Carson Wentz is the real deal and will break the Philly Super Bowl curse

Carson Wentz, the real deal. No way is this going to backfire, Philly. He is one of the best quarterbacks I've ever seen. Poise out of his eyeball. Hey, Philly, your Super Bowl curse, you're Gucci. You're Gucci, bro. You're breaking that, buddy.

The Vikings are actually better without Teddy Bridgewater

I think the Vikings are actually better without Teddy Bridgewater. They have a guy now that can get the job done. Sean Hill, he's a gamer... he's a guy that can win a game for you.

Jimmy Garoppolo is the future quarterback of the Chicago Bears

Future Bear quarterback, Jimmy Garoppolo. If you say it enough, people are going to start getting it in their head... Jimmy Garoppolo from Illinois, Eastern Illinois product. Bears.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.