The Chargers won the Eli Manning trade once and for all because the Giants are 0-5

Odell Beckham, more like 0-5, Odell Beckham. The Giants remain winless, and the Chargers win the Eli Manning-Philip Rivers trade once and for all.

The Eagles have no possible way to screw up this winning season

Philadelphia's got their blue-collar quarterback and a winning team. There is no possible way they can screw this one up, folks.

Offensive line coaches should be recreational cocaine users to stay amped for the job

I don't have a problem with an offensive line coach just doing a little recreational blow as long as it's on the job. If you use it just to get amped up before a meeting, what's the difference between that and just banging a monster?

The Lions will win the NFC North

I think they're gonna be really good. Are the Lions on Crosby watch? ... I think them and maybe the Cowboys might be on Crosby watch. ... I think they probably will win the NFC North.

The Bears could have a top-five offense even if they miss the playoffs

There's a world where the Bears don't make the playoffs, but they're a top-five offense. And our defense is so bad that I can almost—I would be very upset, but I could deal with it.

The Jaguars could win the AFC South

I think the Jaguars are not getting any respect or talked about a lot. I think they're gonna be really good this year. They could win the South. I think Trevor Lawrence is gonna keep going forward.