Villanova should officially be considered a basketball Blue Blood

If you look at, you mentioned Bluebloods, these are four. I would even say Villanova might be a blue blood... I would take away one drop of blue blood from Kentucky, like Elizabeth Holmes, and I'm giving it to Villanova.

A UNC win would prove Roy Williams is a better coach than Coach K

If UNC wins, that would be an all-time vindication for Roy Williams, being a better head coach than Coach K... If Roy Williams picked the perfect time to walk away and his hand chosen successor beat Coach K who stuck around for year long, suck Fest... I think that's another feather in the cap for Roy.

Coach K's farewell tour is already a success because he reached the Final Four

Getting to the Final Four is like his farewell tour has worked. I've already admitted some defeat because getting to the Final Four is like his farewell tour has worked.

Tom Segura is on steroids

Tom Segura's on steroids. Yeah. Tom. Yeah. I can't believe people don't know that. No, no, no. He's been 270 pounds his whole life. And then last year he found 'discipline.' Sure, sure. Was it No, you don't think it's the proximity of him and Joe Rogan maybe happened the same fucking needles.

I will die at 77 in a shocking accident like a shark attack or saving kids

If I can make it to 77, I think I'll make it to 77 clean. And I think I'm gonna go like from like a shark attack or something really... I want to get like attacked by an animal or like a plane crash would be nice... I want my death to be shocking... Saving some kids. That's what I want. Hero. That's how I wanna die.

Bert Kreischer has a Division 1 level tennis serve

I have a division one serve in tennis... I aced him [Tom Segura] 42 times... his tennis coach pulled Thomas out before the match. He said, 'heads up your boy's got a division one serve.'