PMT DB
PMT DB
The 0-3 baseball crew arrived with three completely different forms of emotional damage. The Cubs got steamrolled, the Red Sox watched a playoff game turn into a Ben Rice showcase, and Max experienced the special agony of watching a one-run Phillies lead evaporate on one horrible swing. Big Cat, meanwhile, tried to talk himself into the White Sox as the team of destiny because they got a handwritten letter from the Pope. That is either divine intervention or an extremely aggressive baseball jinx.
Big CatThe White Sox are going to the ALCS
I do think they're just better than the Astros and I think they're better than the Guardians too, so I know that doesn't make sense 'cause the loss is central to 'em. But I think the White Sox are gonna go to the ALCS.
The baseball discourse eventually turned toward the broadcast itself, where Big Cat declared war on NBC's four-man booth situation. His preferred solution is simple: let fans choose the home or away announcers, and stop forcing baseball people who have never worked together to discover chemistry during the playoffs.
Big CatBaseball broadcasts only need one announcer
You just need one announcer in baseball. NBC's doing too much. I'm sorry.
PFT also had some potentially catastrophic news for soccer fans. Man City was found guilty of basically everything it was accused of, and PFT believes the appropriate response is the soccer equivalent of the death penalty. The punishment is still to come, but the phrase “death penalty stuff” has already entered the chat.
Case Keenum's Perfect Night
Then came the main event: Case Keenum, 38 years old, three years removed from throwing an NFL pass, walking into Monday Night Football and carving up the Eagles. The Bears offense was creative, the defense finally looked like the defense everyone hoped it could become, and Ben Johnson somehow made a backup quarterback look like the ideal instrument for a masterpiece.
Big Cat's Ben Johnson stock is no longer merely high. It is leveraged, reckless, and probably illegal in several states.
Big CatI would not trade Ben Johnson for Andy Reid
I think he's the best coach in the NFL. I would not trade him for any other coach in the NFL. I get it. There's coaches that have Super Bowl rings, there's coaches that have been doing it for longer. But if you said, 'Hey, Ben Johnson, trade him for Andy Reid,' I wouldn't do it.
The best part was how Johnson used Keenum's age and reputation against Philadelphia. Everyone expected the quarterback to be a statue, so the Bears kept the Eagles off balance, got the ball out quickly, and eventually sprung Keenum for a gutsy touchdown sneak. Case later explained that Johnson does not believe in “the hay is in the barn.” There is no hay. There is no barn. There are just more plays being installed at 11:47 p.m. on Friday.
Ben Johnson has no hay in the barn
A lot of coaches say, 'The hay's in the barn.' Have you ever heard that saying at the end of the week on Fridays? Fast Friday, we're done, the hay's in the barn. Ben says there is no hay and there is no barn. So he's putting stuff in at the last minute, and some of our best plays are stuff that he's coming up with constantly late in the week.
The Eagles side of the conversation was much less celebratory. Max called the defense an enormous problem, criticized the linebacker decision-making, and reached the point where even Jalen Hurts' good stretches could no longer hide the inconsistency. Big Cat then made the most absolute version of the criticism possible.
Big CatJalen Hurts cannot complete passes outside the pocket
If you get him out of the pocket, it's an auto incompletion if he's not running the ball.
Max's immediate standard for Philadelphia is now simple: if the Eagles look like they did against Chicago when they play the Rams, the season is over. That may be an overreaction after one bad quarter, but it is also exactly the kind of sentence that gets written on a fan's tombstone after a Monday night loss.
MaxIf the Eagles look like this against the Rams, their season is over
If they look like they did last night on Sunday against the Rams, season over.
The quarterback carousel kept spinning when Minnesota sent JJ McCarthy to the Giants for a fifth-round pick. Big Cat argued that the Vikings got more than a draft choice, because they also removed an entire season's worth of “when will JJ play?” questions from the building.
Big CatThe JJ McCarthy trade is addition by subtraction
I think fifth-round pick, I think it's like addition by subtraction where you get a fifth-round pick and you also get this entire narrative headache out of your room.
Hot Seat, Cool Throne, and Cooked Avengers
Hot Seat/Cool Throne brought NBA Media Day weirdness, Ben Simmons claiming he is back in his prime, LeBron's Knicks alternate history, and the eternal question of which Sixer is allowed to be the alpha. Big Cat's cultural red line arrived when Marvel re-released *Infinity War* with a tiny amount of additional footage. After years of Avengers loyalty, he is officially out. A man's got to have a code.
Big CatThe Avengers are cooked
So, as someone who's watched every Avengers up until this point, done. ... You gotta have a code, and that's where I draw the line. I am out on Avengers.
The Carolina Hurricanes also decided that hockey arenas should police profanity around children, which led Big Cat to propose a designated cursing section. The concept is perfect: family seating for people who want clean language, and one corner of the building where the fans can yell like they have just watched a goalie interference review.
Stanford Steve Sees the College Football Picture
Stanford Steve joined in studio with the usual combination of actual film study and extremely specific college football vibes. Texas has the best wins, but Steve is not ready to call the Longhorns the best team. Arch Manning and the offensive line still need to show more, especially once the games get louder and the opponents stop cooperating.
The Oregon-USC game produced the clearest contrast of the weekend. Lincoln Riley's program continues to look like the same explosive offense attached to the same nonfunctional defense, while Dan Lanning's Ducks responded to the Oklahoma State loss with a statement win and quarterback depth most programs cannot afford.
Steve also gave Mississippi State a real chance to win two of its next four against an absurd stretch of Alabama, LSU, Oklahoma, and Texas. That belief is powered by Kamario Taylor, who has gone from intriguing quarterback to one of the most entertaining players in the country.
Stanford SteveMississippi State can win two of its next four games
You have a chance. I mean, I just said Bama is getting better every week. Kamario has gotten better every week. ... Yes, I believe he's capable. I mean, look at who would you rather have at the quarterback position in those matchups? Kamario. So he gives them a shot, man.
Notre Dame is not a concern yet, Michigan should not panic after Iowa, and Penn State's blown 17-point home lead may become the loss everyone remembers in December. Wisconsin's defense earned a lot of respect, which Big Cat enjoyed for obvious reasons, and Steve left the door open for some very chaotic Heisman candidates if they start producing the required weekly “wow” moments.
FAQ and One More Case Keenum Victory Lap
Case Keenum's interview was a perfect reminder that football can still be wonderfully weird. He talked about nearly walking away before Ben Johnson called, his Houston air-raid roots, the hard count that apparently improves with age, and the sacred postgame locker-room shower stories. His kids now believe he really is a quarterback, which is about as good as a Monday night can get.
The show closed with old PMT bits, the Sports Equinox, interview preparation, the impossible promise of Hank's six-pack, and a numbers-and-birthdays segment that briefly became a fact-check on Jimmy Carter. Case Keenum did one for every middle-aged white guy who has ever watched a backup quarterback enter a game and thought, “I could do that.”
And somewhere, Ben Johnson is still adding one more play to the script.
