Canceling an NFL game causes an immediate increase in local crime

When you cancel a game, there's a crime wave that hits the town. There's an increase in evil that we call crime. So unless you want Canton, Ohio to be run over by thugs tonight, you better have that damn kickoff.

Ryan Tannehill is effectively retired because wide receivers cannot return from knee injuries

I'm going to say [Ryan Tannehill] is injured right now because a knee injury is impossible to come back from for a wide receiver.

The sun is scientifically cold because space is cold

Where do you land, by the way, on our theory that the sun is, in fact, cold? I'm a fan of the space that just seems to shut everybody down. Space is cold and everyone just... When you said you were willing to hear it out, I was just going to say space is cold. That's it.

North Carolina's inclusion in the tournament is the most egregious committee decision ever

I thought North Carolina, at no point in the season did they look like an NCAA tournament team. They, they, yeah. They, their, their, their highs weren't very high. Their lows were pretty damn low. And I was, I was stunned. I was, in all the years of, you know, that's how the bracket works. It comes out, we, we lose our minds about teams that got in that didn't deserve it. We, we feel bad for the teams that were left out. This is the most egregious example that I've ever seen.

The 2025 National Champion will be a 1 or 2 seed

I think the national champion is in that group [of 11 teams meeting KenPom criteria]... I have a really good feeling that it was gonna be a one or a two. 'Cause if you watched all season, it just felt like these teams are just way better than everybody else. I feel that way this year for the first time since 2015. I have that same feeling again.

The 2025 NCAA Tournament will be very 'chalky' with high seeds dominating

I think this is the year of chalk... I have a really good feeling that it was gonna be a one or a two. Because if you watched all season, it just felt like these teams are just way better than everybody else... I'm very, very confident that your national champion will be a one or two.