Braxton Berrios, The Cardinals Suck & Rovell Is Not Racist

The Arizona Cardinals are frauds

The Arizona Cardinals are frauds, absolute frauds. I've been... this podcast has been forefront in the Arizona Cardinals are frauds for the better half of two months now. Kliff Kingsbury fades down the stretch. Kyler Murray... they just don't, they're just not an upper echelon football team.

Kyler Murray has gotten slower, softer, and shorter

Kyler Murray has gotten slower, softer, and shorter... he was getting chased down from behind by guys that were about 150 pounds heavier than him on a regular basis.

The Cardinals were so bad that Matthew Stafford couldn't screw the game up

The Cardinals are so bad tonight, not even Matthew Stafford can fuck this up... It got so like, I'm not even saying when it was whatever it was, the score was a, what? 21 was the 28. Nothing yet. I'm not even saying then I'm saying when it was 14, nothing. I was like, the Cardinals are so bad that Matthew Stafford cannot screw this up.

The Cardinals should hire a defensive mastermind like Dan Quinn or Vic Fangio

I think that this is the type of team that you do the thing where you hire a Vic Fangio where you go with a defensive coordinator has been great. Yeah. You hire a defensive guy. You Zig while everybody else zags... I think as long as you have an average offensive coordinator, if you have like a defensive mastermind leading that team, I think that's the way that you got to go. You hire somebody that maybe you hire Dan Quinn.

Modern science and HGH allowed Cam Akers to return from an Achilles tear in five months

Dude, I don't know what these guys are doing nowadays, but modern science has down to a T. HGH... So you think Cam Akers is today HGH? Got it. Okay. But it was really impressive watching him be able to, he had that burst.

Andy Reid's food metaphors mean the entire NFL is in trouble

Andy Reed really put cake on the hot seat... He just thinks of everything his life as it's related to food. Once he starts thinking about food, he physically gets hungry and then he's going to mentally get hungry. And then the entire NFL, next thing he knows in trouble.

LeBron James is the ultimate coach killer

LeBron and the coach killers back. It looks like Frank Vogel might get fired. There's a lot of rumors right now. No one does it better than him. No one kills a coach better than LeBron... Bron is going to come off the court and just be like, all right, he keeps his job one more game. Give him a look like, yeah, he's just doing the fucking gladiator up and down after every game for Frank Vogel's life.

5G radars will ground all US air travel

Turns out a bunch of the airline CEOs said that the new 5G radars that are getting put on for telecommunications, once they get turned on, it's going to affect a bunch of their planes landing. And that they're going to have to ground all US air travel tomorrow.

Punt returns are scarier than kickoff returns in the NFL

I will wholeheartedly say punt return is scarier than kickoff return, but you will get hit hard on kickoff return because they're running from 60 yards... it's a full-on head-on collision.

COVID-19 causes the human spine to compress and makes you lose height

I used to be five nine, but then I got COVID now I'm five eight. Does it to your spine or does it compresses it... stay safe, I hope that you're vaccinated.

Miami Hurricanes football is currently only a 3 out of 10 for being 'back'

I think Mario Cristobal is the right guy... but right now we're like at a three, three out of 10. You know, like we have the U on our helmet, we have the turnover chain and like, that's about it.

Planned downfield laterals like the 'Cocaine' play only work if they aren't used in desperation

It's great when teams run it when it's not a desperation situation, because if it's desperation, the other team sees it coming a mile away. Absolutely. And they're able to defend it... We had that one in the playbook actually for a few weeks and... it worked phenomenally.

No state income tax is the most important factor in NFL free agency

No state income tax. Okay. All right. Then I would say beach and then brutally cold... I'm indifferent to the division, but no state income tax [is most important].

NFL players should bring two sets of clothes to every game based on the outcome

I think more players should bring two sets of clothes to a game. Like one if you win, one if you lose... when you show up at the podium and you've got like a live, barely dead raccoon wrapped around your head and you're talking about how you went five for 22 with three interceptions, like that's not helping anybody.

Darren Rovell is a net positive on society because of his unintentional comedy

I actually just like watching this all unfold. I think his, I think he actually is a net positive on society just because of how terribly out of touch and insanely hilarious his unintentional comedy is... He gets dunked on for sport at this time.