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Loss
HankHank

I could catch a fish with my bare hands in an Alaskan river in one day

I said, hey, coach [Jeff Fisher], do you think that I could catch a fish with my bare hands in an Alaskan river? And he said, absolutely... One day. One Alaskan day. Catch it out of the water, kill it, eat it.

Hank famously attempted this on a later trip and failed miserably, nearly getting hypothermia and catching zero fish.

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Void
Jul 22, 2019
#4741
Big CatBig Cat

J.B. Holmes ruined the Open Championship with his slow play

Fuck J.B. Holmes. Fuck him. Brooks Koepka would have won. He ruined the Open Championship. Ruined it.

While Koepka's frustration was real, it is subjective whether he would have definitely won if J.B. Holmes played faster.
Win
Jul 22, 2019
#4742
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

J.B. Holmes is the slowest golfer ever

Slowest player ever. Very slow. And he shot an 87. So if you're going to be that slow and shoot an 87, that's an issue.

J.B. Holmes is statistically one of the slowest players on the PGA Tour, and shooting 87 is a historically bad round for a major final group.
Loss
Jul 22, 2019
#20731
Big CatBig Cat

Tiger Woods intentionally missed the cut at the Open so people would forget how poorly he played

Credit to Tiger being smart enough to just not make the cut so everyone forgets he didn't make the cut and we don't talk about him on Sunday. Like, hey, Tiger really sucked.

Hot TakeGolfHotSarcastic
Tiger did miss the cut, but the idea it was intentional for PR reasons is satirical.

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Win
HankHank

Fanatics and Nike failed American fans by not producing enough USA hockey jerseys after the gold medal win

My Hot Seat: Fanatics and Nike... They thought that Canada was gonna win the gold, so they just did not make enough USA jerseys. And so by the time USA won the gold, they were already sold out. It's disgusting. Drop the ball.

The inventory levels are fact-verifiable; if they were sold out immediately, the claim is correct.
Open
HankHank

Heat 2 will be a 'disgusting' (great) film starring Christian Bale and Leonardo DiCaprio

My Cool Throne: Heat 2. Christian Bale. Leonardo DiCaprio. Disgusting film. Hell yes. I trust Jake Hamilton. He reported it. Christian Bale, Leo DiCaprio, Heat 2. I'm in. Awesome.

Casting rumors for Heat 2 are ongoing; if the film releases with these stars, it would be correct.
Void
HankHank

Jacob Bridgeman's wife is wrong; he is a better golfer than he is a person

Jacob Bridgeman... there was a clip on PGA tour posted from his wife that said he is a better person than he is a golfer. Not true. Not true, dude. You just won a PGA Tour tournament... You're a top 50 golfer alive right now. You're not top 50 human beings. Sorry buddy.

This is a subjective, comedic judgment of value.

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