PMT DB
PMT DB
Malik Monk, Mark Stoops, and the Kentucky Sports Radio Takeover
Summertime PMT is in full swing, which means the guys are leaning into the most ridiculous debates possible to fill the void. Between the Serena Williams vs. the world news cycle and the NBA's weirdly delayed award show, there was plenty of nonsense to sift through. Big Cat and PFT are especially bothered by the NBA's attempt to make Adam Silver a comedy star, though PFT sees a cinematic future for the commissioner.
PFT CommenterNBA Commissioner Adam Silver will appear in a blockbuster movie as himself within the year
The only thing Silver hasn't done yet, I don't think, I can't recall him appearing in a movie as himself, like a big blockbuster movie, but I guarantee within the next year he's going to do it.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne
Hot Seat/Cool Throne covered the essentials, including Martin Shkreli's jury selection struggles and the annual NFL news dump coming this Friday. PFT put Chick-fil-A on the Cool Throne for their universal popularity but offered some free consulting on how they could actually maximize their profits.
PFT CommenterChick-fil-A would sell 16% more chicken if they opened on Sundays
I've actually got a foolproof idea for how you guys can sell at least 16% more chicken. ... Open your [restaurants] on Sundays. That's the only day of the week that I want to eat Chick-fil-A is when I'm hungover on Sunday and it's always closed.
Big Cat shifted the focus to the Bulls front office, specifically Gar Foreman somehow receiving an Executive of the Year vote. While theories range from a pity vote by Milwaukee to a troll vote from Tom Thibodeau, Big Cat is convinced he knows exactly who checked that box.
Big CatThe Bulls front office vote for Executive of the Year was a self-vote by Gar Foreman
Gar Foreman, he got a single vote for executive of the year. ... I still think it was himself I think it was himself it's like James Harden getting one vote for defensive player of the year yeah survey says it was himself
Mount Rushmore of Middle School Snacks
The guys held a high-stakes snake draft for the definitive Mount Rushmore of middle school and elementary school lunch snacks. It was a nostalgic trip through processed sugar and synthetic cheese. Hank snagged Gushers first overall, while Big Cat went with Dunkaroos and Capri Suns. PFT rounded things out with Lunchables and Zebra Cakes. It was less of a ranking and more of a list of foods the guys are currently sad they can't eat while on their diets.
Malik Monk and Mark Stoops
Fresh off being drafted 11th overall by the Hornets, Malik Monk joined the show to talk about the transition to the pros. He didn't hold back on his confidence, especially when it comes to the owner of his new team. Monk is fully prepared to get dunked on in practice after his bold claims about MJ.
Malik MonkI can beat a 54-year-old Michael Jordan one-on-one
I mean, I always think of somebody who's a lot older than me. In the 50s, I have a pretty good shot of winning. ... No, I was just saying that because he's pretty older now. I think I have a pretty good shot at it.
Monk also doubled down on his shooting prowess compared to the greatest shooter to ever live, claiming that while he respects the greats, his confidence is simply at an all-time high.
Malik MonkI have better shooting range than Steph Curry
My confidence is in the all-time high, so I'm always going to think I have a better range, even though I don't. ... [I've] got better [range]. Period.
As for his future production, the guys got Monk to put a very specific number on his future career-high in points.
Malik MonkMy career-high for points in an NBA game will be 59
59? [PFT: 59 points from Malik Monk. That's right in stone.] Yep.
The show also featured highlights from Big Cat and PFT guest-hosting Kentucky Sports Radio. They managed to put Coach Cal on the hot seat in front of his own fans, with PFT floating a conspiracy theory about why Kentucky hasn't won more lately.
PFT CommenterJohn Calipari intentionally finishes in the Final Four instead of winning titles to avoid NCAA sanctions
Calipari, yeah, he's crooked. He's rigged. But guess what? He's not drawing all that attention to himself by flaunting his rings. He's staying right behind. He's got his rabbit pace car that he's chasing. And he's fine. That's how he gets away with it. That's why he's slick Cal.
Mark Stoops also stopped by to defend the honor of the football program and tell stories about his brother Bo taking the fall for a car accident back in high school. The guys didn't exactly make friends with the locals when they started comparing Kentucky's pride and joy to New York's finest artisanal products.
PFT CommenterBrooklyn artisanal craft bourbon is better than Kentucky bourbon
Your bourbon is second best in America to Brooklyn artisanal craft bourbon. ... Brooklyn is where you find the best bourbon in America. ... Japanese whiskey, however, is better than both Brooklyn and Kentucky.
Trouble in Paradise and James Harrison
The guys checked in on the beef between Vince Young and Jeff Fisher, with Vince promising to "expose" his former coach. Big Cat pointed out that exposing Jeff Fisher usually just involves looking at his career winning percentage. The conversation led to a reflection on the legendary USC-Texas Rose Bowl and the surprisingly high bust rate of the superstars on the field that night.
Big CatVince Young, Matt Leinart, Reggie Bush, and Lendale White were all pro busts
Reggie Bush, who's been pretty much a bust. So it's Reggie Bush, Lendale White, Vince Young, and Matt Leinart. Wow.
Finally, James Harrison is back to posting terrifying workout videos, which PFT believes should be the foundation of a total American rebrand to scare off foreign adversaries.
PFT CommenterThe US needs to replace Uncle Sam with James Harrison as its national rebrand
The US is in need of a rebrand. Uncle Sam, I'm kind of sick of Uncle Sam, like the tall guy with the beard. Just put James Harrison in the Uncle Sam outfit. No country will fuck with us.
If the James Harrison videos don't work, we can always just show the world the clip of the UFC fighter who had a defensive intestinal malfunction on Sunday night.
Good luck to the Charlotte Bobcats this season.
