Takes

LeBron James is the second-best basketball player of all time

I also feel like we've done at least an okay job respecting the fact that he is an insane, insane basketball talent who is, you know, people will say he is the best of all time. I have him too. Which is, and I think the gap between two and three is huge.

The 2023-2024 Boston Celtics are in a 'Championship or Bust' year

The Celtics have been, they've been to a final, they've been to some conference finals. You have to win it all this year. Yeah. If you don't, it's a failure.

The 'American MVP' is dead in the NBA

We have an MVP problem with Americans. We don't win MVPs anymore. We have not won an MVP this decade since [2018]. We haven't won an MVP and I don't know where our next MVP's coming from.

The Patriots documentary 'The Dynasty' is a hit piece on Bill Belichick designed to help Robert Kraft

This documentary, I think it's having the reverse effect that Robert Kraft thought it was gonna have. ... It's so clearly slanted towards Robert Kraft, but it's so, so slanted towards Robert Kraft that it's completely making me hate Robert Kraft and unnecessarily like they're going over the top to Slan it. They blamed Aaron Hernandez on Bill Belichick. Yeah. And basically made it like Robert Kraft was trying to save him.

Engagement parties for men are 'a joke' and 'bullshit'

Engagement Party's a joke guy for guys. For guys. Yeah. Yeah. That's a fucking joke. Engagement party is the most optional thing in the world. Engagement party is a fucking bullshit thing that no one should even have or be invited to.

AI and Hawkeye technology for NFL first downs will make the sport less fun

I don't like it at all. ... People are always like, oh, we're we're measuring like this billion dollar industry with a chain and sticks held by old retired guys on the sideline. Yeah. That's part of why it rocks. ... If you put AI into sports and you make robot umps and robot referees, you are depriving men of somewhere between 50 and 75% of the conversations they have with each other. ... What the fuck are we gonna talk about?

Robot officials and AI will ruin sports by removing 75% of male conversation

If you put AI into sports and you make robot umps and robot referees, you are depriving men of somewhere between 50 and 75% of the conversations they have with each other. You can't do that. The world will crumble if we can't complain about the refs. What the fuck are we gonna talk about? Nothing.

The NFL should never remove the 'sneak attack' onside kick

I don't like the onside kick thing where you can only do it when you're down and you have to declare that you're doing it. ... The sneak attack, onside kick is awesome. We shouldn't take that away.

I prefer Drake Maye's 'toughness' and 'swag' over Caleb Williams

[Between Drake Maye and Caleb Williams] I would say Drake. He just had a little more swag, looked a little tougher. And so like, I've kind of been drawn to more toughness. ... Maybe you guys like khakis, I don't know, that's not my thing.

I'd rather be on the Super Bowl stage every year, even if I lose

Playing in the Super Bowl is as fun as it gets. And so I'd rather be on that stage every motherfucking year. And to be put yourself out there to do it and like I very much look forward to proving that moment to go win it.

NFL owners who purchase their teams provide better facilities than those who inherit them

Nine out of the top 10... excluding the Packers, were teams that the owner purchased the team. And then all the bad [NFLPA] grades essentially were teams where the owners inherited the team, basically fail sons and daughters who are driving whatever they inherited into the ground.

You don't want your players to like their strength and conditioning coach

I don't think I'd want my players to give my strength and conditioning coach an A because don't you want like that guy to be the hardest person in the world on you? I think like, you kind of want to hate your strength coach a little bit, right? Like maybe you don't want an F but it getting like a C plus or a B, you want that guy to like push you to be super, super uncomfortable all the time.

NFL players hate their locker rooms because college facilities have spoiled them

My theory is that college locker rooms have gotten so out of control good that it's a step back when you go to the NFL. Like college coaches should be like, 'Yeah, you can go pro and make millions of dollars, but you don't get the barber chair.'

Rob Gronkowski is the second greatest New England Patriot of all time

This player came in, changed everything, just vibes wise. He, he, you know, I think I was 18 or 19 when he, when he signed with the team. So as an 18, 19-year-old, he was everything. Rob Gronkowski, Gronk, spike, freaking nature, the most fun player, you know, non Tom Brady. Greatest tight end of all time. I think he might be the easiest player to root for if you're a fan of that team.

The S2 cognition test is effectively out of business after the C.J. Stroud evaluation error

[The S2 guys] are out of business right now... could it ever have been more wrong on one guy ever? ... [Bryce Young] tested off the charts and... it's bad.

The Texans likely would have drafted Bryce Young if they had the #1 pick in 2023

If the Texans had lost that game and gotten the number one pick in that Draft, if that had happened, I think they might've taken Bryce Young. And I don't know if they would've traded the pick, which means Chicago wouldn't have Caleb Williams, which means they wouldn't be shopping Justin Fields this year.

I am going to pimp out Vanny Woodhead and bring the van back to life in Chicago

We are going to get Vanny to Chicago. We have, we're in a different financial situation than we were six years ago. So I'm gonna probably put some money into this Vanny, pimp it out, figure out how to make it technically exist again. And now we'll have Vanny back in our lives. Like this trip to Indy would've been a perfect, let's just hop in Vanny. Yeah. So we're I Vanny is back.

Tedy Bruschi is the #3 all-time Patriot

Number three... Heart and Soul of the defense... Legend. Teddy Bruski.

Grown men getting ice cream by themselves is actually great

Do you know grown men who go get ice cream by themselves? I don't. It's very strange. [Big Cat responding to Clay Travis quote] Literally all the time I get ice cream. I'm gonna do that as a protest tonight. I'm gonna get ice cream by myself... Ice cream by yourself is actually great.

UMass moving to the MAC is great for 'MACtion' and weeknight football

My cool Throne is Mion, we're getting more Mion because UMass is getting added, which means more games back... more weeknight football eventually.

Patrick Kane is the greatest American-born hockey player ever

Patrick Kane's gonna go down when he Retires as the best American born player of all time. I still think that there's potential room for Matthews to maybe overtake that Throne... but for now, let's give Patrick Kane his flowers.

I am taking a hiatus from breaking news because of the emotional toll of the Mike Babcock story

As far as my breaking stories and breaking news, I'm gonna probably take a hiatus for a few years after the emotional [toll]... it was a pretty nerve-wracking situation breaking that news.

Fans don't belong on the court ever and players don't belong in the stands ever

my perspective is fans don't belong on the court ever. And players don't belong in the stands ever. That's, I don't think that's a controversial thing.

NIL should have no rules and operate like normal business with multi-year contracts

There wouldn't be any rules. I would have it operate just like normal business does... the schools could just pay the athletes directly... they would sign the players to multi-year contracts... It's really not that difficult. And that way the transfer portal's not as big of an issue.

Paying players directly will spread talent around college sports, not concentrate it at the top schools

I differ with that viewpoint. I think most reasonable economists would tell you that's not how it's going to work. What being able to pay is going to do is spread talent around more. It is not gonna concentrate talent... Talent will be spread around. We've already seen it with NIL.

Would have tasered the dog that ran on a basketball court in Chile

I would've tasered the dog. And then euthanized the owner.

Would have 'clubbed that dog like a baby seal' to stop court storming

I would've clubbed that dog like a baby seal that all would've stopped.

Josh Schertz at Indiana State is a top 3 schematic coach in the country

Josh Schertz at Indiana State would be number one... It's like watching a European Pro team that's been together for a long time. It's just magnificent.

I don't need an agreement to disagree — why can't we just disagree?

I've never understood what that means. Why can't we just disagree? I don't need an agreement to disagree.

Korean BBQ is a great restaurant concept because you don't have to do the dishes

Dishes. You don't have to do the dishes. The dishes is what the worst part about cooking at home is... and it will change everything in your brain.

There should be a 'free fight' rule allowing players to defend themselves against court-storming fans

I think like if there should be a rule that if you're a player and a fan comes at you, you can just go hog wild on 'em. Free the free fight rule that I've had for a very long time. Let the players have a free fight.

Rick Pitino is good for the sport of college basketball

You have to like Rick Pitino, he's good for college basketball. Show, I mean, win. Yes. I respect Rick when he's wearing the white suit. This guy doesn't understand that. We like Rick Pitino.

Julian Edelman is the 4th greatest New England Patriot of all time

In the number four spot... Friend of the program. It's Jules, it's Gronk. Great guy. Jules. Gritty receiver, basically. Fought through seven concussions against the Seahawks. Made a miraculous catch against the Falcons. Super Bowl MVP against the Rams. Wow. Julian Edelman.

Patrick Kane is the greatest American hockey player of all time

The [Patrick] Kane moment was incredible. It was like, he's everything. He's the best American hockey player. He is fucking three cups. Like he's just showtime. Big moment after big moment.

Bill and Hillary Clinton have a 0% chance of actually being in love

There's no chance they love each other. Right? It's a work relationship. 0% chance that they're in love with each other.

It is significantly harder to score in college basketball than in the NBA

I think it's way harder scoring college than it is in the NBA... you have this no three-second in the key [rule in college]. So you got a big that's just sitting there. You also have like two or three people in college you can help off of.

Sports fans are more knowledgeable today than at any other time in sports history

In 2024 I would make the argument that fans are more knowledgeable than they've ever been in any part of like sports history. There is countless things that you can watch if you want to learn more about the game that you love... everything is at your fingertips when it comes to becoming a more knowledgeable fan.

JJ Redick is playing a character on 'First Take' to lean into his Duke heel persona

I do think he is doing a little bit of a bit when he goes on first take, it's the heel in him. If you watch it under the idea that JJ is being like the Duke smart ass, I know more Ball than you, it's great TV.

Matt Eberflus's new beard makes him look like a winning football coach

Matt Eberflus debuted a new beard. He looks totally different. That's good. He looks like a winning football coach now. Tell me that's not a fucking football coach. Now he's gonna win some games.

Ty Law is the fifth-best Patriot of the dynasty era

My number five Patriot of all time... Swaggiest Patriot maybe on this whole list. Ty Law. That's number five.

Every team in college basketball currently sucks on the road

I think I wanna kind of say everyone sucks, but that's not a good way to get people into the sport. Everyone sucks on the road. That's the thing... Home court will lie to you.

John Calipari is on the hot seat because the 'meme' has become the reality

At some point the meme becomes the reality. I don't think they're gonna fire him. He has a lifetime contract... but Kentucky fans are absolutely ready for a change though. Absolutely. If he fucks this up, he's completely lost the magic.

The 2024 Virginia basketball team is 'disgusting' and can't score to save their lives

This is actually what Virginia basketball was to all the people back in the day. This specific Virginia team is disgusting, just disgusting basketball. They play great defense. They cannot score to save their lives.

The Mountain West has replaced the Atlantic 10 as the 'hipster' basketball league

The Mountain West has kind of become that... It is has become the league that's like if you don't know what game to watch, just throw on a random ass mountain West game. It's what the A-10 used to be.

Tennessee is a different and better team this year because of Dalton Knecht

I think this team is different than the Tennessee teams of the past because of Dalton Knecht... [he] might be the most electric scorer in college basketball. He's so fun... I trust [this team] more than any team since the 2019 Tennessee team.

Dan Hurley is the only coach in college basketball I trust to win a title right now

Who do we trust that's gonna win a national championship this year? Dan Hurley. 'Cause I saw it last year. That's it. That's literally it. These other guys haven't proven they can win.

Adam Silver is the number one cuck commissioner in sports because he allows the players to bully him

Adam Silver though. He kind of, is he the number one cuck commissioner now? He doesn't do shit. I mean, Roger Goodell, he does get bullied, but he get... He just gets bullied by everyone.

To fix the All-Star game, the losing team should pay the winning team $10,000 per point scored

Losing team has to pay winning team $10,000 per point. Because now you play defense. You play defense. And it doesn't matter if you're losing, you still try. Damian Lillard would've gotten $500,000 [from them].

Doc Rivers is an unlikable snake who stabbed Adrian Griffin in the back

Doc Rivers is really unlikable. He had the balls to, after taking someone's job and saying he was working for the Bucks as an analyst... You can't complain about a job that you stabbed somebody in the back for.

Doc Rivers' laundry list of excuses for the Bucks' poor start (altitude, schedule, flu season) is a total royal flush of coaching bullshit

He went altitude, schedule, time zones, fatigue, injuries, defense. That's about it. In 30 seconds. It's a royal flush. Yeah... he also had 'flu season' on defense. Flu season. El Nino.