It is finally safe to donate to cancer charities now that OJ Simpson is dead

The big news is it's finally okay to donate to cancer curing charities now again. Yes. Because now there's no chance that money goes to help OJ.

OJ Simpson was a significantly better football player than he was a person

Say what you will about OJ. But he was a way, way better football player than person. Absolutely. Not even close. Like 2000 yards in 14 games.

The Buffalo Bills have been cursed from returning to the Super Bowl since OJ Simpson committed murder in 1994

I realized after OJ died, the Bills haven't made the Super Bowl since he committed double murder. 1994, the Bills played in the Super Bowl. Summer 94 [the murder happened]. This might be good things for the Bills [now that he's dead].

Paddy the Baddy is the next star of the UFC

Paddy the Baddy was electric. Paddy the Baddy is the next star of the UFC.

I bet LeBron James will announce his next team on Thursday using a golf ball gender reveal format

I think it's going to be like a gender reveal, but with a golf ball. And he's gonna hit the golf ball and it's gonna be the Cavs colors... Burgundy. Do it, do it Thursday. LeBron.

Andy Reid on a horse is a massive Mount Rushmore miss

Andy Reid should have been a pick. The more, just think about it, the more Andy Reid on a horse... that is so fucking funny.