Jay Pharaoh, Hard Knocks Is A Bummer, And Billy Has A Secret Only Fans

Hard Knocks needs the preseason to be good

Here's my theory. Hard Knocks needs the preseason because you watch Hard Knocks on Tuesday nights and then you watch the actual games happen and you see what's happening on the field. You're like, oh, there's that cornerback that we keep hearing about who's trying to make the team. We've lost that element. So now we're just watching like, oh, let's just check in with this training camp. It kind of ruins everything.

The Jazz and the Nuggets are the exact same team

I have to admit fully. I think the Jazz and the Nuggets are the exact same team. Both altitude, kind of similar colors. Like if you tell me Jazz nuggets, nuggets Jazz, I'm just like yeah, those are all the same guys. Like if you use lists the names and like you could tell me Donovan Mitchell's on the Nuggets. Neither of them are winning the championship, right? Correct.

Every NBA lottery team should have the exact same odds to win

He [Mike Greenberg] thinks that every team in the lottery should have the exact same chance of winning the lottery. That's actually not a crazy crazy idea that's actually been talked about because it would basically take away tanking. It's the anti-tank rule. I don't hate that.

The Islanders are a team of destiny

I'm just going to circle one: Islanders team of destiny. I don't know, just feeling it. Very trust. And I just, I don't know, just gonna circle it.

I started an OnlyFans for my feet called Billy Feetball

I actually have a confession to make. I have an OnlyFans. Ever since I wore my toe shoes, people actually started DMing me asking me for feet pics. They were offering money and I actually set one up. It's Billy Feetball. I've been making... around under $1000 but over... I've made $800 around there.

Bryson DeChambeau lied about his dog to get internet clout

Bryson DeChambeau got him Duffy big time in a massive massive internet controversy. He took a picture with their golden retriever, Trigger is a name of this dog. And he said this dog Trigger was here and helped me win the amateur open back in 2015. Well record scratch, it turns out the Trigger, the sweet boy, was born in 2017. So Bryson got him tied up trying to chase them internet clout like a dog chasing his tail. Got caught big time.

Chris Webber is a terrible announcer

Chris Webber is a terrible announcer and he's getting exposed because he's been calling it feels like the important game every single night and holy shit does he suck. Chris Webber is the Michael Scott? Sometimes I start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. It's hard to trend as an announcer two nights in a row without saying anything actually controversial... he's just trending because he's bad.

Allen Iverson is one of the greatest basketball players we have ever witnessed

I will tell you, one of the greatest basketball players that we have ever witnessed with some of the quickest handles and some of the best most precise pivot movements ever. He's a good face for the Tidewater area, I would definitely say that for sure.

The Mike Tyson vs Roy Jones Jr. exhibition fight is going to suck

The Tyson fight, I can tell you right now, I'm going to spoil it for you. It's gonna suck and we're all going to pay way too much money to watch two old dudes go around the ring and throw jabs at each other.

Messi is better than Ronaldo because he is better at cheating on his taxes

Messi is probably got like a billion... He's better at shooting us, he got away with cheating on taxes for longer than Ronaldo did. Rinaldo you bitch. Messy has one, two, three, four, five, six golden boots. Count the booties.