Takes

Brock Purdy is a top 5 NFL quarterback

I think he's top five. Here's the thing about Brock Purdy. I think he's, you know, talent wise, I think like actual arm speed, all that. Maybe not. He's just got this dog mentality. ... Jimmy [Garoppolo] would just take sacks. And then Brock, they were playing the Raiders and Max Crosby just came through and Brock just did this one move and sidearm it to CMC and it was like a 45 yard gain. And you're like, that was the one play where I was like, this guy can just do it.

Queens of the Stone Age are the best American rock band of the last 40 years

I could argue they're the best American rock band in the last 40 years. ... And I'll go album for album with anybody. They're album because they evolve. ... You wanna see people evolve. You wanna see people try stuff that maybe sometimes doesn't work, but then you get to see 'em try stuff that does work. And you're like, yeah, this shit rules.

Devin Booker is a worse player when he wears a headband

I also have a vibe stat for this game. And it has nothing—it's based on absolutely nothing. I'm sure someone will actually give me the stats and say I'm wrong. I don't think Devin Booker's good when he wears a headband. I just don't. I don't know why... I think maybe his head is too constricted.

The 76ers will win their series against the Knicks despite being down 2-0

And then the final act, new tweet: Sixers will win this series.

Michael Penix Jr. could be drafted before JJ McCarthy

I was sniffing around this morning 'cause I had, there's so much stuff flying around and like one of the teams had told me like, 'Hey, I wouldn't be surprised if when it was all said and done if Penix went over McCarthy.'

The Clippers are going to win the Western Conference

The Los Angeles Clippers are going to win the West. Ooh. Not that they're gonna compete. That they're gonna compete. Hey, I, I said that mostly just to get Hank's hopes up because Hank is grasping at all the straws.

Jerry Reinsdorf is the worst owner in the NBA

The Chicago Bulls are a joke of an organization. Jerry Reinsdorf is one of the worst owners, if not the worst in the NBA. He's a fucking clown... the Chicago Bulls have made the playoffs two times in the last nine seasons. Two times they've back to back nine 10 game champions and that's it.

Byron Murphy could be a surprise top 10 pick and the first defensive player drafted

The more people I've talked to in the league, the more I get the sense that Byron Murphy defensive tackle from from Texas could be, and, and, and I, I don't wanna say it's most likely, but if there's gonna be a surprise in the top 10, it's Byron Murphy.

Drake Maye looks short on film and the ball looks heavy in his hands

Drake Maye... This was the biggest, the biggest deterrent and, and the thing that I see happening the most, the ball seems very heavy in his hands... It just seems like it takes him a long time to get the ball up and out... [He] looked short in the film that I was watching.

The Lakers are going to beat the Nuggets in their playoff series

I think they could be the nuggets... Championship experience, you know... [They've] got the players of all time. Anthony Davis, all stars, all NBA players. Why not?

Golfers should be allowed to use any club they want, regardless of size

My take is that you should be allowed to use whatever club you want. Yeah. Ever. Like all the time. Doesn't matter how big it is. Gets blow in the hole. You should, you should be allowed to cheat at golf with the clubs that you use. You, you obviously have to take your own shots. But if they're your clubs, they're in your bag. Just get the ball in the hole.

The Patriots should draft Marvin Harrison Jr. instead of a quarterback

I'm still down for Marvin Harrison Jr. No. One Bailey's Afro set. Yeah. There's plenty of fine quarterbacks out there. You have a franchise wide receiver who's a stud and can actually make things happen with a perfectly fine Jacob Brissett.

The Sixers will beat the Heat, the Knicks, and the Bucks in the 2024 NBA playoffs

I like the Sixers to beat the heat. I also like the Sixers to beat the Knicks Ooh. And then I like the Sixers to beat the Bucks. I do actually like that the Knicks like tried because I think that there you should, you should have some pride and be like, we're not ducking anyone.

The NBA should allow the top four seeds to draft their first-round opponents

The NBA should do two new things the NBA should do. They should do a draft of who the top four seeds get to pick who they get to play in the first round. And also there should just be an automatic Weby makes the Playoffs clause.

The 76ers will beat the Clippers in six games in the 2024 NBA Finals

Sixers over Clippers and six.

Shohei Ohtani was likely gambling and is using Ippei Mizuhara as a cover

I think he was gambling... I think they just want the chaos. But I think that's crazy to accuse unless like they did a full investigation and he's clear.

Max Homa needs to be more of an asshole to win major championships

I do like [Max Homa], but I think he has that Rory disease... He wants to be liked too much. He's a very nice guy. But I want him to be more of an asshole because I think assholes win these things.

The solar eclipse was overrated

So my Hot Seat is us. We're still in the third dimension. I was kind of looking forward to it. So that was, it was gonna be cool throne, but I kind of was hoping we were in the hot fourth dimension. So, well, eclipse sucked, overrated eclipse.

I would not leave the Masters if I were winning, even for the birth of my first child

If I was winning the Masters, I would not leave. First kid. I agree with you. First kid. First kid. I would first kid if I was winning the Masters. If I was winning the Masters, I would not leave.

I personally guarantee Kentucky will win a national title before Arkansas

I'll do my what's the Cavs owners name? Dan Gilbert. Sense. Personally guarantee it. Right. Personally guarantee... I just think Kentucky will be good. I think they'll be, they'll be fine immediately.

Donovan Clingan will make a three-pointer in the National Championship game

Bold prediction for Monday night. Okay. Donovan Clingan makes a three oh... I could see a high ball screen and instead a roll and he slips back and makes and makes Edey pay for going all the way down there.

Tiger Woods was better at golf when he was 'dirtier' and having more sex

Tiger was at his best when... the grip of his putter smelled like absolute shit from his hands. Perkins waitresses. The dirtier Tiger was the better golf. Yeah. When he was getting it in the hole. Now he's gonna not do, maybe he just can't have sex 'cause he like, he can't walk.

NC State will beat Purdue on the money line in the Final Four

The DJ Burns shirts we just put on sale are, are so far that I I have to bet NC State money line. Yeah. I have no choice. You know what? Fuck it. And rooting for Purdue is just so, so it's so fun to root against them. I just have to do it.

Approximately 27 to 30 NBA players could lead a 16-seed to a National Championship

I was gonna go like triple. Way more triple, triple that maybe. 30, maybe 40... guys in the NBA are so good, man. Yeah, yeah. Like you gotta automatically think bigs have an advantage 'cause it's college. So like the big is back, right? Yeah... We'll go with this. 27. 27.

Billy Football is a legitimate candidate for Congress and is taking it seriously

I regret to inform you Billy football is a hundred percent legitimately running for this seat. And my fire Fest is that I feel like Oppenheimer, that by, by putting this into motion, I've affected the course of the United States for the foreseeable future.

Moving the Oakland A's to Las Vegas should be illegal

It should be illegal. What he's doing, he's, he's taking away joy from an entire city... He's taking away the community because he wants to make a little bit more money. Even though this, this guy, he's, he's a fail son.

Babe Ruth would stink if he played in the MLB today

If you had Babe Ruth playing baseball today right now, he would stink... I think if you gave Babe Ruth this guy with immense physical talent, the ability to adjust, then he would be a really good baseball player. But if you took 1927 Babe Ruth and dropped him into the big leagues today, he'd be down in AAA.

Steroid users like Barry Bonds belong in the Hall of Fame

Barry Bonds is the best hitter I have ever seen. It's honestly, it's not even close... The Hall of Fame especially is not [sacred]. The Hall of Fame is a museum that should celebrate the good, bad, and ugly of the sport.

If UConn repeats as champions, they must be considered one of the best college basketball teams ever

But if they finish the job this upcoming weekend and Monday, they have to go in the conversation of Best College basketball teams of all time. Yeah. Like it, it has to be said.

Beyonce's 'Jolene' cover is not good and should be skipped

Beyonce's Jolene sucks. That's, she covered it on this album. She did it. And it's a skip. Oh, it's a big skip. It's skip. It's not good. Boy.

The Phillies hanging a banner for losing the NLCS is pathetic loser behavior

They didn't even win the division. They were like, they won nothing. They hung like, I don't know what, like... it's the most pathetic thing I've ever seen. I am. I might go, go to Citizen's Bank Park, scale that poll and take it down myself. All right.

Alabama is going to smoke Clemson in the Elite Eight

I think Alabama's gonna run [Clemson] out of the gym. It was a cute little win that Clemson had. You ran up against a team that couldn't make a three point shot. Alabama's gonna just score 120 points on you. I think Clots clock has struck midnight on the Clemson Tigers.

The MLB will eventually sweep the Shohei Ohtani gambling investigation under the rug

I do think the MLB's just gonna sweep it under the rug. Of course they [will]. It's like, it's almost done. I'm telling you. I think it might be done. They're gonna reinstate Pete Rose and they'll be like under the new rules Shohei did very little wrong.

The majority of players in the transfer portal will end up losing out long-term

At the end of the day, the majority of kids players I think are gonna lose out. Now, there'll be a few that it works out for, but the majority... we're gonna have over 2000 in the portal. And guys are now doing it two and three and even four times. Where are they gonna have to go back to later on? ... I honestly believe that, I think a lot of players are gonna make bad decisions and not learn how to fight through sometimes.

I believe Shohei Ohtani's story about Ippei Mizuhara stealing his money

Shohei, I believe him. I don't know why... but I just think like, I'm gonna believe him until they do the forensic accounting. I'm waiting for the forensic accounting to come out.

Caleb Williams having a pink phone and pink nails is cool and mascuine

Speaking of Caleb Williams, he's got a cool pink phone... He was at the USC game last night. He has a pink phone. Got people really upset. I say maybe think differently. He's so advanced. He knows that pink phones are cool... I've always said pink phones are the most masculine thing you can do.

The upcoming election cycle will swing the comedy pendulum back toward censorship and sensitivity

I think this election's gonna swing it back. It'll go back to being [sensitive]. It'll go back... It's gonna get hot on the streets.

I would trade the rights to Jay Wright for John Calipari to coach Villanova.

I do have a, a trade in place for the rights to Jay Wright for John Calipari. Well, yeah. 'Cause he is not gonna come back. So I'll give up the rights to get [Calipari].

Anyone who says Zach Edey is not good at basketball is a moron.

Anyone who says Zach Edey's not good at basketball is a fucking moron. The guy's good at basketball, especially college basketball. I don't want whatever happens to the NBA happens to the NBA... Anyone who says he is not good at basketball, he is just tall, is being a hater.

Caitlin Clark currently faces ten times more hate than Duke.

I don't even know how, how people have found this much hate in their heart for [Caitlin Clark] again. She she has like Duke Times 10 hate. Yeah. It's crazy.

Doug Pederson looks like a swinger in the NFL coaches photo.

Doug Peterson is, he looks like a swinger. Yeah. And I mean that in all, all due respect. All due respect. Because it looks like he just enjoys life.

MLB will avoid banning Shohei Ohtani because he is too valuable to the league's revenue

It seems to me like baseball, given how much money they stand to make from Ohtani, really does not want to have to treat Ohtani like they would anyone. Can you imagine if it was a utility player that paid off four and a half million dollars? How fast would that guy be banned for baseball for life?

Purdue will win the National Championship as a redemption story similar to Virginia in 2019

I love love, love love Purdue. Revenge... The UVA formula. And what, what didn't UVA win the next year? Yeah. It's happening again.

The John Calipari era at Kentucky is likely over after the loss to Oakland

I think this might be worse [than the St. Peters loss]. It's terrible. You know, lose to St. Peters and Oakland, two of the last three years, and I think probably the end of the Calipari era. There's a really good chance. I mean, I don't think it's certain, but I think a lot of the fans want that.

Wisconsin will make the Final Four

I have Wisconsin in the final four, Dan. I do, I do. I love what I've seen from them. I think Storr is an absolute difference maker. Chucky healthy is good... I genuinely feel this team has the goods. They're as versatile as any of these Wisconsin teams.

Tom Brady had Nick Foles' name edited out of the Patriots documentary out of pettiness

They showed the highlights of the Super Bowl with the Eagles won and on the Philly special, they played an edited version of Al Michael's play call... They edited out the word Foles. What? ... He fucking hates Nick Foles. And he had his name edited out of this Documentary.

Selection committees are bullshit and fans could do a better job

I'm convinced that all of these committees can be the job of the committees can be done better by like 75% of the fans... Just anyone who's been paying attention. I, I know for a fact I know college basketball guys who are way more informed about college basketball and who's good and who's bad than this stupid committee.

Joe Lunardi hates his job and should be replaced by Steve Kornacki

Joe Lunardi has to work three weeks a year and he said goodnight at 10:57 during conference championship week on Friday night when there was like six games left. What is up with this guy?... What he needs to realize is that with one snap of the fingers that freak Steve Kornacki could step into his job and do it better.

Caleb Williams is set up better than any number one overall pick in NFL history

I think the Caleb Williams might be set up better than any number one pick ever. And I know that sounds crazy because it's still the Bears... He now has a legitimate number one, he now has a legitimate number two in Keenan Allen. He has a top 10 tight end in Cole Kmet. He's got a running game... this is finally you've set up your future franchise quarterback to walk into a situation that he can succeed in.

Kyle Neptune is not a good basketball coach and has to go

Kyle Neptune sucks at coaching basketball. You are not crazy. He got absolutely worked by Shaka Smart. The fact that he didn't call a timeout with 30 seconds left in the game... That guy is not a good basketball coach. Jay Wright would've won that game. It was disgusting... Kyle Neptune's gotta go.