PMT DB
PMT DB
Ice Cube, Mike Portnoy, and the Greatest Sports Do-Overs
Big Cat and PFT Commenter are getting into the swing of things with Spring Training around the corner, which means it is officially time for the most predictable storylines in sports media. From the guy who is inevitably in the best shape of his life to the bizarre injuries that only seem to happen to baseball players, the guys are ready for the grind. Big Cat specifically finds the lack of common sense in the big leagues to be part of the game's allure.
Big CatBaseball players' stupidity has become a charming part of the sport
I love how baseball players, it's become charming how stupid they are. I mean, it's just really, they're just a bunch of stupid people and everyone says, 'Oh, isn't this so funny?'
They also noted that for certain fanbases, the February optimism is usually just a countdown to disaster. If you're a Mets fan, you aren't looking at the standings; you're looking at surgical schedules.
Big CatMets spring training is essentially just a timeline update on Tommy John surgeries
It's also a.k.a. just Mets spring training. That's just basically all of Mets spring training is, oh, hey, all of our pitchers are somewhere in the timeline of Tommy John, so let's just update everyone on that.
Sports Do-Overs and Historical Fixes
Inspired by Adele’s technical mishap at the Grammys, Big Cat and PFT took a look at what sports moments they would give a "do-over." While Hank went with the Browns firing Bill Belichick, PFT took it to a much darker, more global place with Jesse Owens at the 1936 Olympics.
PFT CommenterJesse Owens should have killed Adolf Hitler at the 1936 Olympics
My Adele do-over is I think that Jesse Owens should have killed Hitler at the 1936 Olympics. Big Jimbo on his part, not taking out the hit stick. We say that Jesse Owens is like one of the greatest Americans, but in reality, he has the deaths of millions on his hands.
Big Cat shifted the focus to the Cold War, suggesting that the entire trajectory of the 20th century could have been different if the Soviets had just been slightly better at hockey in Lake Placid.
Big CatThe Soviet Union would have won the Cold War if they had beaten the US in the 1980 'Miracle on Ice' hockey game
I have two. One is a historical one with the Russians, which they had to do over in 1980. They would have won the Cold War if they won that hockey game. People forget that that was not the gold medal game, though. That was the semifinals.
Ice Cube on the Lakers and the BIG3
The legendary Ice Cube joined the office to promote his movie *Fist Fight*, but the conversation quickly shifted to his diehard Lakers fandom. Big Cat tried to poke the bear by suggesting Kobe Bryant was just a Michael Jordan clone, a take that Ice Cube shut down immediately.
Big CatKobe Bryant failed in his attempt to copy Michael Jordan's entire career
Do you ever sit back and you are like, damn, Kobe Bryant tried to copy everything Michael Jordan did and he totally failed?
When asked to rank the greatest Lakers of all time, Cube didn't hesitate. For him, the conversation starts and ends with the Magic/Bird era that saved the league.
Ice CubeMagic Johnson is the greatest basketball player and the number one Laker of all time
Magic Johnson. Without a doubt. He's the number one basketball... him and Larry Bird, they are the NBA. Magic and Bird put NBA in prime time.
Cube also spoke passionately about the state of the NFL, specifically his frustration with the Raiders leaving Oakland. He believes the league's massive profits should be used to protect the fans who built the franchises.
Ice CubeThe NFL should build stadiums for teams so they don't have to move
They should stay. The NFL should build them a stadium. I mean, damn, the NFL making all this money, man. Build your teams a stadium so they don't have to move. Try that. They're making billions and they want taxpayers to pay for it.
The People's Lawyer: Mike Portnoy
Barstool’s favorite legal mind, Mike Portnoy, called in to discuss PFT and Hank’s recent run-in with security at the Westminster Dog Show. After diagnosing the situation as a potential kidnapping by "jackbooted thugs," the conversation turned to the new 56-page Barstool employee handbook. Big Cat and PFT are refusing to sign it, specifically the parts about "horseplay," and Mr. Portnoy suggested a strategy of simply losing the document repeatedly.
He also shared his general grievances with modern technology, specifically the impossibility of reaching a human being when using ride-sharing apps or internet companies.
Mr. PortnoyCustomer service lines intentionally disconnect you when transferring to customer relations
Then when you start to talk about why you're calling, you know what happens? They'll say, oh, we're in the sales department. We're going to transfer you over to Customer relations, and then what do you think happens? You get disconnected. I've lived through this.
Closing the Week
The show wrapped up with a very special "Locker Room Talk" featuring a surprise call from Lenny Dykstra, who seemed very interested in hosting various contests that we probably can't describe in a family-friendly recap. We also got a Man Card segment regarding the President’s refusal to participate in a beloved March Madness tradition. Big Cat thinks the decision is more than just a scheduling conflict.
Big CatDonald Trump not filling out a March Madness bracket is the most treasonous thing a person could do
Trump has said that he's not filling out a bracket for March Madness. Not filling out a bracket is probably the most treasonous thing you could do. I agree. I think that this could be what flips some Republicans.
Between the legal advice, the rap battle, and the potential for a Jamarcus Russell comeback, it was the most PMT episode to ever PMT.
Good luck to everyone trying to avoid a shart at their girlfriend's parents' house this weekend.
