Takes

North Carolina will win their Final Four game by 20 and the championship by 10

I think [North Carolina] are going to win this game by 20. And then I don't care who they play in the finals. They're going to win by at least 10.

Legalized gambling will be available across the country in five years.

Football in Vegas, I'm saying, calling your shot five years, say five years, legalized gambling all across the country, it's going to be great.

London is the next city to get an NFL franchise.

I guess this puts London as next city up, right? Yeah, because the NFL got rid of its two scary boogeymen out there, Los Angeles and Las Vegas, for wh...

The Cavaliers will win the Eastern Conference.

So they're [the Cavs] going to win the East. ... It's every single year this happens. Whatever team LeBron's on, they have a little swoon and everyone's like, uh-oh, hit the panic button. ... And then they'll win the East.

The Celtics can beat the Cavaliers in a seven-game series with home-court advantage.

Do you think the Celtics can beat the Cavs in a seven-game series? Yes. With home advantage? Yes.

The Wizards will win the Eastern Conference this year.

Do you think they [the Celtics] can beat the Wizards? No. Yeah. No, this is Wizards' year. It's all about D.C. this year. ... I don't know if you saw this, but the Wizards, they're wearing different jerseys in the playoffs this year. White with stars and stripes on it.

If North Carolina plays well, they will win the National Championship

I just think Carolina's got too many weapons. If Carolina plays well, they win. For them to lose, they're going to have to play less than well, less than their best.

Gonzaga will beat South Carolina in the Final Four because of their scoring depth

I favor Gonzaga because they've got so many more scorers and shooters. You know, South Carolina's not been a great offensive team all year... otherwise, I like Gonzaga to win the game.

Coach K will retire in four or five years

My guess is like four years or so, four or five, but you never know... Four to five years. I don't know, but that's my guess.

It is a near certainty that college players will eventually boycott a game

I do think as the players, as we go forward, the players are getting more sort of socially aware and their awareness of their power in the marketplace is becoming greater. I think we'll see at some point somebody will boycott. I don't know when it's going to come, but I think it's a near certainty it's going to happen.

Bill Self and John Calipari having their sons on their teams will provide a great Final Four storyline

One thing that we haven't talked enough shit about Bill Self is the fact that his son's on the team... So I guess we're tracking towards Bill Self's son, John Calipari's son, Final Four... That'll be wonderful. Good storyline.

Jeff Fisher will get a position with the NFL league office within six months

If you think that Jeff Fisher doesn't get a position with league office in the next six months, then you don't know your football. He's a lifer. He's going to die inside the NFL's office.

Tournament games will be lower-scoring (unders) this weekend as teams tighten up

I think it'll tighten up. I think when teams tighten up, when more is on the line, normally the under is prevalent.

South Carolina will upset Baylor in the Sweet 16

I think South Carolina is real. I think they're not a fluke. I think they're on a mission... I think that I would call for an upset here. I think South Carolina is the bet here.

UCLA will defeat Kentucky because Calipari always has a 'brain fart' at the end of games

Calipari is extremely, extremely tough to beat. He's a great coach up until the last minute of the game, and then he just has a brain fart, and he's fucking horrific... I see Euclid [UCLA] somehow, someway, getting over the hump here and eliminating Kentucky.

Florida will beat Wisconsin in the Sweet 16

I'm going to lay the number with Florida. I think Florida's going to prevail here.

The Washington Capitals will win the Stanley Cup this year

I would like to see you win the Cup. I have them [Capitals] winning the Cup this year.

Ryan Tannehill will put it all together this year, but it's hard with Tom Brady in the division

This is the year he's [Ryan Tannehill] going to put it all together. We got you around. But as long as number 12 [Tom Brady] is in that division, it's going to be really hard.

Javi Baez is going to get a fastball in the ear hole for his showboating

I want to put one in Javi by his ear hole... and you better believe that he's going to get one in his ear hole soon. You see him he was like celebrating as he was tagging the other day... You don't go around another man's tag... Tebow's never been to—say what you want about Tim Tebow but he wouldn't showboat when he was getting to third base for the first time.

Coach K will retire this offseason

Coach K's 70. Coach K's going to retire. Oh, this offseason. That's the new rumor. This is the year.

Lonzo Ball's shooting form will get stuffed to the rafters in the NBA

I'm liking that left ear release. It's going to get stuffed to the rafters in the NBA, but I love it. It's going to be great to watch, though. At first, when I'd watch [Lonzo Ball] shoot, I'd be like, that's like watching Jim Furyk swing a golf club. No way can this guy be good.

Wisconsin will lose in heartbreaking fashion on a buzzer-beater

Wisconsin is going to lose in heartbreaking fashion. That's going to be fun... South Carolina will probably win on a buzzer beater right in my face. I'll have front row seats.

Michigan will win the national championship

I got them [Michigan] winning national championship. I don't know if McAfee kept it... But I got them winning national championship because of all that stuff.

Kansas is the best team left in the field besides Michigan

If I'm going to pick one team, I'm going to say what I saw today. I'll pick Kansas. I thought they were really good. I think they did. And that kid Josh Jackson, man, he's really good.

Steve Alford will be the next coach at Indiana

I think [Steve] Alford's going to be the coach, but they'll probably talk to [Marshall], probably. I would think... I figured the AD already had Alford in place because you don't fire somebody... unless you've got somebody in place.

Indiana will fly a plane full of money to Boston to sit down with Brad Stevens

I've always said you just fill a plane full of money and you just fly it to Boston and, you know, Brad, here you go, man. Let's figure this out together... I think, yeah, I do. I think they're going to talk to him.

Brad Stevens is definitely not going to the Indiana job

Maybe going back to Indiana. Dream job? I'm so excited for it because he's not going to go to Indiana. Anyone with a brain knows that. But it's going to get written. It's going to get some buzz.

Malcolm Butler will be traded to the Saints for the 32nd overall pick

Pardon My Take broke some news. And the news hasn't actually happened yet. The news was that Malcolm Butler is being dealt to the Saints for the 32nd overall pick. I stand by our story. Just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean that it's not going to.

The McGregor vs. Mayweather fight will likely happen about 20 months from now

Dana White said that he thinks it's going to happen... So we're about 20 months away from seeing this fight, if it ever happens.

SMU is very good and could go to the Sweet 16, Elite Eight, or even the Final Four

I got two picks for tomorrow for you. URI, Round of Pick'em, and SMU. I love SMU. I've loved SMU all year. I think they're a very good team. I think they could go to the Elite Eight or maybe Sweet 16, or Final Four.

I have Wisconsin in the Final Four

I also want to mention that I have Wisconsin in the Final Four. Like I said, unbiased journalism. Here is where it is at.

Nick and Vanessa from The Bachelor are going to last

This is 2016 and this is how the millennials find love. I think they're going to last. I would like to see the Fantasy Suite get its own spinoff reality show.

I'm picking the winner of the Notre Dame-West Virginia game to reach the Final Four

Do you think I'm crazy to have the winner of the [Notre Dame-West Virginia] game in my Final Four? Because that's what I'm picking.

Oklahoma State will beat Michigan

I like how the plane crash... negates like everything else we know about Michigan. This has become the story... Michigan beat some shitty Big Ten teams to win the tournament... and now we're going to pretend like they're actually a good team. I think Oklahoma State's going to win that game.

Rhode Island is the mid-major most likely to make noise in the tournament

I would say Rhode Island [is a team that can make some noise].

UCLA has no chance of making the Final Four

UNC, it feels like they're the most complete team in this region... but UCLA, there's no chance UCLA's going to the Final Four.

Johnny Manziel is officially back and committed to a comeback after getting engaged

My who's back of the week is Johnny Football... Comeback season. He just got engaged to show that he's committed and he's making his comeback. So it seems like he's got everything going for him heading forward.

I would predict no babies are born nine months after March Madness starts

I would predict that there are like no babies born nine months after the start of March Madness because no guy out there is [finding success]... This is the weekend that a guy drinks too many beers, eats nachos, and then farts a lot and falls asleep on the couch.

Alshon Jeffrey betting on himself with a one-year deal is a bad bet because he'll be injured by Week 3

Alshon Jeffrey to the Eagles. One year deal betting on himself betting on himself that he won't be injured by week three, which is a bad bet by Alshon.

ESPN on-air personalities are 'snowflakes' on the hot seat due to massive impending cuts

My hot seat is all the snowflake on-air personalities at ESPN. Big time cuts coming soon.

Kyle Shanahan is making a huge mistake by trading for Kirk Cousins as a first-year coach

Kyle Shanahan... Looks like he's going to trade for Kirk Cousins. Big mistake, Kyle. We as football guys, guys know the last thing you want to do if you're a new coach is get your guy in there day one. Because then you have no excuse.

The Number 37 car will win the NASCAR race in Las Vegas this Sunday

We have a Natty Light Barstool race car in the Cobalt 400 on Sunday. We're going to be live there... Number 37 car. He's going to win. I feel good about it. I'm going to guarantee it for him.

Kansas is the most consistent team in the country, but I would pick Purdue to beat them in the tournament

I'm saying Kansas. See, I think Kansas is the most consistent team in the country. But if they get matched up against Purdue, I'll probably take Purdue in that ballgame. Because [Kansas has] no inside presence. That actually is really dumb of me to do because it is all about the matches.

Gonzaga will fail to reach the Final Four this year

Now I may lose a bet to Greenberg because I had a bet with Seth Greenberg before that they [Gonzaga] don't get the Final Four.

Kevin Durant will never be 100% for the rest of the season

I'm banking on Kevin Durant never being 100% for the rest of the year. Do you think the Warriors are now vulnerable, or is that just wishful thinking from someone who's a Warrior hater?

DeMarcus Cousins will fail in New Orleans because he blames others for his problems

It does feel like he's the type of guy that blames everyone else for his problems because the refs are on him and his teammates stink... It feels like it's not going to work in New Orleans. It feels like he's that type of guy who's like, I'm so talented and the world kind of owes me something.

The Bulls will beat the Warriors on TNT and then lose to a shitty team

They're going to beat the Warriors tonight. It's a home game on TNT on a Thursday night. The Bulls will beat the Warriors, and I will say the Bulls are back, and that will happen. And that happens every single, like, every three weeks, and then they lose to some shitty-ass team.

Lonzo Ball won't fall in the draft because of his father's quotes

I don't think so. ... If you're a pro team, I think it's pretty easy to step away from that and not have that be a big factor. I don't think anyone would pass on talent if they feel like if they believe in him for the roster.

It is officially the Washington Capitals' year to win the Stanley Cup

It is Wednesday, March 1st, and it is the Caps year... I'm even more irrationally confident now [after the Kevin Shattenkirk trade].

The Minnesota Wild are going to have a 'mump slump' after several players contracted the mumps

So it's the [Minnesota] Wild that has the mumps, right? So calling it right now, it's going to be a mump slump. There's your headline.