Takes

As a pitcher, I would have definitely struck myself out as a hitter

Could you strike out you at your best as a hitter without even with blindfolded probably? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, definitely strike me out. Throw the Hammer High fastball.

David Ross will be a successful manager because he won't let superstars get bigger than the team

David [Ross] has always been that leader on the team anyway... what they did was was you know, they didn't let a superstar get outside of the team. So I think when you understand what he was as a player who he was him stepping into the manager role, it's not I don't think it's really going to be much different for him.

The NFL arranged Colin Kaepernick's workout as a legal strategy to prevent a second lawsuit

I really do think that they are worried they're going to get another lawsuit filed by Colin Kaepernick... It doesn't feel like a genuine attempt to help the guy. It feels like some sort of strategy... to make the league look better.

George Kittle is the best tight end in the NFL

They were missing George Kittle though... that is a big loss because he's probably the best tight end in the NFL.

Russell Wilson is the one player I would trust most with the ball late in a game.

He is for my money the number one guy and I know it kind of spits in the face of the fact that he threw an interception. He is the one guy who I would want trust the most with the ball down late in the game.

Monday night is for cleaning up your life, not drinking and eating wings

I'm more confused to your Monday night like Monday night is for watching football and cleaning up your life not drinking and eating what planet are you? Monday night is not your get your act together sitting at home watching money. Football with beers and wings. That's the cleanup game brother.

Monday night is for easing yourself back into the work week with beers

Incorrect Monday night is ease yourself back into the work week taper off from your Sunday and your Saturday. I'm drinking.

Jackass is the greatest humor of all time.

Jackass is the greatest humor of all time when they fart baby powder in each other's faces... so fucking funny and I'm not being sarcastic whatsoever. Jackass is a masterpiece.

Patrick Mahomes has officially let the Bears off the hook for passing on him by liking a tweet defending the Mitchell Trubisky pick.

Patrick Mahomes liked that tweet... Patrick Mahomes is basically letting Ryan Pace off the hook. He has acknowledged that it was not the right choice for him to be drafted by the Bears and go to Chicago and get ruined.

I would have cut my own finger off like Ronnie Lott to avoid missing any playing time

They told me that story man and I was like, wow, did he actually do that? For real? For real? Did he didn't want to miss any time. So he decided to tell them to just you know, nip the edge... [Big Cat: Would you have done the same?] Without any hesitation. No. Okay. There you go.

Modern NFL players do not commit to their craft as hard as players did in the past.

I think players, they thought I was crazy and they don't have to do [that training] anymore. It's a lot different now and I think guys they just don't—maybe that's not right for me to say—they just don't commit to their craft like we did back in the day.

It is harder to catch a spiral from a left-handed quarterback than a right-handed one.

It is harder to catch a spiral from a lefty. The ball spins a different direction. I had a trainer that was a lefty and he threw me so many balls... I had never caught a ball from a lefty and I had to retrain. It just became natural eventually.

Walter Payton is the greatest football player in Mississippi history

All time I love I love sweetness. Okay. Number one. I will say then myself. [Big Cat: That's a very smart classy move].

The Astros' sign-stealing is blatant cheating and disgusting

The Astros have been cheating and cheating a lot... it's blatant cheating. There's I like baseball when there is like a little He's been ship a little this little that... but this seems like they were actually using high like high-tech cameras in the Outfield yet relaying it to The Dugout and real time... which is so blatant lie cheat ice gusting.

The Astros scandal makes the Nationals' 2019 World Series win more impressive

This makes the Nationals world series title even more impressive. Yeah the fact that they were able to beat him. While they're eating Cheetos... 60% of the Astros runs were scored in the first inning before the Nationals would change how they were doing their signs.

Having pictures with professional cheerleaders on your dating profile is a normal way for guys to show they can act around attractive women.

Taking pictures with professional cheerleaders... and slapping that all over every single social media thing that you have is just part of being a guy. You want to show that you know how to act normal around attractive women, even if they were paid to be there.

A boyfriend yelling at kids on Call of Duty shows passion and means he's a keeper.

Keep him. I think it shows he's got passion. If he wasn't swearing at people, that means he would be good at Call of Duty and that means that he puts in way too much time. You want your boyfriend in that perfect zone where he wants to play video games but then gets smoked so bad that he's like 'Fuck this, I'm out.'

The Vikings can beat any team in the NFC

The Vikings definitely need to be taken for real in terms of the NFC. Like they are a team that could beat anyone in my mind. I don't think there's one team in the NFC where you're like, man, that team [is untouchable] besides maybe the 49ers.

Freddie Kitchens is a legitimately 'dumb, dumb person'

Do you think Freddie just outsmarts himself all the time? No, I think he's legitimately a dumb, dumb person.

The Lions should realistically be over .500

And the Lions got fucked over by the refs twice. They should realistically be over .500.

Brian Flores should be in the Coach of the Year conversation over Frank Reich

I think Brian Flores should be mentioned before Frank Reich in Coach of the Year conversations. [Big Cat: For winning with a tanking team.] Yes. He does more with less.

The most important people to recruit in a living room are the mom and grandma

It's mom and grandma. There's no doubt about that now... They want to know the man in charge, is he going to make sure that he's in good hands?

The Buffalo Bills are fraudulent because their run defense is weak

Buffalo... you can run on that defense. So I'm going to be interested to see this weekend if the Cleveland Browns can help support Baker Mayfield by running the football a little bit on the Buffalo Bills defense.

Kyle Allen is the best backup quarterback currently playing in the NFL

It's definitely got to be Kyle Allen to me... from an ability to make the throws at this level, he's got that ability to make those throws more so than most of those other guys that you mentioned [Minshew, Moore, etc].

The Steelers offense has no confidence in Mason Rudolph

They came out with the wildcat... to me that speaks of we don't have a lot of confidence in this guy... they spent our time teaching our running backs to throw the football in this Wildcat grouping... the team doesn't have a lot of confidence in him.

Russell Wilson is currently the best quarterback in the NFL

Russ is the best quarterback in the NFL right now from passer rating, from yards per attempt, from I think he's like second best in completion percentage above expectation when he's under pressure.

NFL coaches who challenge pass interference are fucking morons

If you're a coach and you challenge pass interference you are a fucking moron. All that the rule has done is just figured out which coaches were dumb and it's given more time for advertisements for the NFL.

Daniel Jones is just a slightly shittier update of the Eli Manning model

Daniel Jones, who is he really is Eli Manning if Eli Manning like he just a little bit shittier version. They updated the model and he has the same type of fumbles interceptions. He can run a little bit.

If you are down 14 points and score a touchdown, you should always go for two

I understand that when you're down 14 and score a touchdown, you should go for two. That's not a brag. I just understand the math, but I think people—coaches now—are getting [criticized] more for being conservative and it's like flipped on its head.

The word 'Boomer' has jumped the shark

Boomer just the word Boomer has invaded like meme and American culture to a point where like I'm sick of it. It's kind of jumped the shark a little bit. But now it's at one of those things where it's like so mainstream it's like harambee after like two months where I was funny in the beginning.

Angela Duckworth is just monetizing the fact that untalented people are too dumb to quit

I saw who wrote the study and it was Angela Duckworth Who is the lady that wrote the grit book. She is grit exploitation. She is the big grit industrial complex. Most of us out there learn to appreciate grit because we had to because we lack talent and sports... we're also dumb enough to not quit. So therefore that's a good quality and I'm going to call it grit and she comes along and she's trying to make money off it.

Matt Painter is the new Bo Ryan and will win 20 to 25 games every year regardless of his roster

Matt Painter's the new Bo Ryan. Regardless of who he has, he's going to win 20 to 25 games every year. So it's death, taxes, Matt Painter.

Harvard has the most talented Ivy League roster I have ever covered

Harvard, most talented Ivy League roster I've ever covered. Tommy [Amaker] has eight high major players. You look at Harvard, you see a team that has the chops to be a second weekend type team in the NCAA tournament talent-wise.

If you are going to threaten someone on Twitter, you should give your home address, not your team's facility address

My problem with what [Jermaine Whitehead] did. Not that he threatened people... My problem is he said meet me at this address and then gave the facility address. If you tell someone to meet you somewhere, it has to be your house, right? Man up.

NFL players shouldn't be allowed to claim to have a broken hand on social media if it's not on the injury report

He's joking, playing with a broken hand? Because that's something you should actually be able to tell everyone like, 'Hey, actually I have a broken hand.' [If he's not on the injury report] Freddie Kitchens might be in trouble.

The Patriots beat themselves more than the Ravens beat them

I think the Ravens played a good game. I think Lamar Jackson is very good. But I think the Patriots beat themselves more than the Ravens beat them... turnovers will bounce their way, but it looks like the Patriots fucked themselves today with too many penalties and too many turnovers.

The Jaguars must start Nick Foles over Gardner Minshew

I think this is a no-brainer. You have to start Nick Foles. And that's not saying Gardner Minshew isn't a quarterback in the NFL going forward, but you have money invested in Nick Foles... Gardner Minshew basically made it so either he plays so well that it's a no-doubter or he shits the bed right before Nick Foles came back. And guess what? He shit the bed.

Kirk Cousins is the quarterback you'd least want in the fourth quarter

If you had to ask yourself starting quarterbacks, who is the guy that you would at least want to have the ball in the fourth quarter to bring a team back to win? I actually think it's Kirk Cousins... He had the ball twice at the end of the game [against the Chiefs], three and out, three and out, and not even close.

Andy Reid is one of the best coaches in NFL history.

Andy Reid deserves more credit for being one of the best coaches in the NFL, probably NFL history. I hope he wins the Super Bowl at some point because this is the 11th season where he's won a game with multiple quarterbacks. He made Matt Moore look good; this is a classic case of coaching matters.

Tyreek Hill would be a better safety than Rob Gronkowski for end-of-game defensive situations.

Why don't they just have Tyreek Hill play safety in end-of-game situations when you just need to chase? He could run down a hook and ladder four different times; he can run down anyone. I would much rather have him than Rob Gronkowski playing safety for them.

Matt Nagy needs to stop calling plays for the Bears

Matt Nagy needs to stop calling football games. He needs to hand over the play calling. It's not for him. It's not working. I like everything is broken. It's not working to do the same thing week in week out is fucking insane.

Russell Wilson is the #1 quarterback you want in a 4th-quarter comeback

I think Russell Wilson is number one now in the NFL. He is the guy who, if you're down in the fourth, you want him to have the ball... He had five touchdowns today. I think that was his fifth comeback fourth-quarter comeback this season.

Chris Carson is the greatest running back in the NFL who actually sucks.

I like Chris Carson, the running back on the Seattle Seahawks, I think he is very good. But he is the best running back in the NFL that sucks. He's the greatest who sucks because he fumbles the ball so frequently; he's got terrible, terrible ball security. He's really good, but he sucks.

Matt Patricia is a 'fake football guy' who just plays one on TV.

Matt Patricia has begun to strike me as a fake football guy. I think he idolizes football guys and aspires to be a football guy who hangs out around football... Basically Matt Patricia is like, 'I play a football guy on TV.' You have to have results to be a true bona fide football guy.

The Browns should fire Freddie Kitchens

Freddie Kitchens is an absolute joke of a head coach. What do you do if you're the Browns? Freddie's got to be one and done. He is in way over his head. You just need to demote him and tell him he still has his job and he's just the offensive coordinator.

Coaching is the only job in the world that is truly recession-proof.

Coaching is the only job that's recession-proof. Because if the rich guys [boosters] lose money, they're not going to buy out, so every coach is safe. You want to be in nursing homes and coaching.

The Nate Diaz vs. Jorge Masvidal fight was stopped too early

They called the fucking fight early... Nate Diaz is the type of guy that I actually like his chances the more he gets the shit kicked out of him in the first three rounds. It wakes him up a little bit. The little nerdy doctor was like, 'No, this guy can't fight,' where Nate Diaz was like, 'No, I have not yet begun to fight.'

The Washington Nationals' World Series win has officially turned around the Chicago Bears' season

I need to say thank you because the Nationals have directly turned around the bear season Matt Nagy put a Out there showing the Nationals today. He is insane. He's mad [Nagy] is so insane fucking to this a fucking PowerPoint.

AJ Hinch should have left Zack Greinke in Game 7 of the World Series

I thought they were out of it. I thought that they were going to leave [Zack] Greinke in which they probably should have done. They took Greinke out after 81 pitches. I was one hit and a walk and they said you're out. If you pull Zack Greinke you put in Gerrit Cole. If you pull Zack Greinke and you put in whoever the hell they put in... that looked like he sells head units at Best Buy.

The Washington Nationals were right to shut down Stephen Strasburg in 2012

I'm going to say they did the right call on the Strasburg shutdown. I'd agree and I want to write they want Flags fly forever. That's right. Absolutely correct.