Theme parks and water parks use black sidewalks to dehydrate guests and increase concession sales

Have you ever noticed how theme parks and water parks always have black sidewalks? Yeah, to make you more thirsty so you buy more concessions. Yeah, stay woke. That's like pretzels at a bar.

If you get arrested, you should drop the name of a mid-level officer rather than the President

If you get arrested, you want to drop a name. It's kind of the inverse of what you think it should be. You want to drop the smallest name possible that the guy would recognize. Like you want to drop the name of his slightly superior officer. You don't want to go straight to the top with the president.

Ohio State fans should have learned not to hold rallies before the facts are out from the Penn State / Joe Paterno situation

I feel like we should have learned our lesson with the Joe Paterno rallies. Maybe wait until we figure everything out before you do like an entire impromptu rally at the stadium being like Free Urban Meyer. I can't really wrap my head around these people because I would assume these are the same people that if you bash Urban Meyer on Twitter, they will reply with, wait till all the facts come out. But then they also held an entire rally with none of the facts out.

Duke is the best team in the country and it would be an all-time failure if they don't win the title

This is the best team in the country. It would be an all time epic failure if Duke doesn't win the national title. They are the first time I believe that a team has reached plus 40 in Ken Palm since 1999. Duke... This team has it all.

Duke not winning the national title would be the most consequential sports story of all time

I think it would be the biggest sports story of all time. If Duke did not win the national title this year. All time. I think all time story... Duke not winning at all this year would be the biggest, the most consequential sports story of all time. Not our lifetimes of all time.

Arizona's Tommy Lloyd is a candidate to choke in March because he is a Mark Few disciple

Tommy Lloyd being a Mark Few disciple, even though Arizona is really, really, really good. Yeah. I'm just like, that guy's getting choke in March.