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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Ass-eating season is 100% back

I said that it was toe-sucking season, but I'm retracting that. Ass-eating season is 100% back. Gabby Union said that she eats Dwayne Wade's ass.

This is a subjective claim about cultural/sexual trends.

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HankHank

The Chicago Bears are for real

The Bears are for real. Never meant to make Cam Newton cry. See his outfit. What a real weird guy. John Fox has his team playing John Fox football, which means he takes his [team] back to a time before the forward pass existed.

The 2017 Bears finished 5-11 and were definitively not 'for real'.
Loss
Oct 23, 2017
#7377
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Millennials are ruining football because their brittle bones are not breastfed long enough

It's millennials that are ruining football, but with their brittle little bones, they're not breastfed until a proper age, and so they all get hurt.

This is a satirical health claim that is biologically absurd.
Push
Oct 23, 2017
#7378
Big CatBig Cat

The Atlanta Falcons are officially pretenders

The Falcons are pretenders. They are officially in the pretenders pile. You know what's great, too, is I think they started like 2-0 and everyone was like, see, told you, the Falcons do not have a Super Bowl hangover. Now you see them. They are mentally just broken.

The Falcons actually went 10-6 and won a playoff game in 2017, proving they weren't total pretenders, though they didn't reach the Super Bowl again.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Winter is officially over and next week will be golf weather

I think it's the official end of winter. Winter's done. Next week it's gonna be 60. Get the golf shoes out, get the shorts out. We made it another year of winter in Chicago.

This is a short-term weather prediction that would be resolvable within a week of the episode date.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Nebraska will finally get their first NCAA tournament win this year

I do think this is the year Nebraska gets their win. I think they have to. They're gonna be like minus 300 in the first round, minus 400. They gotta win.

Nebraska's first-round game in the 2026 tournament will determine if this is correct.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

If Tom Izzo makes this year's Final Four, I will admit I was wrong about him being overrated for the last 10 years.

I think it just feels like it's Izzo. He's gonna go out in the Final Four. He's gonna get there. This is for whether or not he's overrated or not. I will admit that I was wrong. I had 10 years of being wrong about Tom Izzo if they make it to this Final Four.

Michigan State did not make the Final Four in 2026, meaning PFT did not have to retract his take.

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