I am going to die during the summer because I can no longer handle the heat

I realized something today. I'm going to be one of those people that dies in the summer because I just can't take the heat anymore. I fucking hate the summer. I'm done with the summer. I've just realized that I'm going to be probably in my 50s or 60s and it will be one of those situations where I'm mowing the lawn... and then I'm just going to die.

If you get arrested, you should drop the name of a mid-level officer rather than the President

If you get arrested, you want to drop a name. It's kind of the inverse of what you think it should be. You want to drop the smallest name possible that the guy would recognize. Like you want to drop the name of his slightly superior officer. You don't want to go straight to the top with the president.

Ohio State fans should have learned not to hold rallies before the facts are out from the Penn State / Joe Paterno situation

I feel like we should have learned our lesson with the Joe Paterno rallies. Maybe wait until we figure everything out before you do like an entire impromptu rally at the stadium being like Free Urban Meyer. I can't really wrap my head around these people because I would assume these are the same people that if you bash Urban Meyer on Twitter, they will reply with, wait till all the facts come out. But then they also held an entire rally with none of the facts out.

Home teams should always wear white in every sport

In any sport, one team should wear white... the home team should just wear white. Yes. That's it. And then the away team wears color. They can maybe switch it between a couple different colors. But the home team should always wear white.

Losing your debit card is a good way to replenish your finances by clearing out forgotten subscriptions.

That's how I look at losing my debit card sometimes because you get the monthly charges for things that you forget that you're subscribed to. And so then those charges stop and then you have to re-sign up for them again. You can look at this in a positive light, Bubba.

Carmelo Anthony has staying power because he has the coolest basketball name ever

Have you guys heard the theory why he [Carmelo Anthony] has so much staying power? It's just because he has the coolest basketball name of all time. Like if his name was like John Brown, he would have been benched years ago.