The Chicago Bears are for real

The Bears are for real. Never meant to make Cam Newton cry. See his outfit. What a real weird guy. John Fox has his team playing John Fox football, which means he takes his [team] back to a time before the forward pass existed.

Millennials are ruining football because their brittle bones are not breastfed long enough

It's millennials that are ruining football, but with their brittle little bones, they're not breastfed until a proper age, and so they all get hurt.

The Atlanta Falcons are officially pretenders

The Falcons are pretenders. They are officially in the pretenders pile. You know what's great, too, is I think they started like 2-0 and everyone was like, see, told you, the Falcons do not have a Super Bowl hangover. Now you see them. They are mentally just broken.

The MLB Division Series is too short and should be seven games

I think the division series is too short though. Ooh, I don't understand. I don't understand why you play 162 and then it's gotta be five games. I think the, the better team would win out more often in a seven game series.

Yordan Alvarez is the best hitter I have ever had to scout

We've faced Yordan [Alvarez] this year. He was, he's the best hitter I've ever had to advance scout. Whoa. I'm talking about covering all the pitches, hitting lefties, everything. He's the best hitter I've ever had to had to scout.

If I had played every day in 2010, I would have been better than Shohei Ohtani

It is crazy [what Ohtani is doing] until you look at how I hit in 2010 and realized that I was basically Shohei Ohtani in 2010. If I would play every day like Ohtani, I would be better probably than Ohtani. The only thing that he can do that I couldn't do is run, and I couldn't run that well.