The day Dan Snyder sells the Commanders will be the best day of my sports life

Washington Capital Stanley Cup is day number one of my sports life Nationals, nationals World Series, probably number two. And then I would put Dan Snyder selling the team. No... I'm gonna put this number one. I think this is a better day because it opens up the entire future of my football fandom.

The Washington Commanders should temporarily revert to 'Washington Football Team' before rebranding as the 'Hogs'

I hope that Josh Harris... they buy the team. And I hope they're like, you know what? This name sucks. The commander sucks. Nobody cares about it. Hogs. And then I hope they say, okay, we need a year to figure out what the end name of the team's gonna be. So we're gonna go back to the football team for a year. And then the year after that, they announced the new team name. Hogs would be great.

Mike McCarthy's body is composed of 90% fart

I said that he [Mike McCarthy] he's 90% fart in that picture. Yeah. His body's just composed the fart. ... if you took, if you did the 23 and me test, it'd be like 10% Irish, 90% fart.

Turkey is a 'peasant bird' and doesn't belong on the Thanksgiving table

I'm not fucking settling for peasant for the peasant bird. Thank you very much... Turkey is dog shit. You guys don't know how cook Turkey.

The Ravens will win the Super Bowl as a Wild Card underdog

Yes, of course. They're winning the Super Bowl. It's faded to be, we're going as the fucking wild card... we're gonna fucking get revenge on everyone. This will be, this is how it's done.

Season 1 Tony Soprano is the hottest man who has ever lived

Season one Tony [Soprano] is the hottest man ever that's ever lived, dude. Like the, and that's all I want. The girls who wanted to fuck him, that's who I want to fuck me. That's how I live my life.