Takes

Ludvig Åberg will win multiple major championships in his lifetime

Oberg will win. I'm calling my shot. Oh, yeah, [Åberg] is gonna win multiple major championships in his lifetime. But Scottie was just too good.

Scottie Scheffler will win the 2024 U.S. Open with his new baby

All that means is he's gonna have the kid and then he's definitely gonna win the US open 100% with a new baby. That's gonna be the picture. That's him holding his new baby on the tee or on the green of the 18th hole. The US Open wherever. Oh, it's Pinehurst, right? Yep. It is Pinehurst.

The Orlando Magic will beat the Cleveland Cavaliers in the first round of the NBA playoffs

I like the magic in the first round. Ooh little small upset there over the Cavs.

The Sixers will beat the Heat, the Knicks, and the Bucks in the 2024 NBA playoffs

I like the Sixers to beat the heat. I also like the Sixers to beat the Knicks Ooh. And then I like the Sixers to beat the Bucks. I do actually like that the Knicks like tried because I think that there you should, you should have some pride and be like, we're not ducking anyone.

The Celtics will walk through the Eastern Conference because no team in the East is a concern

I'm excited. I'm very excited. Very, very excited. Championship or bust. No, no. I mean I, I like, I would like to beat the heat just for, you know, the storyline's sake, but I'm not concerned about 'em. I think we would roll. There's no one that, that that worries you.

The Denver Nuggets will beat the Boston Celtics in five games in the 2024 NBA Finals

What do we have for the finals is nuggets versus Celtics nuggets. Celtics nuggets over Celtics and five.

The Celtics will beat the Suns in five games in the 2024 NBA Finals

I'm gonna go Celtics over sons. In five. Dreaming then. Yo pitch Scottie. Scheffler. I'm just dreaming about not having to play the nuggets and just dominating the suns in five.

The 76ers will beat the Clippers in six games in the 2024 NBA Finals

Sixers over Clippers and six.

The 2024 Masters feels like it is Scotty Scheffler's destiny to win

Scotty Scheffler does just look like it's a destiny. It looks like he is locked in on all accounts.

John Calipari will be a successful coach at Arkansas

Cal's gonna win it at Arkansas. He's gonna be a good coach in Arkansas. It's a good basketball school.

Tiger Woods will not make the cut at the 2024 Masters

Tiger's not making the cut this year. I mean, think about the Masters is though... he might. I think Tiger probably 50-50, right?

Ludvig Åberg is a future true superstar built in a lab

This Ludvig guy from Sweden's my new favorite golfer. He's just built in a lab. Perfect swing, stallion, 6'3". I think he's gonna end up being a true superstar.

The Dallas Stars are the best team in the NHL and a strong Stanley Cup future bet

If anyone else is gonna get it done, I think Dallas is okay. If you want to make a future bet, Dallas... Dallas is the best team in the league.

Zach Edey will definitely be a first-round NBA draft pick

He'll be drafted for sure and he'll probably be drafted in the first round. Someone will take a shot at it and just be like, what, you know, see if we can work with this.

I personally guarantee Kentucky will win a national title before Arkansas

I'll do my what's the Cavs owners name? Dan Gilbert. Sense. Personally guarantee it. Right. Personally guarantee... I just think Kentucky will be good. I think they'll be, they'll be fine immediately.

The US will be under a massive cyber attack sooner rather than later

I suggest you take out all your money outta your bank and stop using credit cards for the next few months until I can give you the green light again. We will be under a cyber attack sooner rather than later. Just looking out, I'm in communication with the very important person for one of, if not the biggest software companies in the world.

Donovan Clingan will make a three-pointer in the National Championship game

Bold prediction for Monday night. Okay. Donovan Clingan makes a three oh... I could see a high ball screen and instead a roll and he slips back and makes and makes Edey pay for going all the way down there.

UConn will beat Purdue 83-70 in the National Championship game

UConn 83 Purdue. 70 83 70.

The eclipse and the CERN particle collider will send us into the fourth dimension

They're turning CERN on the day of the eclipse. And I believe the research is they're trying to reach a fourth dimension... Once the the moon covers the sun when it comes back, like we'll be in the fourth dimension. Like everything will be different.

NC State will beat Purdue on the money line in the Final Four

The DJ Burns shirts we just put on sale are, are so far that I I have to bet NC State money line. Yeah. I have no choice. You know what? Fuck it. And rooting for Purdue is just so, so it's so fun to root against them. I just have to do it.

UConn will beat Iowa because Gino Auriemma has a better game plan for Caitlin Clark

I actually, I think UConn's gonna beat [Iowa] though, because I think Gino, like, if you watch the second game, Gino had a game plan for Juju Watkins that Kim Mulkey just didn't have for Caitlin.

Providence fans will successfully gaslight Ed Cooley into addressing his fake resignation

I actually think if there's one fan base that could get someone to be like, wait, am I resigning? It's the Providence basketball fan base... he has to do a press conference saying he's not resigning. That at least has to happen.

The Shohei Ohtani investigation will take a long time to resolve

I think it's gonna be a long time... This is such a tiny little speck of a much larger investigation that's going on right now into this alleged illegal gambling ring in Southern California... Major League baseball doesn't wanna step on the toes of federal investigators.

The next 'Moneyball' is figuring out how to keep pitchers healthy

Figuring out how to keep pitchers healthy is the holy grail of Major League baseball. And the first team that can truly figure out how to do it is going to win championships because of it. Now the problem is, I don't know if that's an achievable goal.

I'm getting a gambling turtle named Mr. Pear to make picks on the show

I like it done. Mr. Pear. Mr. Pear... we'll stamp the slices of pears with the different logos. Yeah. And that will be, that will be how he picks his games. Which pair Mr. Pear. And we should never discipline him. Never.

The Yankees have already won the World Series after their opening sweep of Houston

I'd just like to be the first to congratulate Jake's New York Yankees on winning the World Series. Yeah. Four game sweep in Houston. Congrats. Jake. Juan Soto got his pinstripes. New era.

Alabama is going to smoke Clemson in the Elite Eight

I think Alabama's gonna run [Clemson] out of the gym. It was a cute little win that Clemson had. You ran up against a team that couldn't make a three point shot. Alabama's gonna just score 120 points on you. I think Clots clock has struck midnight on the Clemson Tigers.

The MLB will eventually sweep the Shohei Ohtani gambling investigation under the rug

I do think the MLB's just gonna sweep it under the rug. Of course they [will]. It's like, it's almost done. I'm telling you. I think it might be done. They're gonna reinstate Pete Rose and they'll be like under the new rules Shohei did very little wrong.

A first-time World Series winner will be crowned in 2024

I have a future that I put in DraftKings that I liked a lot. First time World Series winner. Okay. So either the Rockies, Brewers, Padres, Mariners or Rays... it's pods and rays.

The Rangers will beat the Dodgers in the World Series

I'll go Rangers over Dodgers.

I am betting against the Oakland Athletics -1.5 in every game of the 2024 season

Big Cat and I have decided to fade the athletics every single game. Yep. So we're putting a unit on the athletics every time they play 162 times a year, we're betting against them. Wake up. Bet against the athletics, sleep, profit, repeat. Minus one and a half every single game.

Purdue has the best chance to win the title because of the motivation from losing to a 16-seed last year

I think Purdue has the best chance because of what happened to 'em last year. They've got the best rallying point and they've got a player of the year. And to deal with [Zach Edey] on a second day is hard.

A big NFL game will be decided by a hip drop tackle penalty this year

The first reason in my mind is we have just added a rule that is going to be debated similar to can't land on the quarterback. There will be a big, big game decided by the hip drop. Because what is it, what's the penalty now? Is it 15 yards?

The upcoming election cycle will swing the comedy pendulum back toward censorship and sensitivity

I think this election's gonna swing it back. It'll go back to being [sensitive]. It'll go back... It's gonna get hot on the streets.

Notre Dame will go 11-1 this season and then get smoked in the playoffs

But you see the schedule, they're probably [going] 11 and one. And then get fucking smoked in the playoffs against somebody.

UConn will definitely win the National Championship.

I wanna be very clear. Yukon is going to win the National Championship.

The USMNT must reach the World Cup quarterfinals in 2026 or it is a massive disappointment.

I'm still, I'm staying my prediction that we need to make it, if we don't make it to at least the quarter finals in the next World Cup. Massive disappointment.

Michigan basketball will return to prominence quickly under Dusty May.

Recurring guest Dusty May is going from FAU to Ann Arbor... I think they're gonna be back quickly.

The winner of Oakland vs. NC State will be the story of the tournament heading into the Sweet 16

What the winner of that game [Oakland vs. NC State] is going to be the talk of the week leading up to Sweet 16 because it'll be a great story either way.

Purdue will win the National Championship as a redemption story similar to Virginia in 2019

I love love, love love Purdue. Revenge... The UVA formula. And what, what didn't UVA win the next year? Yeah. It's happening again.

The John Calipari era at Kentucky is likely over after the loss to Oakland

I think this might be worse [than the St. Peters loss]. It's terrible. You know, lose to St. Peters and Oakland, two of the last three years, and I think probably the end of the Calipari era. There's a really good chance. I mean, I don't think it's certain, but I think a lot of the fans want that.

Wisconsin will make the Final Four

I have Wisconsin in the final four, Dan. I do, I do. I love what I've seen from them. I think Storr is an absolute difference maker. Chucky healthy is good... I genuinely feel this team has the goods. They're as versatile as any of these Wisconsin teams.

The Boston Celtics will not win the NBA Title

[PFT: Are Hank's Celtics gonna win the NBA title?] No. I want it to be Denver Boston, because that's what I want in the NBA... But I don't see Boston beating Denver because [Jokic is] the best player.

UConn will defeat Tennessee to win the National Championship

My final four... I have UConn, North Carolina, Tennessee, and Wisconsin. [PFT: Who do you have in your finals?] UConn, Tennessee... And then UConn winning it all.

Ohio State will beat Villanova in the NIT championship

I just filled out my, my NIT bracket. Shout out NIT stew. I've got Ohio State beating Villanova in the finals.

North Carolina will win the 2024 National Championship

North Carolina. So shout out to the Howard Wagner.

Wisconsin is in trouble against James Madison

I've looked through the Wisconsin James Madison game in depth. I think Wisconsin's fucked... I'm being completely honest and unbiased that like, this is a bad matchup.

Houston will win the 2024 National Championship

I have Houston win at all in my bracket. Houston is my national champion... I think they can score and I just don't, I don't think they're gonna lose to inferior teams. And I don't think there are a lot of teams that are, that are better than Houston.

Duquesne will upset BYU in the first round

My upset in this region is Duquesne beating BYU in an 11-6. I think we have to remember this and you guys get this. BYU for the most part was a team that was recruited to play in the West Coast Conference. And now you have a team in Duquesne who just won the Atlantic 10.

UConn will repeat as National Champions

I've got Yukon out of the region of Gladiators... I like Yukon over Purdue, Clingan against Edey, a Battle of the Titans in the title game, and Yukon led by Dan Hurley... becoming the first back-to-back national champion since Florida in 2006 and 2007.