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Big CatBig Cat

Andrew Luck is not a Super Bowl winning quarterback because he orders chicken at steakhouses

I asked what Andrew Luck's order was [at St. Elmo's], and they said he usually gets chicken. So that's been my big red flag. My one red flag is he orders chicken at a steakhouse. That's not a Super Bowl-winning quarterback.

Andrew Luck retired early in 2019 without winning a Super Bowl, though the reasoning here remains hilarious rather than scientific.

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The Chargers won the Eli Manning trade once and for all because the Giants are 0-5

Odell Beckham, more like 0-5, Odell Beckham. The Giants remain winless, and the Chargers win the Eli Manning-Philip Rivers trade once and for all.

Eli Manning has two Super Bowls to Philip Rivers' zero, so the trade is widely considered a win for the Giants regardless of the 2017 record.
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The Eagles have no possible way to screw up this winning season

Philadelphia's got their blue-collar quarterback and a winning team. There is no possible way they can screw this one up, folks.

The Eagles actually won Super Bowl LII, making this sarcastic 'jinx' prediction literally correct.
Loss
Oct 9, 2017
#25596
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Offensive line coaches should be recreational cocaine users to stay amped for the job

I don't have a problem with an offensive line coach just doing a little recreational blow as long as it's on the job. If you use it just to get amped up before a meeting, what's the difference between that and just banging a monster?

The Dolphins offensive line coach Chris Foerster resigned shortly after this video surfaced; it is not considered acceptable behavior in the NFL.

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Big CatBig Cat

The Vikings officially have a Kyler Murray problem

I think we can officially say they have a Kyler Murray problem. Justin Jefferson has reached his point where he's like, 'What the fuck is going on?' So that would be my point. Maybe there's a Kyler Murray issue.

Whether Minnesota had a significant Kyler Murray problem is an evaluative football judgment rather than a definitively resolvable fact.
Open
Big CatBig Cat

The Vikings should trade for Kirk Cousins

What if I told you the Vikings could trade for a quarterback that has 18 touchdown passes and a rushing touchdown? Would that be something you think you'd be interested in if you were a Minnesota Viking fan? Kirk Cousins.

Whether Kirk Cousins was traded to Minnesota during the 2026 season is not established by the transcript or reliably known here.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Jalen Warren is a top-five running back

Jalen Warren is the top five running back this year. And it's like watching him play, that changes what I think about the Steelers.

Top-five running back status is ultimately a subjective ranking that cannot be definitively resolved.