Birthdays are only for girls once you turn 20 years old

Birthdays are for chicks now, right? Like after you turn 20 years old, birthdays are for chicks. Hand over your man card, JJ [Watt]. Birthdays aren't men's stuff anymore.

A nose tackle is the best job in the NFL

I would love to be a nose tackle in the NFL because your job description is like eat as much shit as you want, as long as you can stand up and just not fall over backwards from your own girth. Just be so big that it takes two people to touch you at the same time.

Hulk Hogan's sex tape was likely a publicity stunt

I find it hard to believe that this wasn't some kind of a stunt where [Hulk Hogan] gave his permission to do this. I don't think the stunt was meant for him to originally bring a lawsuit. I think the stunt was probably so he would get clicks and hits and publicity.

Michigan was definitively the better team in the National Championship and it never felt like UConn was in danger of winning.

Michigan was the better team. We all saw it. It never felt like [the game] was in danger. Like the only moment that I was like, oh, UConn might have a chance, was when there was like maybe five and a half minutes left and Mullens missed that three to cut it to four.

Michigan was the best team all year — outside of Duke, who would have won the championship by a lot

They were the best team. They were the best team all year outside of Duke. 'Cause that actually was my other big takeaway — Duke just completely, Duke beat this Michigan team a month and a half ago.

Danny Hurley is 18-1 against the spread in his last four NCAA tournaments, which is insane

Danny Hurley remains 18 and one in the last four tournaments against the spread. How insane is that? Furman is the only one that they didn't cover. That was the first round this year.