best unit that he's gonna face in probably yeah. I mean in the playoffs.

Aaron Donald is the best player I ever played against

I think the best player I ever played against was Aaron Donald for sure. Luckily he chose to, you know, be a nightmare for the guard more than he was for the center... but he was a freak for me.

Jordan Mailata might have been the best tackle in the NFL this year

Jordan Mailata this year has been potentially, I mean I think it might have been the most, the best tackle in the NFL this year... both of those guys [Lane Johnson and Mailata] booking in that line have been unbelievable.

Patrick Mahomes is the best of all time in close games

They have a quarterback that is like the best of all time with the game that close. So it's, it's hard to like pick against that. And that's why they keep winning, right?

I am a better athlete than Hank at everything

I just have to come to the realization, I'm just a better athlete than [Hank] at everything... I'm mad at myself hand up accountability. I'm just better at than Hank at everything Hand up.

I would watch an NFL player flag football tournament in the off-season

If they do it correctly, it would be like a perfect, like, I wanna say May — just do like a three day tournament with all the players. I would watch that for flag football. If it was the NFL players playing, I would watch that.

Myles Garrett is right to want out of Cleveland to win a Super Bowl

Myles Garrett has requested a trade. Cleveland Browns fans — sucks for them... but also Myles Garrett, he does probably have a few good years left and he wants to win a Super Bowl. He's 29. He's still really fucking good.

The Mavericks trading Luka Doncic is absolute malpractice

Nico Harrison — this guy should be in person... Malpractice. Malpractice. Yeah. The only guy literally deserves to be in prison. The only — it was, it's malpractice. The only way you could reasonably get over it is if like, Luca ends up being like 320 pounds.

The MLB must fire any umpire who shares a gambling account

The MLB had to fire a ref because he was umpire sharing — sorry, umpire. He was sharing a gambling account with another gambler who was gambling on baseball... even if the MLB was like, we don't even care about the whole betting part or the baseball thing, we can't have people employed by us who think it's okay to share a gambling account.

Kendrick Lamar vs Drake is the biggest blowout in subjective art history

That the Kendrick Drake thing turned into — obviously art is entirely in the eye of the beholder... but in this one thing where people can interpret it either any way they see fit, like this is as big of a blowout as you'll ever see. Ever.

I would root for Carson Wentz to win Super Bowl MVP because it would be the funniest sports story ever

I would root so hard just, and that's even say, but it would be so funny... because then I could be like, well it's not even Patrick Mahomes, he's a system quarterback. [Big Cat]: What if Patrick Mahomes goes out in the first quarter and then Carson Wentz comes in and sprains both his ankles again and still wins? [Hank]: Oh my God. That would get worse. [Max]: Biggest sports story ever.

The 'Underground Talent Railroad' transfer strategy is a genius college football idea

Let's create a network where we're all transparent with each other every fifth year. Each one of us can take its turn having the A team... PIT gets to have the 22 best players between the five programs... I don't hate it. I love it. I actually don't hate it at all. I love it.

Winning is the only statistic that truly matters for an NFL quarterback

Winning is the biggest thing. Like when you at quarterback, I think that's so important. Yeah, you have some turnovers here. Yeah, you have some ups and downs, but eliminating negative plays and winning takes you so far because... I had the best four weeks of my life just talking to more people just because you're winning. Not because you're having lights out games, but winning.

Children reach a critical development stage at age seven where they absorb every word and begin making independent decisions

My aunt, she always told me that the age of seven is when the kids, they lose their subconscious and they start to really take in every word that you say and they go start making decisions on their own. So when I'm in my quiet time, that's the thing is I'm thinking about like, man, how can I serve my son who about to be seven? 'Cause I know it's his own time.

Jalen Hurts possesses the most important quality of a quarterback: the ability to win

I've always admired Jalen Hurts and what he does from the quarterback position. Because I think a lot of people shortchange him. And what he does is he does the most important quality of a quarterback, and that is to win.

The Luka Doncic trade is the most shocking in NBA history

It's not hyperbole to say this is probably the most shocking trade in NBA history. Just because [Doncic] is 25 years old. He's one of the top five players in the NBA. He just took his team to the finals and he gets traded to the Lakers with no bidding whatsoever.

The Mystery Team in the Luka trade was likely invented just to make the Mavs GM feel better

There was a mystery team. I think it was added just to make [Nico Harrison] the Mavs GM feel a little better. But it seems like they did this deal... maybe you're in debt to the ownership of the Lakers. Maybe you need a favor from the Lakers at a later date.

Kentucky fans should absolutely boo Coach Calipari when he returns with Arkansas

Coach Cal going back to Kentucky... Drop his nuts on Kentucky. That sucked for Kentucky fans. You boo him. You can celebrate him when time has passed and he's not coaching in the SEC anymore. You boo him when he comes back right now.

If an NFL quarterback cannot effectively operate and manage the run game, their team has a limited ceiling

I felt very fortunate I was taught how to play quarterback while I was there... if you can't operate a run game in the NFL, there's only so far your team's gonna go. I truly believe that.

A successful NFL quarterback must believe they are 'God's gift' to the game

When you go on the field as a quarterback, you cannot leave any room for doubt. I think one way of doing that is... you have to go out there thinking that you are God's gift to this thing. It's an intense level of confidence. I knew that I was aware also of how good I was at football... I was probably the best player.

The decision to play quarterback at an NFL level is binary: 100% in or out

To go back to playing quarterback, you're either like all in or you're not. It's a, to me, in my mind, the schema of how you emotionally, physically, psychologically, spiritually invested in quarterback is binary. You either aren't or you are 100% in. And I had a point in my life where I was like, I am unwilling to hop to the 100% in so I can't do it.

The current USMNT roster is the most talented the United States has ever had heading into a World Cup

The roster that we have right now... going into this World Cup, that is the best roster that the US will have ever had at that point. Just looking at the players that play competitively overseas, that's as talented as we've ever been.

I would decline an offer to play in the Super Bowl as a last-minute emergency replacement

[If asked to play in the Super Bowl without practicing for a whole season] No, thank you. Appreciate it. And I'll tell you why: that's cheap. You gotta go all season. You gotta practice. You gotta earn that. I'd be hyped for the Colts though, if they're there.

Frank Gore is the 'teach tape' for how to be a pass-protecting running back

I got to play with Frank Gore, who's awesome by the way. No one knew pass protection better than Frank Gore. The dude got football... he is the teach tape on how to be a pass-protecting running back. And he is also the teach tape on how to be a gap scheme running back. The dude was unbelievable.

The Luka Doncic trade is one of the most shocking transactions in American sports history

It's one of the most shocking transactions in American sports history for the magnitude and the way it came out of the blue. I've never had my phone go crazy like this. I'm talking about players, head coaches, assistant coaches, executives, referees, agents, lawyers, workout guys, and they all had the exact same question: 'We don't understand what's going on.'

The Mavericks potentially made a catastrophic mistake trading Luka Doncic

I don't understand this, and I think this is potentially a catastrophic mistake. Nico Harrison has got some capital with the Mavs fans, but my God, if Luka turns into this... and the Lakers have another era and Luka has a statue outside Crypto.com and Luka puts up more banners, Nico Harrison will live in infamy.

Skiing is a fitness vacation

[You're going on a diet a week before vacation?] Skiing is basically a fitness vacation. Yes.

10-minute quarters in the NBA would be bad for bench players and league parity.

I think it would be bad for bench players. There would be less parity in the league and there would just be, you know, all the stars could play more minutes. We do have a lot of stars, but I think for League parity it'd be bad.

I am officially anti-biopic; the industry needs to let stories finish before buying the rights.

I've taken a bit of a stance against Biopics. I'm somewhat antibio pic. I just think enough. We've done 'em all and people are starting to get the rights to stories before they're even done happening. Like the Luigi Mangione thing happens... and then it's like someone gets the rights the next day. Let the story at least end before you buy the rights to it and start casting someone.

The Lakers have become a 'novelty situation' because of the Bronny James drafting.

The second we drafted [Bronny], I knew, I was like, damnit, we've just signed up for like a novelty situation. Which I'm happy for 'em, but like, they got the photos already. They're on the court doing the dad son hug some passes. I think maybe they just are waiting to get an oop, and then that'll be it.

The 2020 Lakers Bubble championship counts the most because it removed all distractions and travel advantages.

If anything, 2020 counts the most. Listen, you take out all the distractions and you just boil that game down to who's truly the best. Everyone plays on the same court, you get no traveling for the guy who's in his late thirties. No traveling. It's tougher on those young guys; they don't have families they had to deal with missing. The older guys have to deal with that. If anything, that was just a testament.

The Patriots were once a proud franchise, but now they are not so proud.

Once proud would be like the Patriots. You know, the Patriots were once proud. Now they're not so proud.

I am '99 percent correct' about my Caleb Williams Super Bowl prediction because the player profile I described came true with Jayden Daniels.

If I said in June of 2028 an asteroid is gonna hit Peru and cause damage the likes of which we haven't seen in centuries... and then in June of 2028 an asteroid hit Uruguay, am I more right than the people who said it would never happen? I was off by 900 miles, but I'm 99% correct, 1% wrong. In calling the NFC this year, I basically called it. I was off by 900 miles, but I'm more right than everyone else.

If Patrick Mahomes and Josh Allen swapped teams, Mahomes would have four Super Bowl appearances and two rings while Allen would have two appearances and one ring.

If it were flipped, I think Josh would've been to two and won one. And I think Mahomes would've been to four and won two. iHomes, because those Bills teams in 2022 with Mahomes instead of Josh... that team was awesome. I think 2021, it probably would've gone Josh's way in Kansas City last year with Tyreek. But I think the early Josh Allen Bills teams... you drop Mahomes on there, it's to me a similar situation as when you dropped him on Kansas City.

Patrick Mahomes is the best player ever, but Tom Brady is still the Greatest of All Time.

I already think [Mahomes] is the best player ever, but he's not the greatest quarterback of all time. I think accomplishments have to weigh a ton, and so Brady gets to be called the GOAT. I think that if they pull off the three-peat, you can, and someone wants to say he's now the greatest of all time, it's at least an allowed opinion.

Jalen Hurts' performance in Super Bowl 57 was the best individual performance ever for a player who also made the play that lost his team the game.

The best game Jalen Hurts ever played is that Super Bowl game. And I would argue it is the single best game any player has ever played that also included them making the play that lost their team of the game. I think of all the games where one guy made a totally unforced catastrophic error that cost his team a championship, he played the best in that game.

Getting your ass kicked in the playoffs is better than losing a close game

I think it captures the moment perfectly. It's... the two guys on the bus meme. One is really pissed off. Doom and gloom. The other guy's super happy. The guy that's pissed off is losing a close game. The guy that's super happy is getting your ass kicked. So getting your ass kicked is better in those situations, I think than being like, oh, you know, we were one play away.

NFL film dorks who watch the 'dots' don't actually like football

You can't use the dots... They use the overhead dots and the overhead. I don't know who likes watching the dots. It's all the like, film nerd people. You don't, you don't like football if you like watching the dots. Yeah. Or maybe, maybe you can, but I can't appreciate looking at the dots and understanding how awesome football is. Nobody's hitting each other. There's nothing cool that happens.

Jimmy Butler is an absolute locker room cancer

I mean he's old and he's proven himself time and time again to just be an absolute locker room cancer can't even win.

The Warriors should have just resigned Klay Thompson and stayed old together

I don't even think like, this is why this revisionist history just fucking should have just resigned Klay and just gotten like, you have to pick a lane. Like just maybe just get old together. And just be like, all right. It was fun, but everyone got to stay together... if you know you're not gonna win again, just go nostalgia.

Aaron Rodgers has 'druggie eyes' and is the problem with the Jets

I think the problem is Aaron. I think he's the problem... I look them in the eye to look for, to see if they're druggies. And I gotta tell you, Aaron Rodgers has druggie eyes. He looks like a druggie. Aaron Rodgers just has druggie eyes to me.

Ashton Jeanty should have won the Heisman

The person who should have won the Heisman, Ashton Jeanty... Travis Hunter had a pretty good season... [but] Ashton Jeanty shoulda won the Heisman.

Kyle Pitts is never going to happen

Kyle Pitts is never gonna happen fast. [PFT]: I like that. That's the best point that you've made.

Getting old is primarily about 'giving less of a fuck'

I think the number one thing is giving less of a fuck. That's the number one thing with age that is so much better. Where it's like, I don't start dressing better, but it's like, I don't care. I got kids. I got a good life. I don't give a fuck.

I refuse to count Jayden Daniels' last interception against the Eagles as a real stat.

Jayden played awesome. I thought he played great. We're not counting that last interception. If he throws a pick on this last drive, it doesn't count. I agree with that. It counts for Quinyon Mitchell... but that doesn't go against Jayden's stats in my book.

Saquon Barkley is the best player in the NFL and will change the running back market.

Saquon Barkley is the best player in the NFL and I think that he will, he's gonna change the running back market because it shows that we're going back into a play of game where running the football matters and you can win running.