Ernie Johnson

You have to suck for a long time before you are allowed to be good in the NBA

I'm a big pay your dues guy. So I can appreciate that. You have to suck for a while before you're allowed to be good at it. Those are the rules. It took Jesus like 30 years before he started washing whores' feet and making miracles. You got to pay your dues. You got to go out there. You got to be a carpenter for a while before you can be a messiah.

The Clippers are officially in America's 'friend zone'

Here's the thing about the Clippers. They're not a threat to do anything. They're in the friend zone. They're in America's friend zone... I'm totally comfortable with them taking me home on a late night and walking me back. I know it's going to be a hug and I'm going to go into my house.

The Cavaliers are scared of the Bulls and punted the number one seed to avoid them

Are the Cavs scared of the Bulls? Because it all signs point to yes they have punted on the number one seed which means we have the inter podcast matchup Celtics-Bulls.

The Bulls will win exactly one game in their playoff series against the Celtics

They're [the Bulls] going to win one game. That was talking Bulls.

Betting over/unders in NHL playoffs is the biggest rush in gambling due to empty netters

My favorite part about the NHL playoffs is betting the over-unders. There's no bigger rush in gambling than the last minute empty netters.

AJ McCarron's sushi restaurant will be a huge hit in Tuscaloosa

AJ McCarron's getting into the game... He's opening a sushi restaurant in Tuscaloosa, Alabama... It's called Agent Sushi... I'm sure it will be a big hit in Tuscaloosa. It seems like a big sushi crowd.

Atlanta is primarily a college football town rather than a pro sports town

It is a football town. I mean, you know, it's more of a college football state it really is... Saturdays in the fall are all about them dogs. That's by Alabama, the University of Georgia.

Only the Spurs, Warriors, or Cavaliers can win the NBA title this year

Can you give us a team, not named the Spurs, Warriors, or Cavs, that can win the NBA title this year? [Ernie]: No.

If forced to pick a sleeper team, the Wizards are the only other team with a chance

If I have to name one [other team to win], Wizards.

United Airlines should fix its PR by making people horny with porn links

If you make us horny, guess what? We're not angry anymore... Just tweet out porn. Be like, hey, it's now being reported that this guy was a porn freak or something. Be like, hey, you know who else was a porn freak? United. And then just start giving us free links.

Tony Romo's legacy is taking a hit because he looks unathletic and has man breasts

Tony Romo's legacy is taking a hit from this because, one, he looks super unathletic. Two, part of that is I now see that he has man breasts.

Tony Romo is a coward if he doesn't check into the Mavericks game

I'd just like to say that if Tony Romo doesn't play, if he doesn't choose coach out to get in that game, he's a coward. Doesn't love the game.

The Patriots brought in Adrian Peterson specifically to injure him so no one else could sign him

The Patriots specifically just brought Peterson in to try to injure him in a workout so that no other team could get him.