I am the best person in the Barstool office at table tennis

The moment Hank had an opportunity to say I was no longer the best, he would have ran away with it. So I knew if I lost back-to-back... But I knew I'm [the best freaking one here].

Medina Spirit is a junkie horse

I put the blame on the horse. You can't just make excuses. The horse likes doing drugs, obviously. As our 45th president called it, it's a junkie horse.

My Kentucky Derby win has a huge asterisk because of Bob Baffert

I finally did win the Kentucky Derby, and I talked about it ad nauseum for the days afterwards, and then that one win has a huge asterisk because Bob Baffert is addicted to shooting his horses up with steroids.

I am done believing in Wisconsin basketball because they always rip my guts out in the tournament

I think the only lesson I've learned is like, I need to just stop believing. Because this has also become a thing where the Badgers haven't been to the Sweet 16 in like nine years... every year that we keep going is another year that I'm just reminded how close I was in 2015. I will never get back there. It just won't happen like every other team.

High Point is not a real school; it is a four-year post-high school vacation

High Point isn't a real school. It's vacation. It's vacation use four years of post high school vacation... Students in Madison right now still have another like, solid month and a half of Winter. High Point is going and eating ice cream and in their shorts and flip flops and having steaks.

Greg Gard deserves criticism but should not be fired as Wisconsin's head coach

I trust Greg Gard, but yeah, you have to throw some criticism to him... But I do not think he should be fired. And I don't think making an irrational... I think he does a pretty damn good job with everything that he's given.