PMT DB
PMT DB
Chris Berman, Jerry O'Connell, and the Recap of Hank’s Standup Debut
Day 2 in Las Vegas kicked off with the energy only Jerry O'Connell can bring. Sitting in Hank's seat to start the show, JOC didn't waste any time going after the Patriots, much to the delight of everyone in the room except for the ghost of Hank's fandom.
Jerry O'ConnellThe NFL is better when the Patriots are losing
I'm sorry to get right into it about the Patriots, but I do wanna say the NFL is better when the Patriots are losing. I'm not kidding. Think about this season and how exciting it's been. How many ups and downs... when the Patriots aren't in play, it's just more fun. It's wide open.
Jerry brought his briefcase and a full season's worth of regret regarding his management of the PMT high-stakes fantasy team. He went through a brutal division-by-division recap of everything he learned in 2023, which mostly consisted of him apologizing for drafting Darren Waller. He also offered a glimpse into his vision for the future of the league, specifically how Taylor Swift needs to experience the true pain of NFL fandom.
Jerry O'ConnellTaylor Swift should have dated someone on the Panthers to learn that life isn't that easy
I don't wanna say anything negative about Taylor Swift, but that that just, it it, it's unfair that Taylor Swift was basically introduced to the NFL this year. And she's already in the Super Bowl... she should have dated someone on like the Panthers. Yeah. Go to Bank of America Stadium Week 16. That's a fact. I wanna see David Tepper pouring a drink on her.
As the crew moved into Hot Seat/Cool Throne, Big Cat brought up the rumors that Mike Vrabel might be too physically imposing to lead an NFL franchise. The idea that owners are literally scared of their coach's biceps led to a discussion on why some organizations prefer a "tiny little nerd" at the helm.
Big CatMike Vrabel is too physically intimidating to get a head coaching job
She [Diana Russini] said that she had a GM at the Senior Bowl who mentioned to me Vrabel's physical build, that he's a very large human being and can be very intimidating to people in an organization... If you're a football owner, large human beings, you don't wanna be around them. You want a nerd. You want a tiny little nerd.
Before letting JOC go, he delivered another one of his legendary poems, this time targeting Max. It was a rhythmic journey through Max's Philly fandom, his "titty-fucking" prowess, and the time he forgot to hit the record button.
The Swami Returns
For the third year in a row, Chris Berman joined the show for a Super Bowl week tradition. The Schwab brought his usual level of class and deep-seated football knowledge, immediately diving into the Mahomes vs. Brady legacy debate. He wasn't shy about where he places the Chiefs' signal-caller in the all-time hierarchy.
Chris BermanPatrick Mahomes is already in the GOAT discussion with Montana and Brady
He's already in that discussion... he's this ages Brady, or this generation, or this decades, Brady, Montana... He's already there because the potential is he 28 years old? I still think of him as 22 and 23... He gets it. Fascinating to me.
Big Cat and PFT talked through the X-factors of the matchup, with Berman highlighting the unsung heroes in the trenches. While everyone is focused on the star power, Boom pointed to the Chiefs' front as the reason they are even in this position.
Chris BermanThe Chiefs' offensive line is the most underrated unit in the NFL playoffs
The Chiefs offensive line is maybe the most underrated unit in the playoffs. Even though [Joe] Thuney is out... they've been playing great. Patrick Mahomes, the first time he got sacked in the playoffs was second half against Baltimore. It's crazy. Like they, they really are very underrated.
They also discussed the "Taylor Swift effect" on the game. While some old-school fans might be grumbling, Berman embraced the influx of new viewers, noting that anyone who finds the game through her is still a win for the sport. To wrap up the interview, the Swami gave his official prediction for the big game with a very specific, Berman-esque final score.
Chris BermanThe Chiefs will beat the 49ers 22-18 in Super Bowl LVIII
So 22-18. 18. [Big Cat: Oh, I like that.] You get to 18, I mean, there's six... you could kick a lot of field goal. 22-18. The Chiefs, I have them winning.
Hank and Memes Take the Stage
The final leg of the show covered the highly anticipated comedy night in Vegas. While Hank was widely considered a success, Memes didn't have quite the same experience. Memes admitted that despite his prep, the transition from the internet to the stage was a disaster that even his father had to check in on.
MemesI completely bombed my stand-up comedy set
It was just, it was all downhill. I knew it was bad. My dad texted me after he just said, 'you okay'. I was, I was like, I'm, I was like, I'm fine... but even if I prepped a year, you can't, you can't teach public speaking.
Hank, on the other hand, managed to win over the crowd by lashing out at them and sharing some truly bizarre behind-the-scenes stories. The biggest revelation was the dark truth behind his infamous Larry the Goldfish tattoo. It turns out the tattoo looks like a shriveled corpse because Hank literally used a shriveled corpse as the reference photo.
HankThe Larry the Goldfish tattoo looks bad because I used a frozen dead corpse as the reference
I never told you guys. 'cause I knew I would've never heard the end of it... [The tattoo artist] asked for a reference picture. And I was like, whoa, I can get a reference picture. He's in the freezer so let me go take a picture... he had already done the full dead tattoo on my body where I was like, oh my God, this is a dead goldfish. I could've just Googled goldfish and it wouldn't have mattered.
Hank is officially a stand-up comedian, Memes is retired from the stage, and the Swami has spoken.
