Pimento cheese sandwiches taste like microwaved Dunkaroos

You could get the same effect from microwaved Dunkaroos for 30 minutes in your microwave and then making a ball out of it. That's what the pimento cheese sandwich tastes like.

Ernie Els six-putting at the Masters is the worst thing a South African person has ever done in history

The bottom line is what Ernie Els did today was probably the worst thing a South African person has ever done... in the history of the world.

Golf is not a major sport

I don't care if someone shoots the wrong club or if I said the wrong terminology with golf. Golf is not a major sport. It's not one of the four major sports for a reason. If it were a major sport, everyone would watch it.

Winter is officially over and next week will be golf weather

I think it's the official end of winter. Winter's done. Next week it's gonna be 60. Get the golf shoes out, get the shorts out. We made it another year of winter in Chicago.

Nebraska will finally get their first NCAA tournament win this year

I do think this is the year Nebraska gets their win. I think they have to. They're gonna be like minus 300 in the first round, minus 400. They gotta win.

This year's Final Four will determine if Tom Izzo is overrated

I think it just feels like it's Izzo. He's gonna go out in the Final Four. He's gonna get there. This is for whether or not he's overrated or not. I will admit that I was wrong... if they make it to this Final Four.