Joey Chestnut is the greatest American of all time and saved the 4th of July

Joey Chestnut being the greatest American of all time and saving, literally saving the 4th of July for America. ... if we did a new Mount Rushmore of Greatest Americans of all time, it's Joey Chestnut [and no one] else.

The social media app Threads is boring and already dead because it's too nice

I'm already, it was fun for like two and a half days. ... I don't know what to do with it now because I just don't, there's nothing, it's too nice. ... I think I'm done. I think I'm done with it.

Golf ball manufacturers should put tracking chips in balls to prevent loss

They need to make a fucking golf ball with a chip in it that you can locate on your phone when you lose it in the Woods or in a bush or in tall grass. ... Let's make a golf ball with a chip in it. We we're way overdue for that

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?