PMT DB
PMT DB
NFL Week 2 Recap: Josh Allen for MVP, Matt Patricia's Layers, and Bronny's Weed
NFL Week 2 is officially in the books, and if Week 1 was about getting our bearings, Week 2 was about pure, unadulterated chaos. Big Cat and PFT Commenter are coming to you from a random bedroom in Philadelphia to celebrate the Barstool Sportsbook launch, and their brains are already melting from the wall-to-wall sports action. The Sunday night finale between the Patriots and Seahawks was a certified heater, proving that even in a loss, the post-Brady era in New England might be more fun than we thought.
Big CatCam Newton looks healthy and the Patriots offense looks very promising
Cam Newton looks good. He looks healthy. The Patriots were very promising. Yes, very, very good. I would watch these two teams [Patriots and Seahawks] play every single week. He has absolutely no hesitation running the ball or passing it, his shoulder looks really, really good right now.
The NFC North is a Mess
Up in Detroit, things are getting ugly. Matt Patricia's Lions blew another double-digit lead, marking their 11th straight loss. PFT Commenter noticed that as the losses pile up, the head coach seems to be adding physical layers of padding to match the frustration of the fans.
PFT CommenterMatt Patricia is literally eating his losses as they pile up
I think Matt Patricia is eating his losses. He looks large and those losses are piling up because they've lost now 11 in a row. He's layering up. He was certainly getting into layer season a little bit early. He's all seven-layer dip on Matt Patricia's body.
Meanwhile, the Packers are looking like a problem. Aaron Rodgers is playing with the kind of spite that only comes from your team drafting your replacement in the first round. PFT Commenter is officially terrified of what a motivated Rodgers means for the rest of the league.
PFT CommenterThe Aaron Rodgers 'Fuck You Tour' is officially happening this year
Aaron Rodgers the 'fuck you' tour is happening this year. I've come to accept it and I'm very, very scared. They do need to figure out how to keep Aaron Rodgers pissed off for an entire season. They have to have a strategy because right now they're toasting off their master class of drafting Jordan Love.
In Chicago, the Bears moved to 2-0 in the most Chicago way possible: a rollercoaster performance from Mitch Trubisky that somehow ended in a win. Big Cat is enjoying the view from the catbird seat but remains a realist about beating the Giants and Lions. Speaking of the Giants, Daniel Jones is starting to look less like a young Eli and more like a guy who just really enjoys fumbling.
Big CatDaniel Jones is officially not the second coming of Eli Manning
I think we can officially say that Daniel Jones is not Eli Manning. I haven't seen anything from Daniel Jones that makes me be like, 'Oh, that guy's good' besides like he looks good when he's walking into the locker room.
Narrative Alerts and MVP Candidates
If you were still holding onto your Josh Allen hate, it's time to turn it in at the local gun buyback station. Allen put up 400 yards against the Dolphins, and the guys are officially ready to lead the parade for his trophy case.
Big CatJosh Allen is a legitimate MVP candidate
Josh Allen for MVP. It is people talking about honestly, I'll accept an apology from anyone at this point... he's fucking fun.
Over in the AFC South, Ryan Tannehill is making everyone who laughed at the "taking the next step" meme look like an idiot. The Titans are humming, and Tannehill has quietly evolved into one of the most efficient passers in the game.
Big CatRyan Tannehill is officially a top-10 quarterback
Ryan Tannehill is just like a top-10 quarterback right now... 44 out of 60, 460 yards, six touchdowns, zero interceptions. He finally was like, 'Fuck it, you guys want to keep making fun of me for taking the next step? I'm going to take the next step.'
While Tannehill rises, the Jets continue their descent into the abyss. Adam Gase decided to kick a field goal while down 21 points late in the game, a move so cowardly that PFT Commenter believes it signals the end of his tenure.
PFT CommenterKicking a field goal while down 21 points is the 'death rattle' for an NFL head coach
Adam Gase kicked ass at field goal of the week. Down 24-3, fourth and goal on the seven, kicked a field goal. That right there tells you that's like the death rattle for a coach. That's a box score move. That's not a football winning move. It's an absolute disaster.
The Ravens are Inevitable
Watching the Ravens play the Texans felt less like an NFL game and more like a Saturday afternoon in Tuscaloosa. Lamar Jackson and company are simply running through professional defenses with a level of ease that shouldn't be possible. Big Cat is so confident in their system that he thinks the punting unit is basically ornamental at this point.
Big CatI could be the punter for the Ravens and they would still win 13 games
I think I could be the punter for the Ravens this year and not cost them any games. Easily. They never go for... they always go for it. I think I could punt for the Ravens and we'd still go, I'd say, 13 and 3.
Big CatThe Ravens should extend Lamar Jackson immediately to get a better deal
When are we going to get the conversation going for you should extend Lamar Jackson now? Pay him now. Pay him Lamar. Yeah, right now, because they're going to get a hell of a deal out of him.
Who's Back of the Week
To wrap things up, the guys looked at the world of the NBA bubble where the Lakers are closing in on a title. While LeBron James is busy teaching geometry on Twitter with his "expanding the square" philosophy, his son Bronny was making headlines for a very different kind of smoke. Big Cat was actually impressed with the technique.
Big CatBronny James Jr. is better at smoking weed than I am
I would say I would say something like that. Yeah, smoking the nuggets pack. He's better at smoking weed than I am. Oh, he's what, 16 years old? He's great at smoking.
Finally, PFT Commenter welcomed back the crisp air of fall, a spiritual awakening for all the big guys out there who are tired of sweating through their shirts in the summer heat.
PFT CommenterThe return of 'crisp air' is the best feeling for big guys
The crisp air is all the way back. I like it. When you're a bigger guy, it looks like a big dog getting their life back when the crisp air comes. I feel like I could just run, I have the Zoomies. I hope someday, many years from now when I die, it's just sitting outside in the crisp air.
Just don't tell the Falcons the season is still going, they might actually have to stop an onside kick.
