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Void
May 16, 2016·NBA Playoffs
#4422
Big CatBig Cat

Cleveland fans shouldn't complain about losing because they are all Ohio State fans who win every year

Everyone in Cleveland crying in their soup about all their losses. They're all Ohio State fans. And they win every fucking year. Shut up.

The 'woe is me' narrative in Cleveland often ignores college football success, which is a fact, though the 'shut up' part is an opinion.

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Win
May 16, 2016·Bortles Wikipedia Club
#27062
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Joining the Wikipedia club will help you get at least two correct answers on Jeopardy in the next six months

I guarantee you that by joining our [Blake Bortles] Wikipedia club you're going to get like at least two correct answers in Jeopardy over the next six months. This is going to come in so handy for you, like way more practical than Andrew [Luck's book club].

While difficult to verify for every listener, the general claim that reading more Wikipedia increases trivia knowledge is likely true.
Void
May 16, 2016
#4412
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

You should always throw the first punch against a man named Rougned Odor

Rule of thumb. You always throw the first punch against a guy named Rougned. That's a guy that can't go back. That's a guy that's got nothing to lose right there.

This is a humorous rule of thumb based on a name.
Void
May 16, 2016·MLB Brawl Recap
#4415
Big CatBig Cat

Jose Bautista didn't expect to be punched because real punches never happen in baseball fights

[Bautista] basically was like, I can guarantee that this won't happen because it's never, ever happened. I mean, the last time a true punch was thrown, Michael Barrett and AJ Pierzynski, I mean, it's been a long time. So he banked on that.

While Bautista's inner thoughts are unknown, this is a standard analysis of baseball brawl dynamics.

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Void
Jul 17, 2026·Mt. Rushmore
#30966
Big CatBig Cat

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

While funny, avian intelligence is usually measured by tool use (crows) or problem-solving, though urban adaptation is a form of intelligence.
Void
Jul 15, 2026
#30948
Big CatBig Cat

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

This is a hypothetical claim about a retired player's current ability, which is fundamentally subjective.
Void
Jul 15, 2026
#30949
Big CatBig Cat

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.

Inherently subjective and hyperbolic comparison.