The fire drill is the best 'The Office' cold open

Number one is I think the fire that Dwight starts... the fire wall on them that was after a Super Bowl too if I remember correctly.

A 2020 World Series title for the Mets would deserve four asterisks

Mets huge huge asterisks for four asterisks for what if they win the World Series.

If the Browns win the Super Bowl with no fans, it has an asterisk

If there's no fans in the stadium for the entire NFL season and the Browns win the Super bowl, of course as a Browns fan you're going to take it no matter what but still, you know, people will be like well, then let's play in front of any road games.

Betting the over on Alabama basketball is a cheat code

Alabama by the way is a cheat code if you want to get in on it. It's just betting their overs. They just never stopped missing. This has been like, oh, two weeks now they're over under for the first half was 45 and a half points last night. They scored 69 in the first half.

I am offering a $10,000 bounty to find the UNC staffer who punched a Duke staffer

I will not sleep until we find this UNC staffer who punched one of your guys... Let's put a bounty on it. I will offer $5,000. [PFT]: I'll match. [Big Cat]: $10,000 if anyone can find the UNC person who punched a Duke staffer after the game. $10,000 cash. Give us the footage leading to their arrest.

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?