Takes

Paige Bueckers will be a better pro than Caitlin Clark

I still think Paige Bueckers gonna be a better pro. I know, I know, she, I think Paige is gonna be better.

Doc Rivers has won three games in a playoff series many times and doesn't get enough credit for it

When he [Doc Rivers] loses the three-one leads, he's won three games. That should be worth something. Like if you get up 28 to three against the Patriots of the Super Bowl, that should be worth something.

FIFA is not a corrupt organization

Anyone that was pointing a finger at Sep Blatter and saying that FIFA is corrupt... Guess what? You're wrong. He's been officially cleared. Fifa. It turns out plot twist, not corrupt. Everything's above board in FIFA.

The Wisconsin Badgers women's hockey team is a true dynasty

The Wisconsin Badgers women's hockey team won another national title. Four outta six years, eight total dominant. Dynasty for sure. That's the Dynasty.

Aaron Rodgers is repeating the Brett Favre path exactly

Aaron Rodgers... it is Cats in the Cradle with Brett Favre. He's just learning everything from [him] and he hated Brett Favre for it too. It's perfect.

Tiger Woods' career as a competitive golfer is over following his Achilles rupture

My Hot Seat is Tiger Woods... I don't know, but it's clutch foot. It's just injury after injury. It's over. It sucks, but it's over. It's probably over.

You can change an entire nation's perception of you just by knowing ball

Timothy Chalamet's proof that you can change an entire nation's perception of you by knowing Ball. If Osama Bin Laden would've declared his love for Miami Ohio's football program, we would've been like, you know, we can always just rebuild those towers.

Travis Hunter playing both ways is more impressive than Shohei Ohtani pitching and hitting

Travis Hunter at the combine said that him playing offense defense, it's harder than Shohei playing offense defense... Being a professional cornerback and a professional wide receiver at the same time playing in the same game... I think there's a better chance of another Shohei coming around than another Travis Hunter.

Pete Rose should be reinstated to MLB and the Hall of Fame because his 'lifetime' ban is technically over

It was a lifetime ban. Right. The operative word being life. Right. He's no longer alive. Right. He's dead. So the ban should have already been lifted.

The HBO show 'Hard Knocks' canceled its North Carolina season because fans were calling it 'Tar Knocks'

Do we think that the hit show 'Tar Knocks'—the naming of it—has maybe ended Hard Knocks at UNC?... Somebody from HBO listened to the show and was like, everyone's gonna be calling it Tar Knocks. We can't have this.

Timothy Chalamet will be one of the greatest actors ever

He won a SAG award and then I, I just liked, I liked his speech... He kind of was just like, yeah, I wanna be one of the greats. I'm going hard.

Rob Gronkowski is considering an NFL comeback with the Denver Broncos

Rob Gronkowski is considering a return to the NFL and that he would like to potentially play for the Denver Broncos... I'm told he loves Denver and Quarterback Bo Nix... He's gonna be a Bronco. There's no other way for him to do this than be a Bronco.

Caitlin Clark is paid what she is worth right now because she hasn't won a championship

I think that she's paid what she's worth right now. She gotta win the big one. ... She's never won a college national championship. Never won a WNBA national championship. ... Talk to me when she's got a chip. When she gets that ring.

The era of working from home is over

Working from home's done. I'm gonna say he's right. ... I fundamentally, I understand working from home is awesome for a lot of people, but I do think that you lose... the younger generation is gonna lose out. ... Not working with other people and having the coalescence of ideas... you will lose out.

The MLB must fire any umpire who shares a gambling account

The MLB had to fire a ref because he was umpire sharing — sorry, umpire. He was sharing a gambling account with another gambler who was gambling on baseball... even if the MLB was like, we don't even care about the whole betting part or the baseball thing, we can't have people employed by us who think it's okay to share a gambling account.

Kendrick Lamar vs Drake is the biggest blowout in subjective art history

That the Kendrick Drake thing turned into — obviously art is entirely in the eye of the beholder... but in this one thing where people can interpret it either any way they see fit, like this is as big of a blowout as you'll ever see. Ever.

The 'Underground Talent Railroad' transfer strategy is a genius college football idea

Let's create a network where we're all transparent with each other every fifth year. Each one of us can take its turn having the A team... PIT gets to have the 22 best players between the five programs... I don't hate it. I love it. I actually don't hate it at all. I love it.

Jimmy Butler is an absolute locker room cancer

I mean he's old and he's proven himself time and time again to just be an absolute locker room cancer can't even win.

The Warriors should have just resigned Klay Thompson and stayed old together

I don't even think like, this is why this revisionist history just fucking should have just resigned Klay and just gotten like, you have to pick a lane. Like just maybe just get old together. And just be like, all right. It was fun, but everyone got to stay together... if you know you're not gonna win again, just go nostalgia.

I will be rooting against the Chiefs in the Super Bowl

I will be rooting against the Chiefs in the Super Bowl, but I also respect this greatness. But I'm rooting, I'm telling you right now, I'm rooting against the Chiefs.

Jalen Milroe's small hands are a major problem for his draft stock

Jalen Milroe has insanely small hands. Eight and three fourth inches. To put it into perspective, it would be the smallest hands of any first round quarterback ever taken. And in 2022, only one starting NFL QB had his hand size under nine inches... and it was Taysom Hill. Not good.

Sports should normalize a 24-hour window for sore losers to act out

I think we need to normalize more like bad losers. Like let 'em, let 'em be sore losers for a minute... I think we should have like a 24-hour hour shock clock for big games fans and, and players alike that anything they, they should be able to say whatever they want and it shouldn't count long term.

Novak Djokovic is the undisputed GOAT of tennis

Carlos Alcaraz... he got fucking worked by Kovich the goat. Djokovic is 37 years old and I thought, big bad Carlos Alcaraz, no one can beat this guy. Not so fast.

Scott Hanson and NFL Red Zone are on the Hot Seat for airing commercials on a 'commercial-free' broadcast

My Hot Seat is Scott Hanson and NFL Red Zone... Their entire tagline for years since the beginning of Red Zone... Get ready for seven hours of commercial-free football. And on Sunday they ran commercials. They were like 30 seconds of commercial... you just completely rug pulled them.

The rumored Conor McGregor vs. Logan Paul boxing match will be a 'shitty money grab' that sucks

Conor McGregor tweeted that the rumors of about with Rio are false. I'm in preliminary agreements... to face Logan Paul in a boxing exhibition in India... It's probably gonna suck. I'm sick of it. This might be, so they fight someone who's actually like at the top of their game.

Doug Gottlieb is doing a bad job coaching Green Bay and should spend less time on social media

Jesus, Doug, a seven game losing streak in the last place in the Horizon League. Less time on social media, more time in the gym... I think he's, has he won a game in December... He's doing things like his way... sat [his best player] for the entire game even though they can't win a game right now.

Ultimate Dick Kicking is a better combat sport than Power Slap

We got a new combat sport that we have to start paying attention to guys, it's better than Power Slap. It's better than arm wrestling. It's the ultimate dick kicking championship. Two guys just stand across from each other and kick each other in the dicks until one guy gives up.

The Yankees lost Juan Soto because they were disrespectful regarding family suites

The Yankees lost out on a generational talent just because they were disrespectful... The Yankees wouldn't budge on giving Juan Soto a suite in Yankee Stadium saying that if they don't do it for Derek Jeter, they're not gonna do it for him.

The speed of Google's new quantum chip suggests we are likely living in a computer simulation

Google says that one of the world's current fastest supercomputers would take 10 septillion years to complete that same challenge that Google's chip did in less than five minutes... it actually lends credence to the, the theory that we are living in one of an infinite number of computer simulations right now.

Karl-Anthony Towns might actually be 'built like that' for the pressure of New York

Also Karl-Anthony Towns. He might be the perfect fit for New York. He had a big shot. He was repping it. Yeah. And the Knicks had been hot. Like Karl-Anthony Towns might be built like that.

I love the NBA Cup courts and the point differential incentive

I am a full NBA cup guy... The courts I love. I like something different. I also love the fact, and this is probably because I like to gamble on overs that teams are playing for point differential. That makes it fun.

The Bears fired Matt Eberflus because Jalen Johnson told him to shut up

Jalen Johnson basically told Eberflus to fuck off in front of the whole team after the Lions game. And that was the moment where they're like, oh, we should maybe fire this guy.

Jake Paul vs Mike Tyson is going to be Billy vs Canseco — a huge disappointment where the older fighter gets hurt early

I feel like these fights are always disappointing. And this one I still feel like it will be. But that quote got me fired up and I am hoping I go on social media and see [Tyson] knock him the fuck out. It's gonna be Billy versus Canseco.

Wedding guests should give a minimum of $100 — paying for your meal and drinks is the baseline

A hundred bucks is the minimum you give at a wedding. You gotta pay for your meal and the drinks. That's kind of what you do. $10 is — I would fucking send that back to the person.

Klay Thompson is going to go nuts in his first game back at Golden State — taking every Klay over

I'm just gonna take every single Klay Thompson over. First time back in Golden State. He's gonna go nuts.

The NBA Slam Dunk Contest should be replaced by a Layup Contest

I think they should do a layup contest instead of slam dunk contest. [Ja Morant's 360 layup] was sick... I thought to myself like, with enough practice I could possibly do that. Also not true. But it still made me think.

Juan Soto will sign a contract worth $700 million

I think he's gonna get 700 million. Yeah... I think he's gonna get a stupid amount of money. But the fact that the way he's going about it just means that like, yeah, it doesn't, he doesn't give a fuck who's giving him this money.

Doc Rivers is on the Hot Seat because the Bucks have no identity

My Hot Seat is Doc Rivers... They are one in three on the season 18 and 22 in the Doc Rivers era. Mm. And Giannis was talking in the post game and said, right now we don't have an identity... How are we gonna win the game? ... No identity's bad.

Minnesota has the coolest collection of athletes of the last 20 years

Minnesota Sports because they recreated the old Randy Moss KG picture with Anthony Edwards and Justin Jefferson. And I know Minnesota sports are sad state, don't win things, but they might have like the coolest collection of athletes in the last 20 years, like compared to anyone else. They had KG, they had Randy Moss, they have Anthony Edwards, they have Justin Jefferson. They had Joe Mauer.

I am 100% confident the Washington Wizards will get Cooper Flagg

All I'm saying is I've never been as confident. I've never been as confident in my life of anything as the fact that the wizards are gonna get Cooper Flagg. I'm willing to tell you right now, I will stand on this hill and I will plant my representative banner to say that we're getting Flagg.

The Ryder Cup pricing is a mistake that ruins home field advantage

People are very upset about the prices for the upcoming Ryder Cup. Next summer at Bethpage... it's $750 for a day. Normally I would say golf fans probably have expendable money... but this is such a fuck you and a mistake to trying to get a home field advantage. If you price out rowdy New Yorkers who want to go to the Ryder Cup and scream heinous shit at all the Europeans, you've completely ruined this.

The Chargers at 45-to-1 to win the Super Bowl is an incredible value

I've decided to put a future on the Chargers to win the Super Bowl. They're 45-to-1. I don't think they're gonna win the Super Bowl. I do think we'd get in a spot where they get to the playoffs and we could potentially hedge. This is Jim Harbaugh's team. This is Jim Harbaugh's football team. I think they're gonna get to 10 wins.

Bob Costas is horrible at broadcasting baseball and should stop

Bob Costas... He just sounded, he's broadcasting the Yankees-Royals series and he sounds horrible... He has all the money. He doesn't need to do it. I don't get why he chooses to do it.

Christian McCaffrey might retire due to his Achilles injuries

The walls at Barstool Sports have been saying... Christopher McCaffrey might retire. Double Achilles tendonitis is not good... he's definitely not gonna play this season.

Adam Schefter will become the Ultimate Insider covering both NFL and NBA

Adam Schefter could be a candidate to replace Woj... In this scenario, Schefter would cover both the NFL and NBA as what a source called the Ultimate Insider... there's nothing you can do when someone says, Hey, you wanna be the ultimate insider?

Diddy killed Biggie Smalls

Diddy's a bad guy. And my take, I don't, this isn't like an a wildly original one. I think Diddy killed Biggie. Think about it. Think about it... when Biggie died, you remember Diddy was like all over tv. He did that. The video. I'll be missing you. Yeah. Like that he made his entire career about Yeah. Biggie. That is something that a psychopath killer would do.

Ben Simmons is officially back to playing at an All-Star level

Ben Simmons reportedly is in camp and or at least training. He says Ben Simmons is back to playing all star talent level basketball. Get ready for this boys big season loading... I think this is the year, this is the year for Ben.

The Celtics are attacking the next title rather than defending the old one

Joe Mazzulla, Celtics coach, was doing an interview and they asked him about how he feels about defending the title and he basically just took down the term forever. He said the phrase 'defending a title' is a very passive-aggressive term. If you look at the animal kingdom, some of the strongest animals don't defend—they're the most aggressive and they attack the most. So we're attacking the title.

Nikocado Avocado's two-year weight loss reveal was a genius strategy

He's been posting videos for the last two years where he's large... then this week he posted a reveal stating that he prerecorded two years worth of mukbangs and has been putting them out periodically and just losing all the weight... this is actually incredible.

Deshaun Watson is a disgusting human being who also happens to stink at quarterback

Either he is the victim of the biggest, most coordinated, most ruthless smear campaign against an individual maybe in the history of sports, or he's a disgusting human being who should be in jail. Either way he stinks at quarterback.