Takes

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is a fantastic movie

The new one [Jurassic World] is fucking great... It's fantastic. I'm not in it... I'm hoping that they put me in the third one.

Pam Beesly is the worst character on The Office

Very telling that no one has taken Pam [in the draft]... Yeah, Pam's the worst. Pam's the worst.

The United States should build an Autobahn with no speed limits

I think we're missing out on an Autobahn, and there's a lot of places that you could put it and just do away with the speed limit.

The day after the Super Bowl must be a national holiday

Day after Super Bowl has got to be a national holiday. That's really actually exactly what I would say if I ever stepped foot in the White House.

The national drinking age should be lowered to 18

I'd make the drinking age 18... Because everyone's drinking when they're 18 anyway, so why not just make it legal?

Federal legalization of marijuana is an absolute 'layup' for the U.S.

Federally legalized marijuana. I mean, we're halfway there... I think one day we'll look back and look at this like prohibition and it'll look really fucking stupid.

Politicians who ignored the Flint water crisis deserve severe corporal punishment

Every politician that turned a blind eye to Flint, Michigan, should have their teeth knocked out with a steelhead fence post driver.

Men should never prioritize dates or partners over spending time with friends on a Saturday

My fourth law is simple. It's just bros before hosts... if we're just trying to chill with the boys, don't be like, 'oh, I'm going on a date with my girlfriend.' Especially if it's a Saturday.

NFL players miss out on all the fun parts of the fall because of the schedule

All the cool shit happens on a fall Saturday night. All my buddies hit me up and I get the worst FOMO sitting in the hotel... I could have been having a drink with Kenny Powers [Danny McBride] and I'm in a hotel [in Buffalo].

Partnering with someone who cheats on their wife is a bad business move

Somebody said to me, man, don't be partners with somebody who would cheat like that because he'll screw you in a heartbeat... I went into business with the guy... he ripped me off over 500 grand.

People with the biggest egos usually have the thinnest wallets

Ever notice that people with the biggest ego have the thinnest fucking wallet? Because he doesn't listen to anybody. His ego gets in the way, they're typically not very successful.

Sitting on a winning bet ticket is one of the best feelings in the world

My number four will be when you're sitting on a winning bet ticket. So like when you bet the Capitals and win the Stanley Cup and you know that it's our year and you're just like, I have $1,500 free money.

I would rather be 'bad on a good team' than a star on a bad team

I was on good teams, and I was bad. And I stuck around good teams that were bad for so long. Most guys, they're getting their shot and then they're out of the league. But I was like bad on good teams. ... Your moment can come at any time and you have to be able to deliver.

Modern NBA GMs prefer gambling on high-upside rookies over reliable role players

GMs nowadays are looking for, like, the next greatest thing. They'll try like an 18-year-old, see if it works. If it doesn't, they'll try another. They're not going to stick with the solid guy because that's not going to help them get eventually a steal in the second round.

Tom Thibodeau doesn't understand how to manage minutes in February

Thibodeau hasn't really kind of figured that out sometimes, whereas the Bulls will always play, you know, under the Thibs Bulls, they would always play really hard every single night, max effort. But sometimes you don't need max effort in February.

The 'Minutes Police' are wrong; Tom Thibodeau is actually a great bench coach

In the regular season, you [Thibodeau] are such a good coach that you can play any five guys and you guys can win. ... You are too good of a coach to ride your starters. Real good coaching comes in is maximizing your bench. And I think that he is such a good coach. He could do that.

Danny Ainge's goal is to beat LeBron James, not sign him

I think Danny Ainge's whole life has been about beating LeBron... Since he got to Boston, LeBron has, you know, pseudo been in the league. How do you overtake this guy?... But he doesn't want LeBron to join. He wants to beat him.

Ben Simmons' inability to shoot doesn't bother me because he's elite at everything else

It doesn't bother me that [Ben Simmons] can't shoot. He does so many other things well. Can he get to the basket and can he pass? ... Most of the NBA cannot match up with Ben Simmons. ... I'm never worried about that if I'm Philly.

Rookies should invest all their money into their bodies and skills rather than the market

My advice to them would be invest as much money into yourself, your body, your food. Focus on becoming a better player because there's nothing in the world that's going to be a better return on your investment than making yourself a better player. That second contract... you're worth $100 million.

The Mets should call up Tim Tebow immediately

Come on, Mets, just bring Tebow up this year. You're not going to do anything else... Tebow Tuesdays. I like it. With the Mets.

I will never race Darren Rovell in a marathon

Darren Rovell has challenged me to a marathon. It is the dumbest challenge ever... You could triple dog, quadruple dog, infinity dog dare me to run a marathon, and I'll just sit there and be like, no, because it looks awful.

Messi is the GOAT

[Speaker 0] (3:25-3:27) And Messi is the GOAT.

The Messi vs. Ronaldo debate is more contentious than LeBron vs. Jordan because they play at the same time

This debate [Messi vs. Ronaldo] I would say is like a little bit more contentious actually. Because they're playing at the same time. And they play against each other sometimes. So I don't like that as much as the hypothetical debates, because you can twist all the facts around.

Taking a game on the road and ripping the heart out of the opponent's fans is the best feeling in sports

Taking a game on the road and ripping your opponent's heart out in front of their fans, there's nothing like it in all the sports.

The PGA Tour is ridiculous for investigating Bryson DeChambeau for using a compass

[Speaker 1] (16:38-16:41) My hot seat is Bryson DeChambeau. [Speaker 1] (16:41-16:47) The PGA Tour is investigating him and trying to figure out whether it was legal of him to use a compass or not. [Speaker 1] (16:48-16:49) What century are we in? [Speaker 3] (17:16-17:21) I love this that it's a compass is now an illegal tool in golf.

Dak Prescott clearly didn't want to be interviewed

Let's just say, Dak, I think he was okay. He just clearly didn't want to be interviewed. And then, well, you'll see.

Playing a road game in the SEC is harder than playing a road game in the NFL

[Speaker 2] (34:31-34:32) Oh, I don't know. [Speaker 2] (34:32-34:33) Probably playing a road game in the SEC. [Speaker 2] (34:33-34:38) SEC is just a little bit louder, more passionate fans.

Auburn has one of the best night game atmospheres in the SEC

[Speaker 2] (35:01-35:07) But I'll tell you, Auburn has something about it that was just always a fun atmosphere, a great atmosphere. [Speaker 2] (35:07-35:12) The fans are eye-level with you, and that can be an incredible game at night as well.

Jerry Jones is great and nobody dislikes him

Jerry Jones is a great owner. I don't think he'll find anybody that works or plays for the Dallas Cowboys that dislikes Jerry Jones. He's great.

I don't have any questions for you guys

No, I don't.

The hardest part about being a pro athlete is that it's a job

I mean, it's a job. We work strenuous hours. Watching film, putting what we put our body through. I think sometimes they think, oh, they just get to play a game that they love. It's a kid's game, but it's a business, and it's treated that way.

If I wasn't playing football I'd be promoting Ready Raise Rise full-time

Maybe something like I'm doing today, knowing how near and dear cancer is in my heart. Maybe it's just continue to promote Ready Raise Rise and figuring out a way to try to defeat this cancer.

My favorite color is gray — all different shades of gray

[Speaker 2] (46:32) Gray. [Speaker 2] (46:46-46:48) Yeah, gray. All different shades of gray.

Gray might be the craziest answer Dak has given all interview

That actually might be the craziest answer you've given. That's gray? What? Gray?

Julian Edelman is innocent until proven guilty regarding his PED suspension

[Speaker 0] (11:15-1:16:00) Now, with that said, we are still standing by the fact that Julian Edelman is innocent. [Speaker 0] (1:16:00-1:16:02) Last I checked in this country, you're innocent until proven guilty.

A hot dog or sausage at a stadium is incomplete without grilled onions

You can't get a hot dog or a sausage in a stadium without doing the grilled onions. I'll walk to the ends of earth. There'll be one stand that has grilled onions. You've got to get to that stand. If you don't do that, you're just a rookie.

Cracker Jacks are the coleslaw of candy

Cracker Jacks are the coleslaw of candy. They're good for like a handful. Yeah, and nobody really likes it. It's more about the visual of walking around with a thing of Cracker Jacks.

The best stadium food is anything you can throw the shell or remains of on the floor

The best is just any food that you can eat and then throw away. Throw away the shell of it and you don't give a shit.

Carmelo Anthony has staying power because he has the coolest basketball name ever

Have you guys heard the theory why he [Carmelo Anthony] has so much staying power? It's just because he has the coolest basketball name of all time. Like if his name was like John Brown, he would have been benched years ago.

Women prefer 'soccer bodies' over any other male physique

I know you remember the dad bod thing that women pretended, like, oh yeah, we love guys who are kind of fat and don't care. That was so nice of them. But really, when it comes down to it, if you ask a woman, I guarantee you they go soccer bod over any other bod.

Michael Jordan is the GOAT, followed closely by Kobe Bryant

I still have to give it to MJ. With a close Kobe second. It's hard for me playing the game right now to give a guy [LeBron James] that crown because I'm still in the game. And he's still in the game, too. I cannot do that.

Super teams threaten to water down the NBA

The only thing I just hope that doesn't happen is the league becomes watered down because so many teams are trying to create a super team to where you have 10 teams of the 30 having all the best players. And then what does that do with the rest of the league? Everyone else is tanking. That just hurts the NBA at the end of the day.

Super teams only work if stars are willing to be unselfish for the bigger picture

Everybody tries to create the Golden State Warriors basketball team. But the problem is you have to have the guys that are willing to still be the stars that they are, but unselfish. Those guys are unselfish... You put your ego aside for winning. If you can't get guys to buy in, it's not happening.

Allen Iverson was the toughest player I ever had to guard

[Question: Toughest guy to guard?] Allen Iverson.

The NFL is right to refuse Laurent Duvernay-Tardif's request to put 'MD' on his jersey

Laurent Duvernay-Tardif finishes medical school... and asked the NFL he could put MD on the back of his uniform and they said no. I agree with them. Too many doctors, and we might start figuring out what concussions are like. This isn't the National Medical League, okay? This is football.

Adrian Wojnarowski is bigger than the NBA and ESPN can't touch him

It's like ESPN is not going to do shit to him. No. Because he's Woj. He's bigger than the league. Technically, he didn't tip any picks. No, he just said that they're unlikely to pass on them.

Philip Rivers is a better quarterback than Eli Manning

Philip Rivers, better quarterback than Eli Manning. Much better. Better career. More viral. I know the two Super Bowls... statisticaly, better quarterback.

Michael Porter Jr.'s hip injury is more concerning than his back injury

I'm more worried about the hip injury. I think hip is – and that's maybe just a recency bias because IT [Isaiah Thomas] just kind of stopped playing basketball. But if you're 18 years old and you've got a hip and you've got a back on your resume already – yeah, you basically can't play – you can't play sports.

The best you will ever see Mo Bamba is the first time you lay eyes on him

Our friend Matt Jones from Kentucky Sports Radio... had a great line about Mo Bamba. He said the best... The best you'll ever see Mo Bamba is the first time you lay eyes on him. Because then from that moment on, you're like, wait, he can't really play basketball?

I would have chosen to sign with the Bulls even if I were a free agent

I thought I would choose Chicago if it was a free agency like... Fred [Hoiberg] is a great coach and they don't have, you know, a lot of bigs so it would be like a perfect situation for me.