If you win only one Super Bowl, you actually have zero

He's won one Super Bowl, which we can get into cause I have the theory that if you win one Super Bowl, you actually have none.

Steve Harvey is the greatest game show host of his generation.

But I will say one guy who's transcended all of that and even surpassed Louie Anderson, who nobody thought ever could is Steve Harvey with Family Feud. America's host Family Feud. You know what I mean? I think Steve definitely did that.

Having a child is a completely transformative experience that non-parents cannot understand

That's one of those ones that like, if you don't have kids, and I'm not shaming anyone, but like when you do have a kid, you're like, oh fuck, this is completely different than anything else.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.