PMT DB
PMT DB
Football is officially back, sort of. Big Cat and PFT Commenter opened the show by choosing their own adventure for the Hall of Fame Game, which as we all know, is mostly about hearing that NBC music and seeing the helmets before doing literally anything else with your night.
Big CatThe Hall of Fame Game is the number one 'watch for five minutes, then turn it off' game of the year
The Hall of Fame Game is the number one 'I'm gonna watch it for five minutes, hear the music, see the helmets, and then turn it off' Game of the year.
While the preseason is for the benchwarmers, the trade market has been on fire. PFT is riding high on the Washington Commanders landing Stefon Diggs, though he's already managing expectations by reminding everyone that Diggs isn't necessarily the top dog in DC.
PFT CommenterStefon Diggs is the best number two receiver in the NFL
He is the self-proclaimed best number two receiver in the NFL. I agree with that assessment entirely. Like the offense does feel a lot better with a solid number two to Terry, so that's great.
Speaking of superstars, Big Cat has officially reached the "delusional but data-driven" stage of his Cubs fandom. He’s pushing the Pete Crow-Armstrong for NL MVP agenda so hard that even the statisticians are starting to sweat. He’s got the defensive runs saved, he’s got the triples, and most importantly, he’s not Shohei Ohtani.
Big CatPete Crow-Armstrong should be the National League MVP over Shohei Ohtani
Now that Shohei is not pitching, PCA should be the MVP. I think most people are coming around to it... PCA is batting .350 with 47 runs scored, 15 doubles, five triples, 20 home runs, 45 RBIs, 16 stolen bases in 57 games since May 30th. And he also has 11 defensive runs saved in that time. He's the best player in the National League right now.
Max is right there with him, but mostly because he’s reached a level of Ohtani saturation that can only be cured by a 12-step program or a Dodgers first-round exit.
MaxI am fatigued by Shohei Ohtani
Let someone else win it. There's fatigue... I'm fatigued. I'm fatigued of Shohei Ohtani. I couldn't be more fatigued.
Monterrey Osos and the State of the Trenches
Former All-Pro center Ryan Kalil joined the show to discuss his YouTube documentary, *We Are Osos*, which follows the Mexican football team that Big Cat and PFT actually part-own. Kalil shared the reality of running a team where the quarterback sells insurance by day and practices at 9:00 PM. He also got into a serious breakdown of why today's NFL feels a little softer than the days of two-a-days and wet pads.
The NFL CBA and lack of two-a-days has led to more injuries because players aren't 'calloused' anymore
The one thing I think that we miss in the game from not having two-a-days anymore is you kind of weed out the guys that aren't built for the game. ... You don't build that anymore. You don't weed those guys out. So I do feel like a lot of injuries that you see is because of that.
PFT naturally tried to fix the Osos' offensive woes by pitching the one thing every professional football coach is too cowardly to try: the designed downfield lateral.
PFT CommenterDesigned downfield laterals are the future of football offenses and will eventually take over the sport
When the downfield lateral hits football, it's gonna take over offense. It's gonna change the sport. If you can plan out a design downfield lateral, once every series of plays, the chunk yardage you get off, if you coach it correctly and if it's practiced correctly, would vastly outweigh the risk of turnover.
The Newest Dodger Villain
Fresh off his move to Los Angeles, Tarik Skubal sat down to discuss the whirlwind of being traded while on a road trip. The transition from Detroit hero to Dodgers "villain" has been fast, but Skubal is leaning into the chaos. He addressed the fans who think he's ruined baseball just by being an elite asset and even humored Big Cat’s very specific rules about what constitutes a "statement" in a long MLB season.
Big CatYou cannot have a statement win in a 162-game baseball season, only a statement series
My whole point was it was game one of the series. If we had lost the next two games, how could you say that was a statement win? I'm all in on statement series. I think a statement series can absolutely happen in baseball.
Skubal also gave a masterclass in the pitcher's mindset, explaining why he doesn't let the short porches or thin air of different ballparks get in his head. He's a hoss, plain and simple.
Tarik SkubalPitchers shouldn't let a stadium's dimensions dictate how they approach hitters
I've always thought the environment can't change how you pitch. I just don't believe in that. ... You can't really let stadiums dictate how you're gonna go out, guys. You're gonna pitch to your strength, you know who you are and you're gonna attack hitter's weaknesses. ... We're both playing on the same field, so everything should kind of even out.
Gorilla Warfare
In what might be the most niche recurring segment in PMT history, Kimberly Skelton from the Brookfield Zoo joined to break down a recent two-for-two gorilla trade with the Columbus Zoo. We learned that gorilla trades aren't just about genetics; they're about locker room chemistry. Apparently, a gorilla named Nora was trying to take over the matriarchy, and the zoo had to send her packing for the good of the troop. It turns out the "Species Survival Program" is basically just a very high-stakes version of the MLB trade deadline.
Mt. Rushmore and Fyre Fest
The guys drafted a Mt. Rushmore of things to open, ranging from the classic (a cold beer) to the horny (consensual nudes). The draft was derailed briefly when Memes dropped a take about digital versus physical intimacy that had the whole room questioning his life choices.
MemesNudes are better than sex
Nudes are better than sex. Nah, I'm too fat to have sex, so that's why I like nudes. Blow jobs only.
To wrap things up, PFT used Fyre Fest to warn the listeners about the dangers of being too good at chess. He's been getting systematically dismantled on Chess.com by OnlyFans models who are apparently using the Sicilian Defense to drive subscription numbers.
PFT CommenterChess.com is being overrun by OnlyFans models honey-potting players
I've been playing a lot recently and I've noticed on chess.com, I've been getting my ass kicked recently by some really attractive women. ... Recently it's been a lot of very attractive women taking mirror selfies that are just beating the shit out of me in chess nonstop. And then in the chat feature as they check mate me, they're like, 'Hey, check out my OnlyFans'.
Meanwhile, Zac celebrated his 29th birthday with a leftover case of eyeliner from a commercial shoot that refused to wash off, leading to a very confusing and self-reflective walk home through the streets of Chicago.
ZacWalking home in leftover eyeliner from a commercial shoot made me feel incredibly gay and bad
I was walking down the sidewalk. I caught my reflection and I was like, all right, well shout out to the gays, but I look like a fat gay dude right now. And it was a bad look. I felt incredibly gay. It was terrible.
At least the eyeliner will come off eventually, but the memory of those OnlyFans checkmates will haunt PFT forever.
