Takes

Joining the SEC is a mistake for Texas because they are not 'back' yet

Texas is going to be in trouble. I think if they go to the sec because they're not, they're not Texas, Texas is not back yet. They've been almost back for a while. And I think, I think it'd be a big mistake. They still think that there the Texas of old.

Penguin meat would be a delicious treat because of their fat layer

I'm going to go with a penguin. Ooh. I would eat a penguin... And you admit though, like their diet gives them a nice layer of fat. Yeah. It's probably a delicious treat. Yeah. Right.

Giannis Antetokounmpo's Game 6 performance was one of the top three or four of all time, better than Michael Jordan or LeBron James.

I think it was one of the top three or four Game 6 performances of all time... Michael Jordan would be one. The other would be LeBron James against the San Antonio Spurs... and it [Giannis's performance] was better than both of those. It was 50 points in a clincher.

Tom Brady will run for President of the United States in the future.

I will have a comment on [Tom Brady's] performance at the White House. He looked great standing up there speaking to our nation. I could see it happening in the future. I really can... I am running for President. He was great dropping jokes. Good looking guy. Everyone loves him. Winner.

Chris Paul's foul on Giannis Antetokounmpo in Game 5 was one of the dirtiest plays possible

I'm officially out on Chris Paul. I'm team fuck Chris Paul for life now... because that foul on that alley-oop is like the dirtiest thing that you can possibly do. It's so quick... you can't like try to injure the team's best player. That dirty ass move. I'm out.

The Bucks' playoff record sequence will finish as a perfect palindrome

If they end up winning on Tuesday night, the Bucks this playoffs are going to go a perfect sequence of four wins, two losses, two wins, a loss, two wins, a loss, two wins, a loss, two wins, two losses and four wins. It's exactly 4-2-2-1-2-1-2-1-2-2-4. It's a palindrome.

Bryson DeChambeau is 'unworkable' as a brand spokesperson

Do you know how big of a dickhead you have to be to get fired as a spokesperson for somebody... and they're about to fire him? Like the guy that they went out and begged to be a part of the team and be the face of Cobra drivers, they're like, 'Fuck, we can't work with this guy. He's unworkable.' He is never happy.

LeBron James is a terrible actor in Space Jam: A New Legacy

I have a couple of big bones to pick with LeBron James though. He's a terrible actor, number one. No, horrible. He fucking killed Bugs Bunny... LeBron, as an actor, was not great.

Chris Paul's poor Game 4 performance might be due to vertigo

I don't know what vertigo is. Is that considered an injury or is that considered a disease or an ailment? I think he has vertigo. Because he just, he looked dizzy when he was trying to dribble the ball. Like he didn't know where the ball was going to come up after I hit the ground.

College football coaches should shave their mullets to avoid outshining players in the NIL era

I think it's a smart move in this new name, image, likeness era of college sports to shave. You can't stand out more than your players. You can market to your players like, hey, you'll get so much money if you come to school here. If you have more swag than your players, then they might be like, 'listen, I'm not even the biggest fish on campus.'

Jameis Winston and Taysom Hill are on the same level and Sean Payton will tank

Whatever's happening at the Saints organization. I put Jameis and Taysom on the same level. I think Sean Payton is going to tank for a high draft pick.

I will spend $20,000 on a guys' trip for PMT if I hit 20 home runs in the second half

All right. I like that. Okay. Yeah. Just the guys... 20 home runs? A lot of home runs in the second [half]. 20 for 20. If you hit 20 home runs, we'll do a Brewster's millions, but it's $20,000 weekend where Christian just spends it on us.

Conor McGregor is finished as a legitimate top-tier fighter

So him, him as a legitimate fighter that is over... he hasn't won, he's won one fight since 2016. And the guy he beat had has lost or has not won a fight in his last six fights. So he, he's not, he's just not going to be able to fight at a high level.

USA Basketball losing to Nigeria is actually good for the sport

This is good for basketball. I like, I love those people. I don't care. You know, it's, it's, it's shown the, all the good that the United States has done on an international level. The fact that these teams who used to just look up to us and get autographs from our players after the games are now able to compete, it really goes to show you what a great job United States basketball has done in spreading the game.

Gareth Southgate is to blame for England's Euro loss due to delayed substitutions

I think south gate [Southgate], I think you took too long to meet the changes because when you brought on stack off [Saka] is when they equalized... Sack [Saka] was 19. How'd you make it a 19 year old, 10 [take] the final penny [penalty]? How can you make a 19 year old?

Influencers like Addison Rae can get better interview answers than professional journalists

I would actually argue that she [Addison Rae] probably can get more out of some of these guys. Then if you have like a guy standing in the suit, a frumpy guy standing in a suit who went to Medill with a mustard stain on his tie... you're probably get actually better answers when you have a, an attractive celebrity tick talker.

Soccer should change the rules to prohibit scoring on a penalty kick rebound

I don't think you should be able to rebound a penalty in soccer... I just feel like you should get it if you miss it you miss it... If you miss it, you miss it. It's a fucking free throw.

I have conquered my free throw shooting struggles by finding a consistent routine

Well, if you have noticed, I'm shooting at least 70 right now. So I think that's something I've conquered already... I found a routine and shot it the same way for the entire summer. And it's been my routine ever since.

I will not play for the Portland Trail Blazers if Damian Lillard is traded

[Big Cat]: Name five of your favorite cities... Portland. [Drummond]: Dame's not there, though. No. [Big Cat]: Andre Drummond says he will not be going to Portland if Damien Lillard gets traded.

Aaron Rodgers should retire from football right now following his win in The Match

I think speaking as a football fan, if Aaron Rodgers decided that was his last competitive event in the history of his life, I think us as fans would applaud him, and he doesn't owe us anything more, and next stop Canton.

Joey Chestnut is pound-for-pound the greatest athlete of all time

I really do think pound for pound [Joey Chestnut] is the greatest athlete of all time. Maybe you could say Secretariat, but I don't. No, I think... Joey Chestnut has won 14 titles now. 14. No one has ever won that many titles at anything.

My Murray State team would have beaten the college teams of my current NBA teammates

We all know Murray State would have beat all of them. [referring to Gonzaga, Duke, Michigan State teammates]

Rob Manfred should refuse to drug test Shohei Ohtani for the good of the sport

Rob Manfred, do not piss test Shohei Ohtani whatever you do. I don't care what he's on right now. The only way you could fuck this up is if you stuck a little test strip into a stream of urine and then you just were just a big bummer for America.

I enjoy watching sports injury videos on the internet

I will stand by that. I like watching injury videos. I don't like watching in real life injuries. Okay. Put me on the other side of a computer and I'll feel okay.

Players who flop should be legally allowed to be shoved on the court

There was a technical debt that had been accrued on the part of Chris Paul over the course of that game with the flops... at that point, you should be allowed to shove him and actually get your jollies in, make contact with him to even up that debt that exists.

The Phoenix Suns will sweep the NBA Finals

Suns in four is our prediction for the NBA finals, this [NBA Finals]. Give Chris Paul the accolades that he deserves.

NBA teams should sign stars and then only play them once the role players have won the early playoff series

Reggie Miller was mega right about resting the players. You should just, the new formula should be you sign star players and then you just try to win all the playoff series against inferior teams with your role guys. And then you put your stars back in for the fight.

The Tampa Bay Lightning are cheating by exploiting NHL salary cap rules

I do feel like we should take some time to point out the fact that the Lightning, the cap gymnastics on the part of the Lightning... I find one way to make an excuse out of my prediction of the Canadians winning. And that's just like putting all my eggs in the 'these guys cheat by exploiting the cap' basket.

Scotty Pippen is doing a great job promoting his bourbon because his controversial takes are keeping him in the news

I actually think he's doing a great job of pitching this bourbon... because everyone's talking about Scotty Pippen, but calling Phil Jackson racist for drawing up a winning play to Toni Kukoc... it goes against everything that everyone knows... he's on a scorched earth tour just getting back at everybody.

The United States will win the World Cup in Roger Bennett's children's lifetime

The America will be world champions... in your children's lifetime.

The growth of legalized sports gambling is the best thing that will happen to sports broadcasting

I actually think that the growth of gambling and accessibility is going to be the best thing that happens to our business because nothing's going to be meaningless. There is no meaningless. It doesn't matter what the score is. It also doesn't matter what the game is. It matters what the handle is, where the juice is, where the action is.

Cristiano Ronaldo is not a top three Ronaldo

It's time that we have an honest conversation about Ronaldo. I don't even think he's a top three Ronaldo. You've got Ronaldo, you've got Ronaldinho, who is named Ronaldo... Fat Ronaldo. He's number six overall Ronaldo.

Sports would be better if we got rid of replay entirely

What if we just got rid of replay in every sport? I feel like we've gone so far in the direction of getting it right to the point where we're getting it wrong... I enjoy sports more when we're not taking all these positives... What if we just stopped reviewing everything in the NFL?

The Montreal Canadiens are officially America's team

I think the Canadiens are now officially America's team. It feels like it's coming home. Is it coming home? It's coming home. It's coming home for the Canadiens.

James Conrad's disc golf shot is the most clutch play in the history of any sport

I actually think that this is the most clutch play ever in the history of any sport. Name me a better shot than this... That shot was awesome.

Ben Simmons does not love basketball

I do think Ben Simmons is probably one of those guys who falls in the camp of he's really good at basketball but probably doesn't love basketball. Because you can't love basketball and just never fix the fact that you can't shoot. Right?

NC State are the real national champions of college baseball

NC State got screwed. Wolfpack are my national champions. They actually did a parade, and they had everyone come to the stadium. They said, we're the national champs. If UCF can do it, why can't NC State?

The 2018 NBA Draft should be redrafted to consider Trae Young over Luka Doncic

The best thing I said about [Trae Young] was that we now have to redraft the 2018 NBA draft. Because that's the biggest – Luka, how could you pick Trae Young ahead of – or how could you – the trade that went down where the Hawks basically traded back and they're like, you take Luka, we'll take Trae Young. So I think that that's actually... yeah, it's a discussion.

Jay Williams' 'hacked' excuse is an all-time idiot move

Jay Williams, all time idiot, like dumb tweet. And then on top of all that, he deletes it and waits like three hours and says... I did not post that. And my passcode has now been changed. So just like every hacker usually sets up, they spend years at hacking school so that they can one day tweet from Jay Williams' account that the Celtics hired the first black head coach.

I am retiring from professional lacrosse very soon

how long how much longer are you gonna play for real? Not much longer. Really? Yeah. I'm 35... I get checked now, and I have bruises that last for weeks. So it's actually going to... My hips crack in the morning, my knees crack.

Giving blood is the best way to save money on drinking

But the great thing about giving blood is if you give blood, you get drunk off like half a beer afterwards. So it's actually very economical. I'm just trying to be an ambassador for health.

Matthew Stafford will win NFL MVP

Sean McVay was talking to Albert Breer and said, bro, this dude's a bad motherfucker. Whatever people say about him, as good as it can be, he's even better than advertised. ... I saw it. I saw the future. MVP.

Matthew Stafford is a Hall of Famer

Dude, I'm rooting for Matt Stafford because there's a few takes that we all have out there that are just lingering, and Matt Stafford being a Hall of Famer, I could retire on that take.

Urban Meyer is an awesome person who will have his players' backs

Urban's great, man. ... He's changed my life in the six months I've known him... And the way he motivates people, and I know you're not going to want to hear it if you don't like him, but if you get to know him, there is something about him. ... I'm just saying, if he came in here and you worked with him, you'd love him. He would have your back on anything.

Bryson DeChambeau is a mentally weak golfer and a quitter.

We call him a lot of stuff, but we've never called him a quitter until today. And he quit when his giant cleats didn't save him... At that point, Bryson was like, I don't want to be out here anymore. And he quit. He is a mentally weak golfer.

Defensive teams should score a run if they turn a triple play.

Actually, I think you should be able to get a run for a triple play. On defense, you should be able to score a run if you get a triple play... give us what the fans want, and that's defensive runs.

Bryson DeChambeau is a 'pussy' for refusing to play with Brooks Koepka

Bryson sucks today. Brooks is awesome. Bryson sucks. Brooks was tied for the lead. And then because Bryson didn't want to play with Brooks because he's too big of a pussy to do it, he had to play with a harder course in the afternoon, which basically skulls fucked him.

The Hawks might have been right for choosing Trae Young over Luka Doncic

We're seeing now, were the Hawks right for taking Trae Young and not Luka Doncic? Maybe. So there you go. That's really when you know that you got a good one, when we're doing the revisionist history.

Ben Simmons should shoot more in the 4th quarter, even if he misses everything

I actually think if I were Ben Simmons, strategy going into game six, I would just shoot all the time in the fourth quarter. Because I really do believe if Ben Simmons went one for seven in the fourth quarter, it would be better than shooting one time in the last four games in the fourth quarter. That's basically giving up.

I am 'mojacked' than Tyrann Mathieu

I think I'm definitely mojacked than Tyrann. I respect the fact that you said that. I'm actually glad you said it, but I don't think he would agree. I feel I would get squashed in an instant, but...