Takes

The 2021 Bucks championship was one of the hardest NBA titles to win ever

I mean, look, we played the Brooklyn Nets in the second round. They've got three superstars... and it was definitely one of, if not the hardest. We started off with a team that we owed revenge to [Miami], and the Atlanta Hawks are a good young team... and the Phoenix Suns are obviously a great team.

PJ Tucker's role on a championship team is specifically to be the 'dog'

PJ Tucker's role is to be a dog. So he was just like saying, you need dogs to win that's him. Yeah. So he was like, yeah. He was like defining his role. He had to teach everyone else how to be a dog.

Texas is the most high-maintenance girl in college football

It is a very Texas thing to do. They always think that they're going to be the hottest chick in the room and they never are. It's like Texas is the most high maintenance girl that you've ever dated. They always need to be told how good they look all the time.

Olivia Manning is effectively a Hall of Fame 'contributor' for her role in her family's success

I feel like Olivia Manning should be nominated for the hall of fame as a contributor... [Baker]: Olivia and... frankly, her mom was a world-class sprinter, you know? So I think he [Christian McCaffrey] got some speed from her... Olivia and I, and again, I got to tell you... I've always regarded him [Archie] as one of the great fathers.

Cleaning your ass with a showerhead and a towel is a valid solution when you run out of TP while moving

I sat down and started taking a shit and realized there was no toilet paper. And so I just took a shower... I didn't have anything. I just literally got in the shower or like wipe my ass and then got out... I used the towel and I threw away the towel.

Experienced fathers develop a 'sixth sense' that allows them to catch vomit in their hands

I finally get after all these years, like why people love the Jersey shore... My son was a little sick this week. I, now I have like dad's sixth sense. I caught my son's puke in my own hand that's because I knew it was coming and I fucking caught the whole goddamn puke in my hands.

Giannis Antetokounmpo's Game 6 performance was one of the top three or four of all time, better than Michael Jordan or LeBron James.

I think it was one of the top three or four Game 6 performances of all time... Michael Jordan would be one. The other would be LeBron James against the San Antonio Spurs... and it [Giannis's performance] was better than both of those. It was 50 points in a clincher.

The crown of the NBA has been passed from LeBron James to Giannis Antetokounmpo.

I think the torch discussion... I feel like that's not even the correct discussion to have. I feel like we should have a crown discussion. I think the crown is now [Giannis's]. I think that it's no longer King James. I think it's King Giannis.

The Milwaukee Bucks winning the NBA title is good for the game of basketball.

I'm going to put this out there. It's good for the game. The Bucks winning is good for the game.

Dabo Swinney only opposes a 12-team playoff because he is afraid of Clemson being upset.

Dabo doesn't think there are 12 teams good enough for an expanded college football playoff. That was another quote... He just doesn't want to have the chance of being upset, but yeah, and he's got his spot locked up forever.

Chris Paul's foul on Giannis Antetokounmpo in Game 5 was one of the dirtiest plays possible

I'm officially out on Chris Paul. I'm team fuck Chris Paul for life now... because that foul on that alley-oop is like the dirtiest thing that you can possibly do. It's so quick... you can't like try to injure the team's best player. That dirty ass move. I'm out.

Giannis Antetokounmpo's viral quote about ego, pride, and humility makes no sense

Giannis had a quote after the game... 'When you focus on the past, that's your ego. When you focus on your future, that's your pride. When you focus on the present, that's humility.'... Am I the only one? The quote makes no sense. I don't really understand how you can focus on the exact present all the time... I thought that the pride and ego thing should have been swapped.

Winning The Open Championship is arguably more prestigious than winning The Masters

It's a low-key great trophy. I actually have a part of me that thinks I would rather win the Open Championship than the Masters. It's just so much class... just for so many years after the fact, you just get to hear Scottish people address you as the open championship winner.

The crash between Lewis Hamilton and Max Verstappen was just a 'racing incident'

I actually took Lewis Hamilton's side. I thought that he—Robbins racing. They call it a racing incident... Like a bang-bang targeting call that isn't targeting... football incident. Let's keep playing. My whole thing is, I can't get up for the F1 races.

LeBron James is a terrible actor in Space Jam: A New Legacy

I have a couple of big bones to pick with LeBron James though. He's a terrible actor, number one. No, horrible. He fucking killed Bugs Bunny... LeBron, as an actor, was not great.

The 3D versions of Looney Tunes characters look gross and should never be made

I would also like to say that they should never make cartoons 3D. It's weird... It's never going to look good. And yeah, it's like, they're trying to make like the cartoon—it's like gross. You don't add that extra dimension to it.

Space Jam: A New Legacy would be a 10/10 movie if LeBron James wasn't in it

I actually think what this movie would have been way better without LeBron James. Oh, absolutely... besides all of the scenes that he was in. Good job LeBron. Yeah, that's probably the best way to review the whole thing. Outside of LeBron, this movie was a 10 out of 10.

Khris Middleton is not a superstar, but a very good player who is occasionally great

Chris Middleton now has everyone befuddled because we have this rule in media and how we digest all these games... Are you a superstar or not? 40 points, you should be a superstar, but he's not, he's just a guy who's very good and then sometimes great. And I think that's a totally fine place to put him.

College football coaches should shave their mullets to avoid outshining players in the NIL era

I think it's a smart move in this new name, image, likeness era of college sports to shave. You can't stand out more than your players. You can market to your players like, hey, you'll get so much money if you come to school here. If you have more swag than your players, then they might be like, 'listen, I'm not even the biggest fish on campus.'

Sean Miller would be the greatest used car salesman of all college basketball coaches

The easy answer is going to be Sean Miller on this one. Just because you can see him patrolling the lot out there, sweating through his suit. That's a man that was born to be in a used car commercial.

The Home Run Derby has become way too complicated with clocks and Statcast data

The only reason I care about [the Home Run Derby rules] is because they took what was quite literally the simplest competition in sports, which is hit ball over fence... and then they put a clock in it. They added extra time based on a Statcast. They started measuring exit velocity. Timeouts should never be incorporated into the Home Run Derby. It's a very simple process.

A normal person would never get a hit off Jacob deGrom even in 1,000 at-bats

If you did one at-bat for a thousand days, I would say zero [chance of a hit]. Eventually, at you just be standing there and you just be pure guessing on time. The thing with [deGrom] is like, this ball goes like this... and then yeah. I mean, he throws 95-mile sliders and they look like fastballs till you go to swing at it.

Base running is the most difficult thing to do in baseball besides hitting

I know that it is the most... it's the closest to being a player as a coach. You are because you have to react as a base runner... Base running, everything changes every pitch and you are involved every pitch and you have to react off of nine people, not just the pitch in one person. There are more mistakes than anything else.

USA Basketball losing to Nigeria is actually good for the sport

This is good for basketball. I like, I love those people. I don't care. You know, it's, it's, it's shown the, all the good that the United States has done on an international level. The fact that these teams who used to just look up to us and get autographs from our players after the games are now able to compete, it really goes to show you what a great job United States basketball has done in spreading the game.

Gareth Southgate is to blame for England's Euro loss due to delayed substitutions

I think south gate [Southgate], I think you took too long to meet the changes because when you brought on stack off [Saka] is when they equalized... Sack [Saka] was 19. How'd you make it a 19 year old, 10 [take] the final penny [penalty]? How can you make a 19 year old?

Influencers like Addison Rae can get better interview answers than professional journalists

I would actually argue that she [Addison Rae] probably can get more out of some of these guys. Then if you have like a guy standing in the suit, a frumpy guy standing in a suit who went to Medill with a mustard stain on his tie... you're probably get actually better answers when you have a, an attractive celebrity tick talker.

Suns fans in 8K hit differently and make the viewing experience much better

But they're here for the Suns, and when they're in 8K, it hits different. It hits a little bit different in 8K. It's way different than when they're showing like the British fans in 8K... the Suns fans in 8K, it made the viewing experience that much better.

The Tampa Bay Lightning's back-to-back Cup wins is the second-best redemption arc in sports history behind UVA

The one thing that's nuts to think about, obviously everyone goes to the UVA, losing to UMBC, coming back and winning it all the next year... I think the Tampa Bay Lightnings might be right behind that because... [after being swept] they went and won back-to-back Stanley Cups.

Soccer should change the rules to prohibit scoring on a penalty kick rebound

I don't think you should be able to rebound a penalty in soccer... I just feel like you should get it if you miss it you miss it... If you miss it, you miss it. It's a fucking free throw.

There is no conclusive evidence that the shortened NBA turnaround caused the recent surge in injuries

I'm just not sure based on everything I've read that we have some conclusive evidence that these injuries have happened just because of what we had in the past year... Silver definitely pushed back on it, which I was just at least I guess I was even surprised because he's been so pro player as a commissioner.

I will not play for the Portland Trail Blazers if Damian Lillard is traded

[Big Cat]: Name five of your favorite cities... Portland. [Drummond]: Dame's not there, though. No. [Big Cat]: Andre Drummond says he will not be going to Portland if Damien Lillard gets traded.

Perfectly packing a car with vacation gear and kids is the official mark of a dad

Packing a car with two little kids and like doing the Tetris move to get the whole car full. I've never felt I earned my dad pinstripes like that was the official moment. I was like, yeah, I'm a dad because it was the hardest thing I've ever done. And it was like I wasted not a single inch.

Phil Mickelson is the only reason The Match is successful

Phil Mickelson, he's the guy. He's the guy who makes [The Match] go, and he gets all the credit in my mind for being just fun to be around.

Joey Chestnut is pound-for-pound the greatest athlete of all time

I really do think pound for pound [Joey Chestnut] is the greatest athlete of all time. Maybe you could say Secretariat, but I don't. No, I think... Joey Chestnut has won 14 titles now. 14. No one has ever won that many titles at anything.

My Murray State team would have beaten the college teams of my current NBA teammates

We all know Murray State would have beat all of them. [referring to Gonzaga, Duke, Michigan State teammates]

The logic of Scientology makes the most sense compared to other religions

Scientology is a way to answer questions. Religion is a way of answering questions. Before any of them start extorting you for money and then they all become frauds, Scientology makes the most sense.

Olympic horses should receive medals instead of the human riders

Why are we giving the people who ride on the horses medals? Like, shouldn't these medals go to the horses? ... How come the horse doesn't get that medal?

Rob Manfred should refuse to drug test Shohei Ohtani for the good of the sport

Rob Manfred, do not piss test Shohei Ohtani whatever you do. I don't care what he's on right now. The only way you could fuck this up is if you stuck a little test strip into a stream of urine and then you just were just a big bummer for America.

I enjoy watching sports injury videos on the internet

I will stand by that. I like watching injury videos. I don't like watching in real life injuries. Okay. Put me on the other side of a computer and I'll feel okay.

Players who flop should be legally allowed to be shoved on the court

There was a technical debt that had been accrued on the part of Chris Paul over the course of that game with the flops... at that point, you should be allowed to shove him and actually get your jollies in, make contact with him to even up that debt that exists.

I will never be 'Team Bryson' and his caddy quitting is his own fault

I will never in my entire life be team Bryson ever... If he keeps having everyone in his life quit on him, I will continue silently feeling a little bit bad for the guy because I have a heart. [But] the guy makes millions of dollars playing golf and he's got [no friends] because of himself. That should be a wake-up call.

I am angry that NIL wasn't active during my college career

Everyone's, you know, selling merch, being a Twitch streamer and making money off of their likeness... I was in college [in 2017]... kind of pissed that this happened so many years later and not when I was in college.

The 2021 NBA Playoff injuries are mostly freak occurrences rather than a result of the shortened season

I still believe... that this is the weirdest playoffs ever... a lot of these injuries are kind of freak injuries that I don't know if that has anything to do with playing the season was shortened rests off of the bubble. I just think there's a lot of freak injuries. They've happened all at once.

The Hawks would have beaten the Bucks in Game 4 even if Giannis didn't get hurt

I do think the Hawks would have, they kind of were going to win this game without Giannis getting hurt. Like I know Hank just sitting there just saying 'game' after every made shot, that was pre-injury. The Hawks were playing like a spirited, like, Hey, we're coming out here, everyone in the world thinks we have no chance without Trae Young, fuck the world.

The Tampa Bay Lightning are cheating by exploiting NHL salary cap rules

I do feel like we should take some time to point out the fact that the Lightning, the cap gymnastics on the part of the Lightning... I find one way to make an excuse out of my prediction of the Canadians winning. And that's just like putting all my eggs in the 'these guys cheat by exploiting the cap' basket.

The Sopranos prequel being a movie instead of a TV show is a mistake

The trailer for the new movie, it's a movie. I thought it was a TV show and the fact that it's a movie is a little bit worrisome... I just feel like it's going to be hard to—the TV show was so good because you know, you can extend the episodes... and they try and compact it all into two hours.

Scotty Pippen is doing a great job promoting his bourbon because his controversial takes are keeping him in the news

I actually think he's doing a great job of pitching this bourbon... because everyone's talking about Scotty Pippen, but calling Phil Jackson racist for drawing up a winning play to Toni Kukoc... it goes against everything that everyone knows... he's on a scorched earth tour just getting back at everybody.

American sports owners like Stan Kroenke and the Glazers tried to turn European football into WrestleMania

And in came the American sports owners... Stan Kroenke, who it's not clear to me actually knows he owns Arsenal... you've got the Glazers... and they've got ideas... it was a bit like that old sci-fi show V where we welcomed in the aliens who seem nice... to try and turn what is precious, what has grown over a century, just that evolution, the history, the traditions, and to try and turn that into WrestleMania was a bit dark.

Celebrity boxing exhibitions are fine as cash grabs, but it's a problem when the public believes they are watching real fights

I'm all for anybody—boxing is unbridled capitalism, right?... I'm fine with the cash grab... exhibitions are never going away. The problem is, is when the public actually believes they're watching a fight. Floyd Mayweather going to sit in there and telling you... 'I'm just going to go in and just do this and carry the guy and dance around.' But when the public actually thinks they're watching a fight and are talking about it as if it's a fight... that's where I don't go for it.

Cristiano Ronaldo is not a top three Ronaldo

It's time that we have an honest conversation about Ronaldo. I don't even think he's a top three Ronaldo. You've got Ronaldo, you've got Ronaldinho, who is named Ronaldo... Fat Ronaldo. He's number six overall Ronaldo.