Takes

Brian Kelly knows he is on the hot seat at Notre Dame

Brian Kelly knows that he's on the hot seat. I mean, the people in the facility, the players and the coaches know that if they don't improve, things are going to change. So going into this year, Brian Kelly knows that he has to improve, and hopefully they can.

The NFL is still king and ratings aren't in real trouble despite the 2016 dip

I don't think the league's in trouble at all. I don't. I mean, it's still king. Even though when their ratings were down, any other sport would still take the ratings. And I think one of the things you look at is it was also an election year that hurts ratings. I think after the election was over, some of the ratings started to go back up.

The Houston Texans are definitely not better off without J.J. Watt

How could you be better without [J.J. Watt]? You know, no matter what people think about him off the field, on the field, he's a pretty darn good player. Now you put him with Mercilus and Clowney, it'll be interesting what happens. So to say the Texans would be better with him off the football field, I don't think is—that's just [the PMT] hot take.

I would beat Mike Greenberg in tennis if my life was on the line

If my life was depending on it, I would practice enough and do enough to beat him because I knew my life was on it. [Greeny] can't even play his one little nerd sport better than [me]. He's probably better than me at all, but in that given situation, not only would I try and beat him, the best way to do it would be try and somehow hurt him during the match so he couldn't finish.

Rajon Rondo passes up easy layups specifically to hunt for assists

You know what Rondo does that's so fucking annoying? Everything, but he also loves, loves, loves to pass up super easy layups just to get assists. He's the worst with that. He did that today when the Bulls got smoked by the Wolves. He was ready to go for a layup, and then he passed it for a three-pointer. Dude, just fucking shoot the layup. Stop trying to get assists.

Disrespecting Madison Square Garden should be a hate crime

If you disrespect the Garden, it should be a hate crime. There are certain places that, as an American, it's like Madison Square Garden, Lambeau Field, the gym where they filmed Hoosiers. If you disrespect those places, it's a hate crime.

Bill Belichick is the greatest coach of all time

I do think he's the greatest coach of all time. And, you know, any curve ball you get on Super Bowl Sunday, you might think it's, the hill's too steep, but, you know, guys were just conditioned to be able to go out there, hit the curve ball, keep rolling.

MLB's extra innings rule changes are a David Stern-style publicity stunt

David Stern used to do this all the time in the middle of the summer when the NBA wasn't getting any headlines. ... I think MLB is trying to do something. Super Bowl just ended. They're trying to get everyone back into baseball season, get some people talking about baseball. So let's just throw a stupid rule out there that's never going to work.

Mike Tirico replacing Bob Costas is a win for white media members

NBC announced that Bob Costas is handing over Olympic duty to Mike Tirico. And if you remember, Mike Tirico is a white guy, as he said. ... As a white guy, I'm happy that Bob Costas is passing off the Olympic coverage to another white guy. It's good to see the white guys keep their jobs in the media business.

The CFL is the perfect place for Johnny Manziel to start a comeback

Johnny Manziel is back. He has reportedly had a tryout with the CFL, which the CFL is exactly where Johnny Manziel needs to start his comeback.

The Falcons choked the Super Bowl away to the Patriots

I think the Falcons choked it away pretty hard. I didn't realize how bad the choke was until I saw the Patriots should have lost in four different wins.

Phil Jackson is only at the Knicks because James Dolan is a sucker

I respect [Phil Jackson] for spotting the sucker in the room and basically saying, oh, James Dolan wants me to come and work for him, and I don't have to move, and I don't have to do anything, and he's going to pay me millions of dollars. What's the worst going to happen?

The Bruins firing Claude Julien during the Patriots parade is the greatest PR 101 move ever

The Boston Bruins who fired Claude Julien... The morning of the New England Patriots parade and held a press conference during the parade. That is the greatest PR 101 story of all time.

Mark Wahlberg used his sick kid as an excuse to leave the Super Bowl early

That is an unbelievable story, the fact that he got exposed for leaving early and then threw his kid out there. ... The blame aspect is really strong in that.

The Falcons lost Super Bowl 51 more than the Patriots won it

Did the Patriots win this game or did the Falcons lose it? Ooh, I think they lost it. I think the Falcons lost it. All they had to do, there was two key points in the game... If you just run the ball straight up the middle, don't even gain a yard... now it's a two-score game with four minutes left. That's a lot harder for the Patriots to come back on that.

Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback of all time

That's why he's the greatest quarterback of all time. No, we can say he is the greatest quarterback of all time.

Kyle Shanahan was too focused on his new head coaching job with the 49ers during the Super Bowl

Kyle Shanahan, was he too focused on his new job? Absolutely. Yes. His mind was on West Coast time. No doubt.

Roger Goodell is back after taking his medicine from Patriots fans

The boos that were rained down on Roger Goodell... He stood up there. He overdosed on his medicine. I think he's back. I think it's now fair's fair.

David Stern was a worse commissioner than Roger Goodell

Which commissioner do you think has done a worse job, Roger Goodell or David Stern when he got into that beef with you? Yeah, that's going to be a tough call, David Stern. Yeah. Stern was not happy with me that day... If you're asking me which one's worse, it's Stern.

Michael Jordan is better than LeBron James because he has the clutch gene

LeBron is a fraud. He's a hot fraud. Michael Jordan's all that. He's an all that guy. Get your 32, 11, 6, bank it. More importantly, clutch gene.

Lady Gaga's Super Bowl halftime performance was stellar

Lady Gaga's halftime performance, which was stellar, by the way. Anyone who hated that, get out of my face. Stop listening to this show.

Terrell Owens not being in the Hall of Fame is the biggest joke of all time

But seriously, T.O. not being in the Hall of Fame is probably the biggest joke of all time. What is he, second most in reception yards?

Mark Wahlberg leaving the Super Bowl early was a bad move

Marky Mark, Miami Heat fan slash New England Patriot fan. Left in, what, like 10 minutes left in the fourth quarter? Yeah, he left really early... how about you respect your favorite player, I assume, Tom Brady, and his ability to come back in a game. That's a bad look... that was a fucked up move for you to leave.

The Falcons take some luster off the Super Bowl because they haven't won anything yet

It feels, maybe it's the Falcons, and the Falcons forever will be kind of a fake team, and I don't mean that, no offense to Falcons fans, but that's just, they have to win something, right? No, but they have to win something to be, that's just how it works, right? So the Falcons definitely take a little luster off the Super Bowl.

The Super Bowl is played at a speed so fast it's hard to even remember individual plays

It is so fast that I could probably tell you in 14 years, I could tell you every game that I played in from a rookie to a third-year player... and I can barely recall plays from the Super Bowl. It's that fast. It's wait, wait, wait. ... and then all of a sudden, you're on the field, and it's like the final drive.

Tom Brady is a 'medical science miracle'

And Tom Brady's playing. He's 39. 39, right? And he's getting better. A medical science miracle.

NFL security is on the hot seat for letting PFT Commenter sneak into Media Night

Hot seat is is NFL security. The I mean, the all of the bands, the pronouncements that NFL makes and and PFT just waltzes right right in.

Michael Vick's legacy is secure as one of the best quarterbacks ever

I'm just going to throw it out there. I think Michael Vick's legacy is secure. He's one of the best quarterbacks ever.

Kirk Cousins is comparable to Andy Dalton and Alex Smith as a quarterback

I think you'd have to have a good running game. I mean, you kind of look at Kurt as kind of, well, I mean, He and Andy Dalton, I think, are very similar. And you put him probably in the same vein as Alex Smith.

Wisconsin is a perennial threat to win the national title

As everyone knows, Wisconsin's perennial threat to win the national title. So that's probably Nick Saban just trying to take out his number one rival. Take out Wisconsin. Wisconsin Badgers.

Shaka Smart having an assistant hold a paint can to remind players to stay in the paint is a good move

You know, we make fun of a lot of things and we kind of have a good time on this podcast, but I actually buy this move. Full on. That is like a literal, you know, get into the paint while a guy's flashing a can of paint in your face. You remember to get in the paint.

Super Bowl babies are a myth because fans are too drunk and bloated to have sex after the game

Super Bowl has... I completely disagree. Super Bowl is the last day that you have sex because everyone eats. You eat a million pigs in a blanket. You drink beer. You sit on the couch. You fart. You're not having sex. Yeah, if you win, you're getting drunker. There's no chance you're having sex that night. So, yeah, I think Super Bowl babies might be myth.

Major League Baseball is the easiest sport to win money on

I would say Major League Baseball is the easiest sport to win. No issue about it. Because, again, think about it. The longevity of the cycle of the season gives you the advantage. Like college and pro football are the two hardest.

The only way to make money gambling is to bet one game a week and load up

You bet one game a week. Load up. That's the only way to make money gambling. You cannot make money gambling betting every single day. None, never, has never happened.

Hiring a guy who failed at broadcasting to be a General Manager never fails

The nice thing is you always, when you're an owner of a football team, you always want to find the guy that failed at broadcasting and hire him to be the GM. Yes, exactly. That never, ever fails. Matt Millen. Yes, exactly. That never, ever fails.

A real American stays inside on Sunday and watches the Pro Bowl

Hey, you know what it means to be a real American? You stay inside on Sunday and you watch the Pro Bowl. Yeah, you watch the Pro Bowl. You bet on the Pro Bowl. That's what an American does.

Kentucky basketball fans wouldn't care if Charles Manson were their coach as long as he won titles

I was like, look, let's be real about what [John Calipari's] job is, is to win basketball games and compete for national titles. And I was like, given how the Kentucky fan base is so rabid, they wouldn't care if Charles Manson was their coach as long as he won a title.

Waffle House is garbage

I think Waffle House is garbage. It's just people go there when they're drunk, and they're like, man, Waffle House is really good.

The movie Scarface is overrated

Another trash opinion, overrated movie. It wasn't a box office flop. It was. She doesn't like Scarface.

Matt Ryan has been underappreciated for a long time

I do think Matt Ryan has been underappreciated. I thought this was a serious sports part of the podcast... No, I think Matt Ryan's underappreciated, has long been underappreciated. So I'm rooting for him because I want to see him get a bite of this apple.

Roger Goodell is gaslighting fans into thinking Thursday Night Football is a good product

Well, it's called gaslighting, Big Cat, and it's actually like a thing that works. So Goodell is gaslighting us, which is awesome. He's doing a really good job of it. He's saying, you all enjoyed watching Thursday Night Football. It was a great product. And then if he says enough, I'm like, holy shit. Thursday night football was awesome.

LeBron James' subtweet is the most passive-aggressive thing he has ever done

The big story that we have waiting for the Super Bowl week to start is LeBron with the most passive-aggressive tweet I think I've ever seen... He said, I'm not mad or upset at management... I just feel we still need to improve in order to repeat, dot, dot, dot, if that's what we want to do. That is the most ridiculous subtweet that LeBron has ever, it's not even a subtweet, it's a direct tweet. He didn't add anyone, but he's adding the management.

LeBron James is setting up a pre-planned excuse in case the Cavaliers lose the Finals

[LeBron is] also setting expectations. So, like, if they lose in the finals, like, hypothetically, if it's a 4-0 sweep, hypothetically speaking, that's definitely not me saying that's going to happen. He's got an excuse prepped right there.

I hate that the NCAA is releasing top 16 seeds in mid-February

They are now going to try to drum up a little more intrigue to the NCAA tournament. So they're going to release the top 16 seeds starting mid-February... I hate that. Takes a little bit out of it. One of the great things about that tournament was I didn't have to spend any time thinking about it until that Sunday night.

Barron Trump is officially off-limits for comedy

Cool throne, Barron Trump officially off limits. Can't make fun of Barron Trump. Kids are off limits. No Barron Trump jokes. He's going to be—And the nice thing is, now that no one can make jokes about him, He's going to be a well-adjusted, normal adult. I think it's great.

DeSean Jackson should sue the Instagram model who insulted him to prove a point

DeSean, the only way you can get people to stop talking about your allegedly micropenis is to take her to court, put it in the papers, make sure that everyone knows that if anyone says DeSean Jackson's got a tiny hog, Guess what? He's going to come after you. That's the easiest way to make people shut up.

The NFL is trying to eliminate kickoffs by moving them up to the 30-yard line

Do you feel in the back of your mind that the NFL one day is going to just eliminate kickoffs entirely? Are you worried about that at all? ... They trying to right now. That's why they took it out of the Pro Bowl. So they're trying to get it out. That's why they moved the kick up to the 30 because kickers can kick. So they want them kicking out the end zone every time.

I would love to play running back

I would love to play running back. Whoa, that's another headline grab. I think any receiver in my position would love to play running back. Because people always say he's just a running back when he gets the ball in his hand.

Bringing your girlfriend to watch a big game with you results in losing your Man Card

Bring your girlfriend to watch a big game with you. Yeah, that's probably a man card.

Touching things that are cold is objectively better than touching things that are hot

I'll say this touching things that are cold it's objectively better than touching things [hot]. Correct correct. If i could never touch a hot thing again i'd be happy yes.