The Saints, Steelers, and Patriots all winning is a can't-lose parlay

There's no chance the Saints lose at home to the Panthers... The Steelers are not going to lose to the Bengals because Mason Rudolph has never lost a game after he's been accused of saying something racist... and the Patriots will beat the Cowboys because all you got to know about the Patriots Cowboys game is Jason Garrett verse Bill Belichick.

Always bet the over when Joe Buck is calling the game

I'll tie this right into our picks for the weekend. It makes me have to take the over in the Cowboys Patriots game... Joe Buck is I'm pretty sure is going to be announcing it... you always bet the over when Buck's calling.

The Bills -4 against the Broncos is a thermite accelerant flaming lock of the week

This one's going to be my thermite accelerant flaming lock of the week. So this is a big fucking fire. It's the Buffalo fucking bills -4 at home against the Broncos.

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?