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Void
May 14, 2018
#26833
Big CatBig Cat

I have a photographic memory like LeBron James

LeBron memory test... I had a donut on Saturday, but I played two hours of basketball, so that doesn't count. I had a donut. I had two donuts... I had Thai food for dinner... Fucking photographic memory of my ass.

The take is satirical and subjective regarding his own memory abilities compared to LeBron.

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Loss
May 14, 2018
#14822
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Celtics are a problem for the Cavaliers

I think it's a problem. I mean, everybody's saying, okay, LeBron's going to just snap back into LeBron. But Brad Stevens, the mad scientist, looks like he's just completely outmatching the Cavs. The Cavs suck, besides LeBron.

The Celtics took the series to 7 games, but LeBron eventually willed the Cavs to victory, proving he could indeed 'snap back'.
Push
May 14, 2018
#14825
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Celtics are better off without Kyrie Irving and Gordon Hayward

They're a better team without Kyrie and Gordon Hayward. Yeah, everyone keeps saying, well, they'll have their two best players back next year. Well, do you really want that? No, you don't. You get rid of them. You dump those salaries. Yeah, you reload on draft picks. Yeah, you sign Terry Rozier to a 10-year contract.

The following year with Kyrie was a disaster chemistry-wise, but they clearly weren't a 'better' team long-term without All-Star talent.
Push
May 14, 2018
#14828
Big CatBig Cat

James Harden will suck in the Western Conference Finals

I'm excited for James Harden to submit a James Harden full-on series. He is going to suck in this series. That's my prediction. He's going to have at least two or three games. You'll be like, is James Harden? Is he drunk?

Harden averaged 28 points per game, but did shoot poorly in Game 7 (2-13 from three) as the Rockets famously missed 27 straight threes.

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Void
Jul 17, 2026·Mt. Rushmore
#30966
Big CatBig Cat

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

While funny, avian intelligence is usually measured by tool use (crows) or problem-solving, though urban adaptation is a form of intelligence.
Void
Jul 15, 2026
#30948
Big CatBig Cat

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

This is a hypothetical claim about a retired player's current ability, which is fundamentally subjective.
Void
Jul 15, 2026
#30949
Big CatBig Cat

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.

Inherently subjective and hyperbolic comparison.