In Youngstown, 90% of a bar will turn around if you yell 'Hey Coach'

It's like if you ever go to Chuck E. Cheese and say, hey, Dad, just scream out, Dad, everybody turns around. If you go into the bocce ball tournament and say, hey, Coach, like 90% of the bar turns around. They're like, you talking to me?

Golf celebrations are best when they are simple hat tips rather than failed physical coordination

I think golf celebrations are best executed when it's just the two guys taking their hats off and tipping them at each other. Just like a real, let's keep it, let's crawl before we learn how to walk, let alone run. The golf celebration is just you take your visor off before you shake the guy's hand.

Tim Tebow will be in the Major Leagues later this year

The Mets have such bad injuries that [Tim] Tebow is just going to be on the Mets. He's going to be in the major leagues later on this year.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.