Takes

Nathan Peterman will beat the Chicago Bears

Big Cat is on the hot seat... because your Chicago Bears have to play against Nathan Peterman on Sunday. Peterman's back... Nathan Peterman hasn't played his best game yet. And I know that because he wouldn't still be on the roster if he was that bad.

The Dodgers' bullpen would be their undoing

I said that the Dodgers' bullpen was going to be their undoing. From the start. I also said Red Sox in five. So not to brag, but I called it.

The 2018 College Football Playoff will include Alabama, Notre Dame, Clemson, and Michigan

The Final Four, if I'm projecting it out at the end of the season, would be Alabama, Notre Dame, Clemson, in some order... And then Michigan. My top four now are Alabama, Notre Dame, Clemson, LSU. But I'm projecting, obviously, that Alabama beats LSU.

I will cut off the tip of my pinky if the Texans win the Super Bowl

No, they're not going to win the Super Bowl. Guaranteed. I'll cut off a pinky... I'll cut off half a pinky. Nope. I'm going to cut off the top of my nub... I'm going to cut off the nail up if the Texans win.

The Redskins will finish the season with at least 10 wins

The bottom line is the R-words [Redskins] are going to go 10-6 minimum. Maybe 11-5.

I would come out of retirement to fight Steven Seagal

If I was going to come out of retirement, if Steven Seagal would sign a contract, I'd come out... I've already thrown that gauntlet down years ago.

Lacrosse is the sport of the future and will surpass baseball

My cool throne is lacrosse... My other hot seat could have been baseball because lacrosse is coming for that America's Pastime, sport of the future. Premier Lacrosse League was announced. TV deal... This sounds like a real dud. No, this is going to be great.

Jack Coan will be the next great quarterback for Wisconsin

You have a quarterback on the University of Wisconsin roster that eventually is going to take over... His name is Jack Coan. He's a five-star... He's already there... He dominated football in Long Island... He elected to go to Wisconsin because... they brought all these other big offensive linemen in... and the coach said, look at these guys. They're your offensive line when you become 19 or 20 years old.

Cystic Fibrosis will be eradicated in 5 to 10 years

I think CF will be eradicated from this earth in about five to 10 years.

The Saints are the second best team in the NFC

[The Saints] are just five and one now and look like the second best team in the NFC behind the Rams.

The Packers will be the second best team in the NFC by the end of the season

I'll say it's going to be the Packers by the time it turns out [the second best team in the NFC].

The Detroit Lions are a sleeper team for a Wild Card spot

The sleeper team that I was talking about, pointing to for everybody in August, that nobody still is talking about, the Detroit Lions... I wouldn't be surprised if they wind up with a wild card.

The Super Bowl will be the Rams vs. the Chargers

I think, by the way, that that's going to end up being your Super Bowl is the Rams and the Chargers.

Tommy Lasorda will die if the Red Sox win the World Series

I'm still going with Tommy [Lasorda]. He's going to die if the Red Sox win.

Steve Wilks will be the first NFL coach fired in 2018

I think it is now official that Steve Wilks might be the first coach to be fired... Just fire him and then pretend it never happened. You could easily do it right now. We'll all forget.

Kevin Durant will sign with the Knicks to get his 'masculinity' back

This is going to be the greatest free agent summer of all time, because we basically have Kevin Durant being like, can an entire internet troll him into going to the Knicks just to try to get his made-up masculinity back... We will take away the Triple B [Baby Back Bitch] if he goes to the Knicks.

The Chiefs will have a come-down-to-earth game against the Bengals

I think this is going to be the week where everything comes back down to earth. It's a little bit sloppy. They might lose, but they're probably going to be within the record.

The Bucks will win over 48.5 games and win the Central Division

I have the Bucks over 48 and a half. I think the Bucks are going to be very good. I think they'll win the Central. I think Giannis is going to – do you see he shoots threes now?

LeBron James and the Lakers will win 50 games this season

I have the Lakers over 47 and a half... LeBron's going to win 50 games. I just think there's no way. I think Brandon Ingram is very, very good.

The 76ers will win under 53.5 games because Joel Embiid will get injured

I have the under 76ers, 53 and a half. That's just a pure hate bias. No way they all say healthy. Embiid's probably going to get injured for 75 games.

The Wizards will go over their win total because John Wall, Bradley Beal, and Dwight Howard will have great chemistry

I'm also going to take the over on the Wizards. I think that Wall and Beal and Dwight Howard are going to have great chemistry. They're big three.

The Bears are destined to sign Brock Osweiler

The Bears are destined to sign Brock Osweiler... because he is the perfect... he's more Mike Glennon than Mike Glennon is. And the fact that he's impressed you guys so many times by beating you in your face.

The Raiders could move on from Derek Carr next year

I think the real question is, what do they do with Derek Carr next year? Because even though he's got that big contract, they can unload him at a manageable cap hit if they decide that John Gruden needs a different quarterback... In fact, it's easier than you'd think to get out from under Carr's contract.

The Raiders will get rid of Derek Carr and replace him with old veterans

He strikes me as a guy that would absolutely get rid of this high-paid quarterback and bring in like six veterans who are all over the age of like 33.

The Eagles season is officially saved after beating the Giants

Eagles season is saved. Carson Wentz, there was no QB controversy. But Carson Wentz, Eagles season saved. They're now 3-3, which is essentially like a 10-game lead in the NFC East.

The 2018 NFC Championship will be Bears vs. Rams

It's going to be Rams, Bears, and the NFC Championship game. And the Bears are probably going to beat them with that physical defense.

The 2018 Super Bowl will be Bears vs. Patriots

It's going to be Bears-Patriots in the Super Bowl.

The Chiefs will beat the Patriots outright in Week 6

Chiefs and Patriots, it's going to be awesome. We'll see if Mahomes is for real... I think the Chiefs win this one outright. I do.

The Red Sox will beat the Astros in 7 games in the ALCS

Hank, are you worried at all about the Red Sox against the Astros? The Astros are a wagon. [Hank:] I think it's going to go seven games where the Red Sox are going to win.

The 2018 World Series will be a Dodgers vs. Astros rematch

I think it's going to be a repeat. Dodgers, Stros. I think the Dodgers are going to – Rich Hill is going to do something. But playoff Kershaw.

8-8 will win the NFC East in 2018

However, the NFC East is an absolute dumpster fire. I'm pretty sure 8-8 wins it, and you're playing against the Eagles at home on Thursday night. If you win that game, you now are the favorite to win the NFC East.

Jason Witten and Booger McFarland are definitely going to fight

[Speaker 3] Do you think Booger McFarland and Jason Witten are going to fight? [Speaker 4] Yes. I do too. Absolutely. If you listen to the first quarter of that game, it was ridiculous. Like they were going into the next play of the game, still trying to get the last word over each other.

Khabib Nurmagomedov's dad will punish him more severely than the UFC

His fucking dad is going to kick the shit out of him. And it's so funny that this guy is 30 years old, one of the best UFC fighters of all time, and he's got to go home to Dagestan and get worse sanctions from his father than he will from Dana White.

The Falcons are officially done for the season

Falcons are definitely a Dunchain candidate. Put the Dunchain right around their neck. [Pete Prisco] The Falcons can't stop anybody. They're pretty much done.

The Browns will be a playoff team in 2019

I don't think they're a playoff team this year. I think they'll push for 8-8 season, and then next year they'll be a playoff team. How about that early prediction? I think the Browns will be a playoff team next year.

NFL scoring will go down as defenses catch up to offensive gimmicks

Look what happened today. You know what happens? Everybody catches up with the gimmicks. The gadget plays. Offense is going to rule. Never again will the defense be able to stop them. Look at today. They started to slow them down today... Scoring will go down. It will not stay the same pace.

I will beat Darren Rovell in a mile run

I will beat [Darren Rovell] in a mile, though. He's said anywhere, anytime. So I'm just going to let my back heal up next four or five months, get my core strong. I'm going to show up at his house and just be like, let's go.

Josh Gordon will be a 'cheat code' for Tom Brady and the Patriots

Josh Gordon, obviously, he's going to be a cheat code. He's going to be the guy that Brady throws it up to, and he's going to catch it nine times out of ten. I'm going to get sick of it. I'm going to be upset at myself for predicting it and ruining my life in advance.

The Yankees will win their playoff series against the Red Sox

I actually think the Yankees will win this series because you need—the Yankees to be full Yankees. They need that guy who everyone's like, whether even like the Yankees fans would die for him and everyone else universally is like, that guy's the biggest scumbag in the world.

Khabib Nurmagomedov is going to 'work' Conor McGregor

I have a bad feeling that Khabib is going to work him. I'm just going to say I have a bad feeling, a bad premonition. Call it shakiness in my knees. I just feel something bad coming.

Jason Witten will be on the Booger Mobile by the end of the season

Bold prediction. Jason Witten's going to be on the Booger Mobile by the end of the season. They should put him both on the Booger Mobile.

The Chicago Cubs have one more World Series in them

I still think this team [Cubs] has one World Series in them, one more World Series in them. But this fucking sucks.

No one will ever hit .400 in MLB again

No. No one will ever hit .400 or even come close to hitting .400... over the course of a full season ever again. There's just too many defensive shifts and there's so much data on hitters and pitchers... those days of come and gone in baseball.

The Cleveland Indians will win the 2018 World Series

I think it very well could be the Cleveland Indians from the American League... and the Dodgers... I think it's going to be the Cleveland Indians.

Conor McGregor will lose to Khabib Nurmagomedov

My Who's Back of the Week is Conor McGregor... maybe because he's going to lose. He is going against Khabib... who wrestled bears as a child.

Bryce Harper will sign with the Phillies

To be honest with you, I think Philadelphia... Philadelphia's trying to win a World Series the next few years.

All signs are pointing to a Jared Goff vs. Blake Bortles Super Bowl

All signs are pointing to a Jared Goff-Blake Bortles Super Bowl right now. We're going to have to be in attendance wearing the jersey that Brady Quinn's sister used to wear when Quinn played against A.J. Hawk.

The Bucs vs. Bears game is an elimination game for the playoffs

The Bucs and the Bears, I have dubbed this an elimination game. So the loser will not make the playoffs. The winner will, unless the Bears lose.

I don't think anyone from the NFC East is making the playoffs

I don't think anybody's making the playoffs out of that crap division [NFC East].

Josh Rosen will be exposed as a fraud against the Seahawks

My pick's going to be the Seahawks, minus three... the Cardinals. Yeah, Josh Rosen's going to throw like four picks... After this week, he'll be exposed.