J.J. Watt is the most basic white bitch in the world
J.J. Watt is the most basic white bitch in the world now. It's official. This is birthday week. [He] wants you to think that he's Rocky training for Ivan Drago and pushing logs up a snowy hill all winter [but] he's got a mansion in Wisconsin with a Starbucks five miles away.
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View episodeBirthdays are only for girls once you turn 20 years old
Birthdays are for chicks now, right? Like after you turn 20 years old, birthdays are for chicks. Hand over your man card, JJ [Watt]. Birthdays aren't men's stuff anymore.
A nose tackle is the best job in the NFL
I would love to be a nose tackle in the NFL because your job description is like eat as much shit as you want, as long as you can stand up and just not fall over backwards from your own girth. Just be so big that it takes two people to touch you at the same time.
Hulk Hogan's sex tape was likely a publicity stunt
I find it hard to believe that this wasn't some kind of a stunt where [Hulk Hogan] gave his permission to do this. I don't think the stunt was meant for him to originally bring a lawsuit. I think the stunt was probably so he would get clicks and hits and publicity.
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View profileCollege basketball has five absolutely dominant teams this year
We have five, you could even maybe go to six, just absolutely dominant teams. Michigan, UConn, Duke, Arizona, and Florida that are playing at such an insane level.
Florida can win the national championship because they can shoot threes now
Florida though, I've been talking about Florida for three weeks. They could shoot threes now. They absolutely kicked [Arkansas's]... They just throttle teams. All four of [Duke, Michigan, Arizona, Florida] would be the best team in the previous five years.
Miami of Ohio will make the tournament even if they lose in the conference tournament
I'm saying right now, winning every... If they go undefeated in the conference, that is so hard to do. I think if they go undefeated in the conference and then lose in the conference tournament, I think they will be in.