PMT DB
PMT DB
Creed Bratton on The Office, Acid Trips, and the Sports Hiatus Mt. Rushmore
It is officially Sports Eve. After months of staring at walls and watching marble racing, real games are finally back on the horizon. Big Cat and PFT Commenter are buzzing with a level of energy that PFT describes as a "natural cocaine," while Hank is just ready to laugh at the guys for claiming sports are back for the sixteenth time this summer.
The Bubble Life and Slim Melo
The NBA Bubble is finally a reality, and the first looks at the court have the guys feeling a mix of excitement and confusion. Between Myers Leonard chugging beers and Dwight Howard questioning the existence of vaccines, the content is already elite. Big Cat is keeping his eye on the long game, specifically how weird it’s going to get when the stakes actually matter.
Big CatThe NBA Bubble won't feel weird until the conference finals
I actually think it's not going to be that weird to start. But once we get into, like, the conference finals, it's going to be fucking bizarre to have, like, games go on with no fans and just, like, big, big moments happen to, you know, 20 people in the room.
PFT has some thoughts on how LeBron James will handle the lack of fans, predicting a very specific jersey swap to celebrate his brand as the ultimate family man.
PFT CommenterLeBron James will put 'James Sr.' or 'Father of Three' on the back of his NBA jersey
This would be – it would be so LeBron if he came out with a James Sr. on the back of his jersey... Or just father of three. Very tasteful... Father of – and then Roman numerals probably.
Speaking of the Bubble, Hot Seat/Cool Throne featured a major shoutout to Slim Melo. Carmelo Anthony is looking lean and ready for Orlando, and PFT has a theory that this specific setting is where Melo actually thrives.
PFT CommenterCarmelo Anthony will dominate in the NBA Bubble because it mimics the Olympic Village environment
This is actually the perfect environment for Carmelo Anthony because when does he perform at his best? In the Olympics, right? When the athletes are confined to a certain type of village... living under the bubble.
Creed Bratton: Rock Legend
Creed Bratton joined the show to discuss his new album *Slightly Altered*, but the conversation quickly veered into his wild history in the 1960s music scene. Most fans know him as the mysterious quality assurance manager from *The Office*, but before that, he was playing to crowds of 200,000 with The Grass Roots.
Creed shared a legendary story about dropping acid before a show at the Fillmore and hallucinating that his guitar notes were falling off the speakers as physical objects on staff paper. He spent the set on his hands and knees with an imaginary dustbin trying to sweep the notes back into the amp. He also touched on the "Creed" persona, explaining that while he's much calmer than his character, his real-life rock and roll history provided the demented foundation for the role.
Mount Rushmore of the Sports Hiatus
With sports returning, the guys took a look back at the four-month void that changed us all. This was the "remember when" to end all drafts. PFT didn't hesitate to take the definitive cultural phenomenon of the lockdown with the first overall pick.
PFT CommenterThe 'Tiger King' cultural phenomenon will be the number one most remembered thing from the 2020 sports hiatus
I'm going to go with Tiger King... I think it's more than worthy of my top pick, if not the one overall.
Hank used his picks to remind everyone how quickly we realized that drinking with your friends on a computer screen was a miserable substitute for the real thing.
HankZoom happy hours suck and the novelty wore off in two weeks
Zoom happy hours. Remember when people tried to make that a thing? Everyone acted like, oh, we don't see our friends, so let's do a happy hour on Zoom. And then I think people did it for like a week or two... Everyone realized it sucked.
Big Cat focused on the things that actually kept us busy, like the endless onslaught of the "Wood" meme that hijacked every single group chat in America for a month straight.
Big CatThe 'Wood' meme will be remembered as the dominant group chat prank of the 2020 quarantine
Wood memes. When they were just... That was all anyone could text for about a week and a half... Every fucking text you opened. Every link you clicked on.
He also didn't forget the media moments that felt massive at the time but ended up being total duds, specifically calling out Jay Glazer for his massive hype-up of a relatively minor news story.
Big CatJay Glazer 'held the world hostage' with a dud scoop about a player getting COVID
Jay Glazer held the world hostage for 24 hours thinking he was going to break the biggest news ever and then just told us a guy [Brian Allen] got coronavirus. But he was fine. Hundreds of thousands of, I think millions, yeah, millions of people have had coronavirus and he was like, big news coming tomorrow.
To wrap up the draft, the guys discussed the charity efforts during the hiatus, leading to a heated breakdown of the Roger Goodell and Marlins Man saga. PFT didn't hold back on the Commish's refusal to take the orange-jerseyed legend's money.
PFT CommenterRoger Goodell effectively 'starved children' by refusing a $250,000 charitable donation from Marlins Man
Never forget that Roger Goodell elected to starve children instead of accepting money from Marlins Man... That Goodell is not accepting for children.
Guys on Chicks and Performance Kilts
In a classic Guys on Chicks, the guys helped a listener whose boyfriend is obsessed with calling her butt a "dump truck" even though it isn't. PFT explained that this is actually the highest compliment a male can give because it compares her to heavy machinery he loved when he was six.
The conversation then shifted to fashion and the inevitable rise of the "performance kilt."
PFT CommenterPutting an Under Armour logo on a kilt would make men willing to wear dresses
Somebody just needs to invent... If you slap an Under Armour logo onto a kilt or onto just any sort of nice, flowy, long skirt, you can make a dude wear anything. You're just like, this is a sport performance kilt. A guy will wear a dress. It's a golfing kilt.
Billy Football also made his official return to the fold, and while he was briefly "canceled" by Big Cat for some questionable takes, he ended the show with a poetic monologue about climbing mountains and looking at stars.
Don't buy the ball gag from the exercise equipment site.
