PMT DB
PMT DB
Blue Blood Final Four, Bert Kreischer, and the Will Smith Oscars Slap
The Blue Blood Invitational is officially set, and while the Elite Eight games might have been a bit of a letdown in terms of drama, the stage is now perfectly positioned for a blood war in New Orleans. Big Cat and PFT are bracing themselves for a week of insufferable Coach K worship as Duke, UNC, Kansas, and Villanova head to the Final Four. Big Cat has already thrown everything in his arsenal at the Duke jinx, from going Game of the Year against them to tweeting as 'Dukie Dan' all Saturday, but he's starting to realize the farewell tour might be destined for a storybook ending.
Big CatCoach K's farewell tour is already a success because he reached the Final Four
Getting to the Final Four is like his farewell tour has worked. I've already admitted some defeat because getting to the Final Four is like his farewell tour has worked.
While the focus is on the traditional powers, PFT is ready to rearrange the hierarchy of college basketball history based on what he's seen lately. He’s looking to swap out some of the old guard for the program that actually wins in the modern era.
PFT CommenterVillanova should officially be considered a basketball Blue Blood
If you look at, you mentioned Bluebloods, these are four. I would even say Villanova might be a blue blood... I would take away one drop of blue blood from Kentucky, like Elizabeth Holmes, and I'm giving it to Villanova.
The impending Duke vs. UNC matchup is the first time these rivals have ever met in the tournament, and the stakes couldn't be higher. PFT pointed out that this game is a massive legacy play for the coaches involved, specifically regarding the guy who left without a year-long celebration.
PFT CommenterA UNC win would prove Roy Williams is a better coach than Coach K
If UNC wins, that would be an all-time vindication for Roy Williams, being a better head coach than Coach K... If Roy Williams picked the perfect time to walk away and his hand chosen successor beat Coach K who stuck around for year long, suck Fest... I think that's another feather in the cap for Roy.
The Slap Heard 'Round the Podcast
Just as the guys were wrapping up, the Oscars descended into total madness. Will Smith walking on stage to slap Chris Rock forced an emergency Zoom segment where everyone tried to determine if we just witnessed history or a high-level work. Billy Football, ever the skeptic of mainstream media, isn't buying it for a second.
Billy FootballThe Will Smith slap at the Oscars was a fake, staged event
When Chris Rock took the slap, he watched Will Smith walk up to him... the whole time Chris Rock has hands behind his back. And when he got slapped, you know, he was just totally open... honestly, I fall for a lot of fake stuff on the internet. And this is one of those ones where I'm just like fake.
Big Cat, on the other hand, thinks the reality is much darker and rooted in the Smiths' personal lives and beliefs. He’s convinced the slap was a byproduct of the pressure Will Smith feels in his high-profile marriage.
Big CatOpen relationships are always bullshit
Will Smith's in an open relationship with Jada Pinkett Smith... Open relationships are always bullshit because of this. Like, he probably is like, oh, I got to do something. Otherwise someone else is going to have sex with her tonight.
PFT is already looking toward the future of the meme and the inevitable corporate reconciliation that follows every major Hollywood scandal. He doesn't think the drama is over; it's just going to take a break until the next big sporting stage.
PFT CommenterWill Smith and Chris Rock will host the next Oscars together
I think that Chris Rock and Will Smith will definitely be hosting next year's Oscars together. I also think that they're probably going to do like a little routine together. At some point they're going to be in a commercial.
Bert Kreischer in Studio
Bert Kreischer returned to the studio with the energy of a man who hasn't slept and probably doesn't plan to. He shared a legendary story about running for a school PTA position specifically to spite a mother who stopped hiking with his wife, proving that the "Machine" energy never really turns off. He also detailed the horrific injuries Tom Segura suffered during their basketball dunk competition, though he maintains that his own athletic prowess remains unmatched in specific areas.
Bert KreischerBert Kreischer has a Division 1 level tennis serve
I have a division one serve in tennis... I aced him [Tom Segura] 42 times... his tennis coach pulled Thomas out before the match. He said, 'heads up your boy's got a division one serve.'
Bert also discussed his latest business venture, which involves a massive investment in an endurance racing team. It’s an idea that sounds like a joke but has already started attracting serious ad interest because, as the guys noted, people love watching weirdos do things.
Bert KreischerA 'Two Bears Racing' endurance team is a viable business idea
I came up with stupid fucking two bears racing... I fucking just invested a hundred thousand dollars... already in just talking about it, all our advertisers for two bears have asked if they could buy space on the car. And I'm like, oh, this could work out pretty good.
Who's Back and Hank's Heater
In Who's Back, the guys celebrated the USMNT qualifying for the World Cup, even if the timing is going to create a massive conflict for every football fan in America this fall. PFT is all in on the current roster's potential.
PFT CommenterThe current USMNT roster is a 'Golden Generation'
The U.S. Men's National Team... suck my dick Italy. They didn't make it. We did... the golden generation for the U.S. soccer team is here. I just hear people say that. It sounds so cool when they say it. So I think we can officially declare because this team is young enough. I'm just going to say, this is our golden generation.
Meanwhile, Hank is currently the hottest gambler on the planet. He’s turned a three-thousand-dollar deposit into a massive bankroll over the tournament and is now looking to parlay that success into a life-changing score involving his beloved Celtics.
HankHank's parlay: Duke and Kansas to win their Final Four games, and the Celtics to win the NBA Championship
Duke Celtics championship future... Duke money line, Kansas money line and Celtics championship... 5,000 pays 115,000. That's it.
If the Celtics actually pull it off after Duke wins, Hank might never come back to work. New Orleans is going to be a very dangerous place for his bank account.
Coach K still has the potential to ruin everyone's lives one last time.
