Anything said at a championship parade should be protected by client-patient confidentiality

Anything you say at a Championship parade should be, that's like, that's client patient confidentiality. You can't, can't hold that against anybody. You're drunk at a parade. You're gonna say what you want.

The Jeremy Grant contract was the straw that broke the camel's back for Damian Lillard

The biggest loser in free agency is Jeremy Grant. Jeremy Grant got 150 million to return to the Trailblazers. Now on paper you're like, wow, that's a great deal. But the contract was the straw that broke the camel's back for Dame. He was like, this is, this is what we're doing in free agency. We're resigning Jeremy Grant. Yeah, fuck you guys. I'm out.

The theory that Portland should treat Dame Lillard 'correctly' to attract future free agents is the dumbest theory in the world

The the theory that the Blazers should treat Dame correctly so that they could get future free agents is the dumbest theory in the world. They're not gonna get future free agents. They should get whatever they can get.

Bratwurst has the worst physical aftermath of any competitive eating food

There's a couple that like, I know going in, they're gonna be rough. Like anything with bratwurst, bratwurst, man, there's, they add extra fat in there and it, it's, it's running through you. It, it, it, it's, you're not in control. It's there. There's, there's accidents bound to happen there.

I can eat two gallons of soft-serve ice cream in eight minutes

I'm thinking close to, close to two gallons worth. It'd be, it'd be like, so I did an ice cream contest and after the contest I was like shivering because I was so, like, it was like everything was cold. So I, I think close to two gallons would be in, in about eight minutes.

I am going to smash the hot dog world record against Kobayashi

I'm gonna smash [the record]. I'm gonna eat more hot dogs than ever before... Right now the over-under is like 66, and I'm gonna blow that out.