Takes

The loss to the Saints was a statement loss for the Rams that showed championship resolve

I think that was a statement loss for the Rams. Okay. Because they basically had everything go wrong in the first half... And the way they came out in the second half, even though they didn't win the game, that was championship resolve.

Sam Darnold is bad and investors should sell the stock

Sam Darnold. Trash. He's bad. Sell the stock.

The Raiders are the worst team in the NFL

The Raiders are the worst team in the league. And that is also considering the fact they beat the Browns. But they are the worst team in the league.

I would fight Jon Jones again even if he is on performance-enhancing drugs

At the end of the day, he won the fights, and that's all I want to do is win the fights. So if that means fighting him again, even if he's on the stuff, I mean, you have to do it. So, yeah, of course I want to fight him again.

Conor McGregor cannot win a rematch against Khabib Nurmagomedov due to the matchup

Matchup-wise, this is just a bad matchup... Khabib doesn't get hit clean right away to get knocked out. He also has the ability to take him down, and also he's in great shape. He's not going to get tired... With Khabib, it didn't seem to have the same effect because Khabib's so big.

You have to bet on the Steelers when Ben Roethlisberger thinks he is injured

This actually, if you are a betting man, and we are, you have to take the Steelers this weekend. Because an injured Big Ben, or even a Big Ben who thinks he's injured... always is dangerous.

Jason Witten is clearly over his head and won't have a job at ESPN by the end of the year

I officially, officially feel bad for Jason Witten. He is so clearly over his head... And now I just feel bad because it feels like he's not going to have a job at the end of the year. And this is painful.

Bill Belichick is hilarious in real life

I've spent some quality time with Bill... Is he funny in real life? Oh, he's hilarious... I know [him] off the field... he's the best of the best.

Clayton Kershaw is still kind of a bum in the playoffs

Clayton Kershaw still kind of a bum. Whew. That was tough. If [David] Price had done what Kershaw did, you'd be killing him. Bum is hard. But today was a moment... when you give up a two-run homer in the first inning, that's tough.

Manny Machado is the perfect villain for baseball

Manny Machado, the world's biggest jerk. I love Manny Machado. I don't want him on the Cubs, but I love this guy... It was his coming out party as a real asshole, and I love it. Because the world... we need villains. And Manny Machado was the perfect villain.

Kirk Cousins will not win big games for the Vikings

But that's one of those games that if you're a Vikings fan, you have to ask yourself, we paid Kirk Cousins to win those type of games, and Kirk Cousins isn't going to win those type of games. He's not going to win those type of games... Kirk Cousins will not win big games, but he can win enough games to get you in the playoffs.

The Bears will be in first place in the NFC North (for now)

The Bears are back. They're number one. NFC North. Just saying. I don't know if we'll hold on to it for very long, but you have to enjoy the small steps, okay?

I'm withholding all judgment on Josh Rosen for his rookie year

I'm officially saying this whole year, too early to judge. I learned my lesson from Jared Goff. I like that. What about Sam Darnold? Too early to judge.

Clemson is the only team that can go toe-to-toe with Alabama

Clemson feels like the only team that could go toe to toe with Alabama. And I'm not sure. Cause if you get Clemson, when they hit kill mode, I don't think Notre Dame or Michigan or LSU would be able to hang with him.

Joe Buck is the best announcer of the last 30 years

Do you think that Joe Buck is the best announcer of the last 30 years? Yes. I think Joe Buck, although he's getting so much credit now... Throw your Joe Buck sucks take out the window. Which is true.

The Lions are not sure they're bad and could win their division

I actually think the Lions could be okay. They could win that division, you think? Are we sure they're good? We're not sure they're bad.

Jon Jones would defeat Brock Lesnar in a fight

I think probably Jon [Jones], his athleticism and length is going to pose a problem for Lesnar. And Brock, as amazing athlete as he is and as big and strong as he is, he still hasn't really made friends with getting punched in the face.

David Price officially has the clutch gene

Does David Price have the clutch gene? That is the question. That is the segment. And I'm going to say yes. He does. When it matters the most.

Chris Paul is the worst teammate in the NBA

Chris Paul, worst teammate in the league... It says all of his former teammates. Ryan Hollins and Glen Davis [say it].

The lottery would make significantly more money if they had a one-click app

Can you imagine how much money the lottery would make if they somehow just made an app that you can, with one click, buy lottery tickets? Yes, it would be insane. It would be ridiculous. I would buy so many lottery tickets.

Ugly wins are worth more than pretty close wins

An ugly win is actually worth more than a pretty close win. Because if you can win ugly, that's like a confidence boost. Like, okay, we didn't have our stuff.

Eli Manning is no longer a good quarterback

Eli Manning is not a good quarterback anymore... That means he was a good quarterback, two Super Bowl rings, Hall of Famer, all that stuff. He's not a good quarterback anymore, and I can't stand the offensive line talk because, yes, the offensive line is bad, but Eli Manning is the king of pressures coming, just turtle, and not look downfield.

Jerry Jones traded for Amari Cooper because he was drinking Johnny Walker Blue

I do not understand how the Dallas Cowboys gave up a first-round pick for Amari Cooper... Jerry Jones... the reason is Johnny Walker Blue.

Marshawn Lynch is faking his injury because he doesn't want to play for Jon Gruden

Marshawn Lynch is out... He's out with an injured groin is the explanation they gave. I don't think that Marshawn Lynch is capable of having his groin injured... I think he doesn't like Jon Gruden. He doesn't want to play for Jon Gruden to do a car.

Cody Kessler is a terrible quarterback

Cody Kessler that guy stinks throwing the ball over the place fumbling he recovered his fumble but still interceptions I get it you gotta maybe sit down the boat [Bortles] for a minute it was uh the engine needs a little tune up but good news the next game for the Jaguars is in London and Blake Bortles owns London.

If Titanic 2 sinks, it would be the greatest moment ever

If the Titanic 2 could somehow sink, it would be the greatest moment ever... because you're an asshole for riding on the Titanic 2.

Hue Jackson is objectively a very bad football coach

From where I'm sitting, [Hue Jackson] is objectively a very bad football coach. Okay? And on top of that... He just blames everyone else when shit goes wrong.

The Patriots are very beatable without Rob Gronkowski

I thought that I think [the Patriots] are very beatable, though, without Gronk.

The Eagles are suffering a quintessential Super Bowl hangover

No, they are a quintessential Super Bowl hangover. Because every game, they're up 17-0. They're like, oh, we got this... but it's these games that they think they've won and they just lose them.

Justin Tucker is worth a second-round pick

Justin Tucker is the one kicker that I think would actually probably be worth a first-round pick... I'll give you a second.

Taysom Hill is better at everything Tim Tebow does

[Sean Payton] puts Taysom Hill out there, and Taysom Hill is like Tim Tebow – except he's better at everything Tim Tebow does. He's a better pump protector. He's a better passer. He's a better runner.

Urban Meyer can't get his team ready for inferior opponents

Urban Meyer's sad faces on the sideline because Ohio State lost a game that they should have won... people are saying, not me, people are saying, Urban Meyer, can he get his team ready for the inferior opponents? I don't know... but this is now becoming a trend for Urban Meyer.

Boban Marjanovic is not of this world

My who's back is Boban... His clips of him playing are, I mean, I remember people talking about him last year, but this year it's like surreal. He's not of this world. It's like he's playing on a seven-foot hoop.

Philip Rivers is the most underrated quarterback of our time

Phil Rivers is probably the most underrated quarterback of our time. He's for sure a Hall of Famer.

David Price's postseason demons won't be fully exercised until he wins in the World Series

I'm not ready to declare the demons exercised. The demons are warmed up. They're jazzercising right now. To be fully exercised, it has to be in the World Series.

The Bears are officially good if they can beat the Patriots

If the Bears can beat the Patriots, then they're officially good. It's going to be a big test.

The Jets did themselves a favor by missing out on Kirk Cousins

If you know anything about Kirk Cousins, you actually did yourself a favor by not getting him because you'd rather suck out loud than be kind of around average for four years.

Only 12 NFL owners actually care about winning championships

I think there are legitimately 12 teams in the National Football League that are legitimately concerned about winning a Super Bowl... I think there are certain owners that are just in there to build equity... and every now and then catch the lightning.

Aaron Rodgers acts like Compound W by covering up the Packers' warts

When you've got a quarterback like that—I always just say this about Peyton Manning... he's like Compound W, just spreading himself all over warts. The issue you get into is that I think you get this self-confidence that we're pretty good... they think they're a lot better than they really are.

The NFL is tailoring the game to fantasy football fans by creating 'Points-a-Palooza'

We've created a generation of people who have watched football based on fantasy football... and the NFL is actually going, okay, you love fantasy football? Here it is. Here's fantasy football for you. People are digging it.

Case Keenum is missing wide-open targets because of bad footwork

He [Case Keenum] just hasn't been very good. He's missed a bunch of wide-open targets... part of it is your offensive line stinks, and so you speed up your footwork... and the ball just gets out of your hands. The timing of your footwork and the routes don't line up.

You can only play with a back fracture in hockey and football

The only sports that you can play with a small back fracture are hockey and football... Injured is when you have to have surgery that holds you out. You have to play injured [in the NFL]. And more importantly, you have to play well injured.

The G-League's $125k offer is a major threat to the NCAA

The G-League has come out and they have said that they are giving a $125,000 contract to players that could be eligible for the one and done and they want to skip college... This is trouble for the NCAA.

America is sick of Aaron Rodgers winning games in predictable, dramatic fashion

He will win a game late, and he will do it in dramatic fashion, and he will drop dimes and all that. I'm sick of it. I think America is sick of it, to be honest, if I'm just going to speak for America here.

Jason Witten was hired by ESPN solely to mend the relationship between the network and NFL owners

Jason Witten is in place to mend the ESPN-NFL relationship, which makes sense... they put him in there, and it doesn't really matter if he's bad for the audience. It just matters that the rest of the owners and Roger Goodell likes him.

Josh Allen's ligaments were too weak to support his rocket arm

His arm was too strong that his ligaments couldn't support all the muscle... the good news is he doesn't need Tommy John surgery.

The NFL is effectively becoming seven-on-seven flag football

Tom Brady threw for over 500 yards and lost the Super Bowl... I loved the doomsday defense, the steel curtain... Those guys, they just shut you the fuck down... and it's just all gone. I mean, the fucking guy, Tyreek Hill... runs across the middle of the field... nobody's going to hit him.

The Wisconsin Badgers season is officially over

The Badger season's over. They're a fucking dumpster fire. I'm done... don't ever think about getting sucked back into this Wisconsin season. They're chicken shit cowards and don't deserve your time or money.

Nathan Peterman is the Matt Schaub of our generation

Yeah, he's the Matt Schaub of our generation. It's great. I mean, every game is just so much more exciting when Nathan Peterman gets involved because you know what's going to happen. It's just a matter of time.

The Jets might actually be good

The Jets might be good. 3-3. Todd Bowles, turn that squad around. Turn it around. Top 10. That's what he does. He's getting up there.