PMT DB
PMT DB
Jay Pharoah, Hard Knocks Bummer, and Billy's Foot Fetish Business
Football is technically back with Hard Knocks, but the vibe is off. Big Cat and PFT are realizing that without the preseason, watching training camp feels like a chore. There’s no payoff to seeing an undrafted free agent grind if we don't see him get cooked in a real game on Thursday night.
Big CatHard Knocks needs the preseason to be good
Here's my theory. Hard Knocks needs the preseason because you watch Hard Knocks on Tuesday nights and then you watch the actual games happen and you see what's happening on the field. You're like, oh, there's that cornerback that we keep hearing about who's trying to make the team. We've lost that element. So now we're just watching like, oh, let's just check in with this training camp. It kind of ruins everything.
While the Rams and Chargers occupy our Tuesday nights, Big Cat has found a new hobby: looking at old World Cup stadiums that are currently being reclaimed by the earth.
Big CatStadiums built for the World Cup in Brazil and China are starting to fall apart and it's awesome to look at
If anyone out there is like me who loves to look at empty stadium porn, we are in the perfect spot for all the stadiums in Brazil to the World Cup was played in they're starting to fall apart and it's fucking sick to look at. In China right now... it's getting good again. Overgrown with vines. They look like the Astrodome.
Hot Seat, Cool Throne, and Billy's Big Reveal
Hot Seat/Cool Throne took a turn for the bizarre when the topic of OnlyFans came up. While most people are using the platform for traditional content, Billy Football decided to capitalize on a specific niche. After fans noticed his questionable footwear choices on the stream, Billy realized there was a market for his size 14 wide feet.
Billy FootballI started an OnlyFans for my feet called Billy Feetball
I actually have a confession to make. I have an OnlyFans. Ever since I wore my toe shoes, people actually started DMing me asking me for feet pics. They were offering money and I actually set one up. It's Billy Feetball. I've been making... around under $1000 but over... I've made $800 around there.
On the actual sports side of things, PFT put Bryson DeChambeau on the Hot Seat for some light dog-related fraud. It turns out Bryson tried to claim a golden retriever helped him win a tournament years before the dog was actually born.
PFT CommenterBryson DeChambeau lied about his dog to get internet clout
Bryson DeChambeau got him Duffy big time in a massive massive internet controversy. He took a picture with their golden retriever, Trigger is a name of this dog. And he said this dog Trigger was here and helped me win the amateur open back in 2015. Well record scratch, it turns out the Trigger, the sweet boy, was born in 2017. So Bryson got him tied up trying to chase them internet clout like a dog chasing his tail. Got caught big time.
Big Cat also targeted Chris Webber, who has been struggling in the NBA bubble booth. The comparison to Michael Scott is almost too accurate: starting a sentence and just praying the point appears before the period. Speaking of the playoffs, Big Cat is fully leaning into the Jazz and Nuggets being the exact same entity.
Big CatThe Jazz and the Nuggets are the exact same team
I have to admit fully. I think the Jazz and the Nuggets are the exact same team. Both altitude, kind of similar colors. Like if you tell me Jazz nuggets, nuggets Jazz, I'm just like yeah, those are all the same guys. Like if you use lists the names and like you could tell me Donovan Mitchell's on the Nuggets. Neither of them are winning the championship, right? Correct.
Jay Pharoah on SNL and the Art of the Impression
Comedian Jay Pharoah joined the show to talk about his new movies and his time at Saturday Night Live. He cleared the air on the headlines claiming he "dissed" the show, explaining that it was more about the frustration of being Typecast as "the impression guy." He shared an incredible story about Kanye West calling him to talk about himself for fifteen minutes and the time Scarlett Johansson spoiled the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight for the entire cast during the goodnights.
Naturally, the conversation turned to the legends of his home region in Virginia. While the area is a factory for NFL talent, Jay knows exactly who the king of the 757 is.
Jay PharoahAllen Iverson is one of the greatest basketball players we have ever witnessed
I will tell you, one of the greatest basketball players that we have ever witnessed with some of the quickest handles and some of the best most precise pivot movements ever. He's a good face for the Tidewater area, I would definitely say that for sure.
Before letting him go, Big Cat asked Jay to settle a bet regarding Kevin Hart's most ridiculous lines and looked ahead to the upcoming boxing exhibition between Mike Tyson and Roy Jones Jr.
Big CatThe Mike Tyson vs Roy Jones Jr. exhibition fight is going to suck
The Tyson fight, I can tell you right now, I'm going to spoil it for you. It's gonna suck and we're all going to pay way too much money to watch two old dudes go around the ring and throw jabs at each other.
Talking Soccer and Duck Sex
The show wrapped up with a massive Talking Soccer update as Lionel Messi officially requested a transfer from Barcelona. While the world speculates on his next club, the guys are busy comparing his resume to Cristiano Ronaldo’s, specifically regarding their off-field "stats."
Big CatMessi is better than Ronaldo because he is better at cheating on his taxes
Messi is probably got like a billion... He's better at shooting us, he got away with cheating on taxes for longer than Ronaldo did. Rinaldo you bitch. Messy has one, two, three, four, five, six golden boots. Count the booties.
Finally, Guys on Chicks featured a disturbing question about mating ducks that led to Billy sharing way too much knowledge about avian anatomy. Apparently, when you're an intern who loves nature, you learn some things that are better left off the airwaves.
If you need a size 14 wide foot pic, you know exactly where to find Billy.
